Dan Mulhern

Dan,

Your column is a worthy and uplifting essay. I like the thought of "dreaming the dream" and then, making it come true. However, I am daily reminded of an old saying: "When you are up to your a$$ in alligators, it is hard to remember that the original intent was to drain the swamp."

Maybe it was fear and/or lack of courage, but I always found that my dreams took a back seat to putting food on the table, shoes on the kids, and a roof over our heads. It would seem that humans also have the capacity to abandon worthy, festive, expansive, and delicious plans to accommodate the equally worthy, but substantially less festive, more restrained, and hard to swallow facts of life. Perhaps the true heroes are those whose reality checks do not destroy their dreams and their vision, but perhaps temper them with repeated doses of humility and selflessness. After all, humility is not thinking less of oneself, but thinking of oneself less.... Read More

Julia Cameron sounds like a very lucky woman, to have seldom had a delicious plan and not be given the means to accomplish it. I am put in mind of the fellow who prayed that his dream would come true and when it did not, complained to an old friend that God had not heard his prayer. His wise old friend told him that he had it wrong. It was likely that God had either denied his request or was simply asking him to wait awhile. Sometimes we are not "given" the means to accomplish our dreams, and sometimes we have to wait. It does not mean a plan is not worthy, expansive, or delicious. John Lennon said that life is what happens to us, while we are making other plans. Following a dream is a fine journey, but if you forget to feed your face, it will be a short one.

Worthiness of a dream is not dictated by whether or not the "universe" falls in line and supports it. Perhaps it is the journey that is worthy, whether or not the universe decides to help. A fine and useful education for all our children is a terrific goal, dream, and end point for our efforts. Working toward that goal is a worthy journey. That the universe, whether Republican or Democrat, currently seems hell-bent on blocking all paths to that goal, is immaterial. It is a worthy goal. I agree we should go for it. Just don't expect a deus ex machina -- just a hard climb against our own worst enemy -- us.

I applaud those who work toward that goal, for the sake of the goal and not for political or personal gain, and those who understand it is the search, the climb, the journey which constitutes a life well spent successfully. Failure to actually reach the goal at any one point in the journey is merely a snapshot of success, not an image of failure.

Your retreats sound wonderful. Fortunately, those of us on budgets still have Reading for Leading as our weekly retreat. Thanks for the thoughts.

"We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glowworm." ~Winston Churchill

Sorry, Donna. Don't know any Mitchell's in our branch of the family.

Dan,

One of my favorite quotes is from Viktor Frankl, who said: "I recommend that the Statue of Liberty be supplemented by a Statue of Responsibility on the west coast." Dr. Frankl understood the complicated relationship between freedom and responsibility. He also said: "Freedom is but the negative aspect of the whole phenomenon whose positive aspect is responsibleness. In fact, freedom is in danger of degenerating into mere arbitrariness unless it is lived in terms of responsibleness." In other words, liberty and responsibility are two sides of the same incredibly valuable coin, forever dependent upon each other and forever joined.

Louis Sullivan said: "The tragic truth is that the language of 'victimization' is the true victimizer - a great crippler of young minds and spirits. To teach young people that their lives are governed - not by their own actions, but by socioeconomic forces or government budgets or other mysterious and fiendish forces beyond their control - is to teach our children negativism, resignation, passivity, and despair." This is perhaps the true tragedy of the "they will take care of it" and "they will fix it" phenomena. It seems nearly everyone feels like a victim these days, and we have plenty of lawyers to help support that fiction. They are always on the hunt for the next legal scapegoat. As President Dwight D. Eisenhower said: "The search for a scapegoat is the easiest of all hunting expeditions."... Read More

As you said, the idea that we can hire, elect, or pledge to any kind of superhero who will "fix it" is absurd. It is building a castle of dreams on a foundation of false hope. The tools to fix the future are in our own hands and the magic is in our own hearts.

I will finish with a lesson I learned while endeavoring to "fix" the 135+ year old house we live in: You can't do it overnight, and you can't do it all at once. It will take time, funds, and lots of hard work.

My father gave me my first advice -- the core values of my life. He gave me three rules: 1. If I truly believe I am right, I should stand my ground and never give up. 2. Take responsibility to defend/support my family and clean up my own messes. 3. Never compromise my integrity, for once lost, it is lost forever. He never mentioned having fun -- I figured out that part on my own...

My grandfather said, "A man is only as good as his word." Integrity matters.

Was at the MAC listening to your show and not in a position to comment today.

Best advice? Early on in my career I was in what amounted to an argument with my boss. Something had gone wrong (cannot remember what) and I wanted him to know that while I may have contributed to it, that I was not solely to blame. Neither of us was going to succeed in convincing the other.

Finally he said the best thing I could do in this situation was to accept responsibility regardless of whether other factors contributed, declare what I learned from it, and move on. ... Read More
Immediately, the argument was over and the emotion was gone. we could go back to work.

I learned that there's no shame in making or admitting a mistake and that in fact it's a hallmark of a great leader to learn from it. Have passed on this advice hundreds of times.

Great Post. Thanks for framing it this way

For some, like me, 2009 has been a year of goodbyes. I thought George Harrison said it well, “Sunrise doesn’t last all morning, a cloudburst doesn’t last all day, seems my love is up and has left you with no warning. It’s not always going to be this grey. All things must pass, all things must pass away.” We are ephemeral creatures and our thoughts, actions, and works (good and bad) are those things which may outlive us.

There is great wisdom in letting go of what does not work, what does not help us, and what only causes pain. For example, it has been difficult to let go of the anger that comes from the loss of a job. Releasing old resentments and burying old and failed ideas can free up the path ahead, removing unhelpful obstacles. It is difficult to lead others along a challenging path with tears in your eyes.

But there is also danger in letting go. Sometimes, when we let go, we forget — and there are costly and painful lessons in my recent past that it would be ridiculous to forget. They were learned at too high a price. George Santayana said, “Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” Most are familiar with that quote, but I tend to favor this one by H. G. Wells: “History is a race between education and catastrophe.”... Read More

Adieu, adios, arrivederci, auf wiedersehen, au revoir — and goodbye, all contain the central thought of “God go with you,” and the hope of remembrance. By all means, let go of failed ideas and foolish mistakes. Do not forget them. If we wonder about the potential dangers in forgetting the past, perhaps we could remember the words of Henry Ford: “History is more or less bunk.”

Thank you Mick!

Standin' at the crossroads, tried to flag a ride
Whee-ee, tried to flag a ride
Didn't nobody seem to know me, everybody pass me by -Robert Johnson

Ken,
I won't worry any longer about you. But I will invite you to enlarge your worldview. You will have more female bosses, neighbors, business associates than men. And your attitudes are way out of touch with this world - not just the views of men, but of nearly every man I know in a leadership positions. Seems to me you're closing yourself off ... Read Moreto great value that people bring.
As to facts, your personal impressions simply don't jive. Read the Shriver Report: 77% of women and 75% of men view women's rise as positive. All those men are secretly thinking the opposite? That's improbable to say the least!
Dan

money is not my main concern Dan Mulhern.. i like saying your whole name. truth is truth and i speak to alot of men and women on this matter. this is about the long-term affect on children and society. we have seen the effects of single parenthood, but i guess humans are slow to learn that messing with Gods plan is a path to disaster. we live in a... Read More christian nation that does not believe in christianity. do we not learn anything from adam and eves story, samson and delielah, sololon, or abrahams? i guess if you're agnositc this does not matter.