Ambition is Not a Dirty Word

Dear Debra: After being laid off, I started a small web design business. It’s great commuting to my office (my couch) in pajamas. I have paying clients. But some days it’s hard staying motivated, disciplined, and organized. –Solo in New York

Get out of bed on the right foot. Even if you know you’ll be working from home all day, get up, shower, and put on clean clothes; sweats are fine but no pj’s. Don’t work in socks or bare feet: there is something about wearing shoes when working from home that is grounding and legitimizing.

Get off the couch. Find a designated makeshift space for your office. A coaching client who lives in a studio turned a tiny walk-in hall closet into his office by removing the vinyl-coated wire shelves and installing Ikea bookshelves, a chair, and small desk. Another client discovered a small, unused alcove is the perfect spot for a desk and workspace—the bonus window offers light and an inspiring view.

Break isolation. A colleague working from home recalled not having spoken to anyone for several days during the intense, laser-focus phase of launching her start-up. Only when her mother phoned and she felt compelled to take the call did she realize she had laryngitis. Working alone, we risk losing perspective, sounding boards, and reality checks. Phone (e-mailing doesn’t count!) at least one colleague (not friend) a day; go for a coffee or lunch brain exchange weekly; attend one monthly networking event.

Dress for success, mark your territory, stay connected—and watch your business mojo flourish.

Dear Debra: After I spearheaded a major project for our division, my boss singled me out for praise I deserved. I don’t know why I did it—to be humble and nice, I guess—but I “shared” the glory with a coworker I felt sorry for who did barely a fraction of the work. Now, it looks like that co-worker (who has turned out to be manipulative and backstabbing), not me, will be joining my boss at the next inter-departmental briefing on this project. Can I recover from shooting myself in the foot? –Limping, 29.

What do you do when you’ve missed an opportunity and given away your credit? You need to fix that mistake. Here’s how one of my clients—Liz—did it.

A huge project opportunity came in. All candidates had to submit comprehensive pitch materials to the prospective client on short notice. Liz’s boss was away on a family emergency, so she was in charge of the pitch process. She had to gather pieces from sales, marketing, publicity, financial and new media, but she was the architect of the whole thing and was responsible for making all of the creative and judgment calls. When Liz got the call telling her they’d won the assignment, the new client singled her out as a crucial factor in awarding the deal to the firm. When her boss came back, he said, ‘I don’t know who wrote this pitch, but it’s perfectly positioned. It’s a great job.’ Liz told him, “We all worked on it, it was a team effort, the usual ‘girl’ stuff.” But when she got back to her desk, she “felt like crap for not taking credit.”

Liz only spent about ten minutes “feeling like crap” before she wrote her boss an e-mail saying, “I don’t know why I couldn’t tell you this when you asked, but the truth is, I spearheaded that project—and I wrote that pitch letter.” The result? He reiterated that it was a great job and Liz “felt a million times better.”

Obviously Liz could have popped back by her boss’s office to correct her missed credit opportunity; repairing a credit mistake in person is another option to e-mail if you’re more comfortable stopping by his office to say what you wished you’d said earlier.

For now, weigh whether you can elegantly set the record straight with your boss. But the next time someone says, “This was a great job!”, you should reply, without missing a beat: “Thank you. I worked hard to nail it. I appreciate your comments.” Stop selling yourself short. Taking credit is key to being a serious contender.

Oh, and watch your back for credit thieves who make nice and then turn on you!

Dear Debra: I’ve been asked to present at a high-profile company event. My bosses, colleagues, donors, and board members will be attending. I’m petrified. Help!

Practice until you can’t stand the sound of your own voice. Practice breeds confidence. It’s impossible to over-rehearse.

Avoid preparing more material than will fit in your allotted time. This will keep you from rushing, running out of time and missing key points, or running over. Rule of thumb: for every hour, prepare 40 minutes of material. This allows time for interaction and discussion. Speakers prepare excess material hoping to leave no time for fielding dreaded questions; don’t make this mistake. Embrace questions: audience participation brings presentations to life. Afraid of being stumped? Simply say, “Great question. I don’t have the answer, but I’ll get back to you stat, later, after I’ve done some digging.”

Arrange for U-shaped audience seating, facing you. This allows listeners to see, in their peripheral vision, others who are laughing, nodding, or even standing to applaud; these exuberant displays are infectious, so setting up chairs in this way sets you up for contagious enthusiasm.

Get your hands on the list of attendees and email them beforehand, or pop by their office, or ask at the coffee bar: “What burning question would you like to have addressed?” This gets buy in, plus attendees will feel that you’ve custom-tailored your talk to their needs.

Enlist plants: prevail upon trusted colleagues to ask questions at designated times, including when you ask, “Any questions?”, and no one speaks up. This will get the Q & A rolling and eliminate uncomfortable silences.

Something embarrassing happens? Try, “Whoops. I have egg on my face. I hear it’s good for the complexion, but next time I’ll stick with a professional facial.” Non-defensiveness and self-deprecating humor renders you human and irresistible because people can relate to and empathize with you. They may just beg for an encore.

Note: I learned several of the tips above from my favorite professional speaking mentor, Tom Antion. Since I first took his in-depth audio and video course five years ago, I was hooked. I now build in time – no matter what – for a refresher repeat before each and every keynote or presentation I deliver. Being a student of Tom’s advice has made all the difference in my success as a keynote speaker. I can’t say enough great things about his gold-standard speaking strategies and I highly recommend that you, too, take the time to read about his course offerings. What Tom offers isn’t an easy sort-cut: it takes time and hard work. But work his program and you will emerge as a confident, powerful speaker who knows how to fill a room and how to deliver a moving, powerful message. And there’s no better feeling than knowing that you’ve inspired others to go out and make a difference. The world deserves to hear from us.