The Slanch Report

During a Croatian Premier League soccer match goalie Ivan Banovic almost cost his team the game for being an animal lover. A stray cat had run onto the field, and so Banovic ran over to it, picked it up and carried it off the field to safety. The referee was furious with his actions and gave Bano...

I’m not surprised that Eddy Curry got violent during his return to action for the Knicks, I’m just thankful that he didn’t eat Rajon Rondo in addition to punching him in the back of the head. To be fair, clearly Rondo deserved this, I mean, how DARE he try for a rebound. That&#8...

Chad Ochocinco is an endless publicity whore, but when, in seeking said publicity he’s hilarious I have no problem showcasing him. If you watched this season of HBO’s Hard Knocks, you probably remember Ochocinco talking about how he was going to be coming out with his own brand of con...

When we last heard about Mariana Kovacevic, the Serbian housewife/healer was treating Arsenal’s Robin Van Persie’s (right) injured ankle with a special massage using baby placenta. Today the Serbian health authorities are looking for the one-time pharmacology doctor turned physiothera...

With just over a minute remaining in Eagles/Bears game Sunday, Bears QB Jay Cutler reached back and fired off a pass to Devin Hester in an effort to gain the crucial first down. The defense was all over Hester and he wasn’t able to corral the ball.As a personal homage to the success of Twil...

Fresh after their heart-breaking, and illegitimate, loss to the French for World Cup qualifying, many Irish citizens are casting about for things to blame. Case in point, Henry brand vacuum cleaners.Some custodians at an Irish government building told their supervisors that “they’re u...

There’s quite a controversy brewing down in Dallas over the Cowboys’ new stadium; while it features all the high-tech amenities fans could want, the lack of a flagpole apparently is rankling some folks.According to team owner Jerry Jones, “Our stadium is so huge that you really ...

Eric Wood was starting at right guard for the Buffalo Bills on Sunday, he’s been one of their better linemen all season, his season though is over after suffering a BRUTAL ankle injury. If you like to see sickening injuries, then click this video, if not, I’m sure cuteoverload has som...

The #1 pick in the NHL draft in 2008, Tampa Bay’s Steve Stamkos has a much more important place in the world; I recently picked him up for my fantasy hockey team where he’s been playing like gangbusters. Case in point, this super sweet goal he scored last night. It’s contributio...

Not content with Journey’s  Steve Perry providing music for the Dodgers, Rush drummer Neil Peart has been hired by TSN to record a new version of the Hockey Theme for their NHL broadcasts.The press release, which calls Peart “the world’s most accomplished and most-respected drum...

Anaheim (Mighty) Duck Scott Niedermeyer generously skated over to the fans and gave away his stick the other night, tossing it over the boards. Showing true fellowship for their fellow man, it led to a fight between two Ducks fans jousting one another for the memento. Now you can enjoy making fun...

Perry Fewell, the interim Buffalo Bills head coach shows his team the 10 commandments he has received from high above.I am the Head CoachThou Shall have no other coach but I; because no one else would ever want this miserable job. You shall not worship any former Pro Bowlers (Terrell Owens) whose...

It took 23 years before the first NFL team went undefeated; the nascent and unwatched UFL has had their first undefeated team in year one as SOMEHOW the Florida Tuskers managed to stay focused with all the thousands of reporters following the team. The Tuskers enter the playoffs 6-0 after two suc...

They take cricket very seriously in Pakistan and the members of the Pakistan Cricket Board are very unhappy with Shoaib Akhtar, once one of the top players in the country. In recent months Akhtar had become rather rotund, so much so that he opted for liposuction as a means of getting back into sl...

While I think we can all agree that having Oasis’ Wonderwall playing is not ideal, this clip of a guy throwing a Frisbee off a mountain is pretty awesome. That thing goes FAR! How pissed are you though if you shank that toss? You gotta bring a couple backup ‘bees just in case right?Po...

The Lingerie Football League’s Miami Caliente are HOT, second in their division with a 2-1 record they are fresh off an absolute spanking of the New York Majesty 49-7. Talk about domination![UPI]Posted in Awesome, Football, Hot Women Tagged: Lingerie Football League, Miami Caliente, New Yor...

In the waning seconds of the first half in Wednesday’s Celtics/Warriors game Kevin Garnett grabbed a rebound and, after a nifty spin move, launched up a 75-footer. The ball was definitely still in his hands when time expired and the refs rightly waved off the basket, but that doesn’t ...

On Wednesday the French national soccer team squared off against the Irish squad in a final World Cup qualifier, at the end of the game the French had taken a highly controversial victory. It all stems from French star striker Thierry Henry’s two accidental hand-balls which enabled him to c...

Toronto Maple Leaf winger Colton Orr loves to fight, when he’s on the ice you can guarantee someone is going to get hit, and if any of his teammates needs a hand, Orr is ever-ready to throw off his gloves and mix it up. This season he already has 7 fights notched on his belt and has 59 pena...

With his 5th championship wrapped up, Derek Jeter jetted off to St. Barts for a deserved vacation; while he should have traveled alone, he opted instead to bring his girlfriend, Minka Kelly with him as well. Doesn’t he know that she is supposed to be with me and not him?The two haven’...

This female West Virginia fan looks like she packed a few too many away during the tailgating and now, as the Mountaineers take on Cincinnati on the field she starts throwing some game at a fat middle-aged dude. Looks like someone is suffering from Fat-Father Syndrome!Posted in College, Football ...

I love crowd shots where you see unhappy fans; providing of course that I am not rooting for one of those sad-inducing teams. Here is an especially displeased University of South Carolina fan putting the cock in Game Cocks as a slew of Florida fans around him celebrate.Posted in College, Douches,...

One summer at camp we were playing dodgeball, campers vs. counselors; it being a sports camp nearly everyone was very athletic– or at least as athletic as teenage Jews can be (with me as an obvious exception) – especially the counselors. With great glee I ran towards a loose ball anxi...

That’s what she said. The horse! I want to put my money down for a night of fun with her. Posted in Awesome, Baseball Tagged: Horse Racing, That's Whatshesaid

In a stunning near-unanimous voice, the BBWAA actually looked past win totals in order to award the AL Cy Young to the rightful winner, Zack Greinke. The 26-year-old ace, who briefly left the Kansas City Royals several years ago after battling Social Anxiety Disorder was absolutely the best pitch...

One second Stuart Tinner was sitting in the stands watching the St. Albans, UK-based Saracens rugby club against South Africa at London’s famed Wembley Stadium, and the next he’s won $420,000 and everything in his life changes.The 24-year-old who plays a bit of rugby for a local club ...

Sammy Sosa has no sense of humor; or at least that’s what Enrique Santos — a radio DJ and the self-declared King of All Spanglish Media — claims after he was unceremoniously banned from Sosa’s birthday party before he even made it through the doors for showing up in brown-...

Henrik Andersen was excited, he’d just scored his first goal of the season for his Swedish hockey team, Leksand, and so he jumped with joy. Unluckily for him, his jump took him against the boards and the forward hit a piece of the glass that was loose and POOF, like that, he’s gone!He...