Really Bad Parenting Advice

Really Bad Parenting Advice Just thought we'd remind everyone about a cardinal rule that turns out to be #19 on our list. Let the alienation begin...

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No other occasion gives you a better opportunity to evenly and fairly distribute praise and expensive gifts to your children than Christmas.
Really Bad Parenting Advice
Really Bad Parenting Advice
Jessica, ah but the sewing machine for children is perfect for cheap labor: http://is.gd/5s2aB
Thu at 8:11pm
Jessica
Jessica
But but it was a double whammy... Sewing machine boxes when wrapped up appear very very similar to computers... >_<
Yesterday at 12:47am
Really Bad Parenting Advice

Really Bad Parenting Advice Because no one else believes you...or cares...

www.reallybadparentingadvice.com
They’ll never know that you never amounted to shit. Feed that naivety with pure lies.
Really Bad Parenting Advice
Really Bad Parenting Advice
Patrick, do your children still think you own the Washington Capitals? By the way, can you get me seats (preferably against the glass) for this weekend's game?

April, it's good to know you share the I'm-better-than-other-parents-out-there philosophy. Sow those seeds of superiority early, we say...
December 15 at 7:40pm
Mark Torosian
Mark Torosian
...and you always thought I'd be nothing more then a boil infested gadfly who has nothing better to do then prowl Facebook.
Wed at 3:42am
Rich

Rich Kids today are too stressed. That's why it's important to teach coping skills early - like drinking themselves to sleep.

November 19 at 4:59pm · Report
Really Bad Parenting Advice

Really Bad Parenting Advice Tattoos for tots...

www.reallybadparentingadvice.com
Help set your kid apart by tattooing them early and often.
Rich
Rich
I try to pick tattoos that grow with her. The little spider web she has at 3 will be awesome by 34.
November 19 at 4:52pm
Jessica
Jessica
rehab is an important cultural and potentiallly religious (definitely social) learning centre. I hope you took your kids to rehab. On that note, anyone seen Tideland? It's also important for kids to know how to cook Daddy's crack...
November 24 at 3:13pm
Really Bad Parenting Advice

Really Bad Parenting Advice Reading is for nerds...

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Reading is just a bunch of words and stories that aren’t nearly as interesting as the shit going down in your neighborhood or on TV.
Really Bad Parenting Advice
Really Bad Parenting Advice
Wish we could blame it on something interesting and worthwhile like a healthy binge drinking episode or an encounter with peyote...but alas, it was pure laziness. Thanks for evening noticing, though, you may have saved me the cost of an additional therapy session.
November 17 at 8:15pm
Rich
Rich
Reading is a great big waste of time. Any book worth knowing about will be condensed to a 90-minute movie, saving hours of reading time. Thanks, Hollywood!
November 19 at 4:56pm
Really Bad Parenting Advice

Really Bad Parenting Advice Now that's what I call a nutritionally balanced meal...

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Smoking—particularly childhood puffing—is as American as tire slashing, random bullying and trespassing.
Rich
Rich
It helps kids stem the withdrawal between the second-hand smoke they get before and after school.
September 28 at 5:44pm
Really Bad Parenting Advice
Really Bad Parenting Advice
Rich, you're right dude. You don't want them pulling a Trainspotting in 4th period math class. Things would get messy.
October 6 at 6:10am
Karen Ryan Shaffer

Karen Ryan Shaffer Have you done an article on tattooing you five year old? I see a lot of potential there...

September 11 at 1:17pm · Report
Really Bad Parenting Advice
Really Bad Parenting Advice
I think that's pretty brilliant. That's next on the list, you know, after this bout of lethargy dissipates.
September 21 at 10:19am
Really Bad Parenting Advice
Really Bad Parenting Advice
Check the latest - and thanks for the inspiration!
November 19 at 7:52am
Karen Ryan Shaffer
Karen Ryan Shaffer
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/album.php?aid=2035173&id=1442433726

This is what inspired me..hope you can see it. It's hilarious!
November 21 at 6:08am
Really Bad Parenting Advice

Really Bad Parenting Advice What's the best advice you could give to a new parent? (Besides anything that rhymes with "fahdoption")

August 29 at 10:28am
Jessica
Jessica
Send your weakling six year old out to walk your badly trained rottweiller in public, alone. With no muzzle. The dog will feed itself on small animals such as neighbourhood cats, and with a bit of luck, your kid will get eaten too. Two birds with one stone.
August 29 at 3:59pm
Rich
Rich
The best way to save for your kid's college is to start suing. Coffee too hot? Sue. Neighbors too loud? Sue. Laundromat not have your shirt pressed AT 5:00? Sue. Checkout girl at the grovery store tell you to "have a blessed day" and you felt religiously persecuted? Sue! Just remember, it's not frivolous - it's your child's future!
August 29 at 9:35pm
Really Bad Parenting Advice
www.babble.com
Since everyone's been buzzing about bad mothers lately, and this is, after all, the weekend for the best (and worst) of them, we dedicate this week's edition of What They're Babbling About to being bad (and loving it).
Really Bad Parenting Advice

Really Bad Parenting Advice It's a cheap vacation and it just might "un"spoil your child. (Inspired by one of our readers...)

www.reallybadparentingadvice.com
He’s got an iPod, a television in his room – which he shares with no one – and you even let him have his own seat at your dining room table.
Kevin
Kevin
hahaha jersey shore
July 22 at 7:53pm
Really Bad Parenting Advice
Really Bad Parenting Advice
Damn, you guys are brutal. But I like it.
July 24 at 3:38pm
Really Bad Parenting Advice

Really Bad Parenting Advice If looks could kill, your baby would squeeze the life out of people like Bernie Madoff:

www.reallybadparentingadvice.com
Your baby is an impish, miniature troll, who’s mere appearance can devastate aspiring Miss America contestants into never doing a pageant again.
Mark Torosian
Mark Torosian
well worth the wait.
July 18 at 6:49am
Rich
Rich
In my years working at Gymboree, I found parents with the ugliest kids are the ones that spent the most money on them. So... how much do you spend on your kid?
July 18 at 8:01am
Really Bad Parenting Advice

Really Bad Parenting Advice TO make it look like we've been chugging right along, we figured posting a link to where someone else mentioned us would pull the wool over everyone's eyes...

girlgetstrong.com
Before you go on that super duper scary roller coaster with the kids, check out these great posts! Rule 52: Give your child false hope by Really Bad
Jermaine
Jermaine
I'm sorry but this is too funny...baby girl is scared to death..lol
August 28 at 8:29am
Really Bad Parenting Advice

Really Bad Parenting Advice Life is like a google search, you never know what you're gonna get.

applescorneroftheorchard.blogspot.com
This is where I start a new tradition: posting the random search engine stuff that pops up when I do a legit search for something totally unrelated.Really Bad Parenting Advice! The bully post had me in stitches!Update: It occurs to me that my parents were so far ahead of this curve! ...
Ken Crandall
Ken Crandall
Dude, you have GOT to write some new stuff. I've totally mastered everything on the site and I need new ways to keep the future therapists of the world in business.
July 17 at 9:04am
Really Bad Parenting Advice
Really Bad Parenting Advice
Hibernation/hiatus/hangover is officially over. Besides, finishing with rule #57 would have just been weird. Thanks for the love, man. There's nothing wrong with us sharing this moment. Publicly.
July 18 at 3:51am
Jackie

Jackie Haven't gotten any updates lately! I've missed them :)

July 14 at 6:51am · Report
Really Bad Parenting Advice
Really Bad Parenting Advice
Since the kids have off for the summer - why can't we?? Only kidding - we're working on some new ideas (and are ALWAYS looking for suggestions). And congratulations on being the only one who's noticed we haven't posted in a month or so!
July 16 at 4:14am
Karen Ryan Shaffer
Karen Ryan Shaffer
I noticed too! But I put enough pressure on myself to post more often, so no need to do it to someone else. Looking forward to your next evil post.
July 17 at 12:47pm
Really Bad Parenting Advice

Really Bad Parenting Advice Because it's hard to do alone...

www.reallybadparentingadvice.com
You may be a hideous, bubbling stew of insecurity. But damn, look how cute your kid is. Brace for incoming flirting.