Divorce Busting

Amen to that!

Thanks for the comments. Don't give up hope. So many marriages can heal. I work with couples every day who have very challenging problems but they manage to turn things around with help. Get help.

There is a huge difference between someone getting a divorce because her husband is a drunk who beats her, and someone getting a divorce because she has to much pride to admit she was wrong, or that she made a mistake. Often times people would rather end their marriage than do what it takes to fix the situation simply because fixing things means they would have to exercise some humility.

Brendan that is so true...we live in such a disposable society...I have a loved one going through that very same senario , so painful. ... PRIDE...it can take down a marriage...a church..a country...

Suzanne, thanks for sharing. Research says that marital satisfaction goes down with the birth of each child. So, your story makes complete sense. Congrats on hanging in there and for celebrating your 25th.

Wow! That`s interesting! Only three more years to go then...Though my husband may even argue with that!

Mathew is right about having ability to work on your marriage. Divorce is hell. Often times the one wanting out is the one who continually expects the most & gives the least. An unforgiving heart towards your spouse DOES NOT make anyone grow as a human being. This isn't a piece of paper! Marriage is a covenant vow we make before God only He can ... See Morebreak it & He won't! God said the two are one flesh only death can tear apart. I certainly don't want to go from God! Affairs that often break up marriages are cowardice ways out & they are outright filthy lies. Alcoholism, & other addictions are devastating to live with, but didn't we all say better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness or health, till DEATH do us part. I bet nobody says until I get bored, or change my mind, or find someone prettier, younger, thinner, richer, etc..... Everyone is flawed. Doesn't even the golden rule say do unto others as you would have them do unto you, not do under others as they do to you or worse? This society has become a bunch of instantly gratified, spoiled, narcissistic, ungrateful, unforgiving people who demand perfection that they can't give that desired perfection to another in return. People want it all & yesterday. We want love, respect & forgiveness, but how much of those things are each of us willing to give. Truly, love, happiness, forgiveness & such are all choices. Change begins with each of us individually & we are each responsible for our own responses. Nobody makes another cheat, lie, deceive, hate, mistreat, become addicted, etc....Even if you are a hurt spouse, you can fight for & stand for your marriage & family. This trend, this curse needs to be stopped. It really is equal to child abuse & all forms of abuse need to be broken. Ask someone whose spouse stood by them through thick & thin & they'll tell you how grateful they are, then imagine you were lost & messed up & someone chose to stand by you, love you & forgive you. Wouldn't that make life better for all of us. These are difficult things to do, but not for the mighty God I serve. Nothing is impossible with God! I can do nothing without Him. Standing forever!
Lisa

I love what you said about wait five years and think about it!!! Too many people only think about ending it. I have been through so much in my marriage,but we both know it is forever no matter what!! I don't always love my husband but I have respect for him:) God tells us to love one another. If you can't respect or love your spouce then who can you?

This is so unfortunate. Erecitle dysfunction is a very common problem that can be resolved with help. I am sorry that you have been suffering with this, but you and your husband should go to a sex therapist. There are specific techniques you both can learn to break out the cycle of guilt, blame, and so on. YOu deserve a better sexual and emotional relationships. Take action now!!

What if you are separted and you don't see eachother everyday? I am trying to give him his space... but I want to have some sort of connection.

Body contact is much better

Brandi, if you are separated, clearly, you need to focus on other things right now. Please read Divorce Remedy to get some ideas about what you can do to both give your husband space and at the same time, help him to notice your willingness to change. Even if you don't get the book, read the first chapter (it's free) on www.divorcebusting.com Hang in there.

You are so right. Here in Beijing, there are many relationship destroyed by this and in counseling, we see this so many times from both ends. Keep up the great work. Mark

Thanks for the comments. Remember, everyone, it's not about who is right and who is wrong. It's about being happy and feeling love. So, show love and you will be happier and most likely, get love in return.

Debbie, if you need to do it desperately, DO IT!!! Don't wait a minute longer. Most of the couples I see have marriages that have been put on the back burner. If you want to avoid becoming a Divorce Busting client, make a date now!!

Kirsten, Don't worry about who makes the date. You can tell him that you would love it if he planned something special to do, but if he doesn't, YOU DO IT!! Some things in life are less important than others. The most important thing is that you are together. I know you want to feel loved, I get it. But schedule time together and enjoy each other's company and maybe he will eventually come around. Do it in the mean time.