The Dolls House Emporium

We have noticed over the past few months that our miniatures are being used in some unusual places, such as fashion shoots in magazines. Because of this we sent our latest catalogue, together with a letter, to a number of Creative Directors at advertising agencies across the country with the aim of encouraging them to use their imaginations and our miniatures. On the whole the response was positive, but there was one letter that really stood out (and put a smile on everyone’s face, so thank you Mr Mackintosh!):

We obviously couldn’t leave Mr Mackintosh in such a quandary, so our Managing Director, Jackie Lee, sent the following letter, which has hopefully put his mind at rest:

Dear Mr Mackintosh,

Thank you for taking the time to peruse our new September catalogue. I’m sorry that the catalogue failed to provide all the information you require but I will attempt to answer your questions as best I can:

a) Unfortunately, due to a dispute with our TNT supplier, we are currently unable to pre-explode items for you. We are also unable to provide dismembered figurines, although you are welcome to purchase whole figurines and dismember them yourself. However, if this is how you enjoy spending your time then perhaps counselling would be a more prudent investment?

b) Sadly our miniature food is not edible and will not contribute towards your ‘5 a day’. Having said this, they may still contain more nutritional value than a pot noodle.

c) The Dolls house Emporium dolls are shy folk, unlikely to reveal their ‘wares’ on a first date. As such you may have to wine and dine the ‘Gentlemen and Servants’ a little before finding out the answer to this question. If you do require dolls specifically for nude scenes then please provide further details and measurements of your requirements and we will try to accommodate you. Please be aware that our dolls are modelled in a 1:12 scale and try not to be offended at the results.

d) We are unable to provide a plumbing service as part of the delivery, but your local directory will have many numbers for local plumbers in your area. As our houses are built to a 1:12 scale you should be able to successfully haggle them down to 1:12 of the price.

e) I am surprised at your request for an alternative installation technician as ‘Miriam’ is the poster-girl for our company and has wowed many a customer with her charm and wit. However, if you require an alternative we can dispatch your purchases with ‘Malcolm’; an ex-west-end actor who loves to get into character by dressing as a postal worker and pretending he’s only responsible for the delivery, not the installation, of your items.

f) Unfortunately our ‘astronaut range’ was removed from our catalogue in the wake of allegations from conspiracy theorists surrounding their use as props for NASA’s Apollo project. Due to legal reasons we are unable to comment further.

g) Mr Douglas is an emotive person and is certainly capable of an expressing a wide variety of emotions ranging from subtle contentment to mild indignation. He is, however, well renowned for his ‘poker face’ so your guess is as good as ours.

h) To be frank, we aren’t 100% sure how the stag came to be in this picture. We believe that it was simply running too fast and just happened to crash through the wall at the instant the photograph was taken. Post-photoshoot examination revealed no trace of the stag’s whereabouts so we can only assume that he extracted himself successfully and without harm.

i) Traditional 5-pin tumbler locks are installed on all outer doors. However due to the friendly nature of the inhabitants and a strict neighbourhood watch scheme these are rarely employed by the residents.

I hope I have been able to answer your questions to your satisfaction, if you have any further queries please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours sincerely,

Jackie Lee

Managing Director

Related posts:

1. Ask Jackie
2. Good Dolly Miss Molly!
3. Whoopsie!

At long last the bugs have been fixed and we can post pictures again! Thank you to the IT team. So we’re not wasting any time and bringing you some creative competition pictures straight away.

Patsy McMahon created this delightful hat shop. Here’s her story.

My inspiration came from my Nan – Harriet. She always said she would love to work in a hat shop. So 50 years on I have made her own to be proud of! Harriet is standing behind the counter waiting for the first customer of the day. Her hat is on the chair at the front of the shop. I made the kit up, painted the walls to look “distressed” and used the stencil paints elsewhere. The mats are made of felt and the letters are individual transfers. Some of the hats were gifts some home made. The curtains are made from linen and trimmed with lace and the Victorian lace was used on the main window. I used kebab sticks for the curtain poles. For the pots on the outside I used card craft.

Related posts:

1. Blog Pictures
2. Shabby Chic!
3. Creative Competition 2009 – Tanzanian Dreams

Congratulations to Joe Carlton of Nottingham who spotted The Classical Dolls’ House on BBC’s To Buy or Not to Buy. £50 has been credited to your account Joe!

Remember that this competition never closes, we want to hear about all The Dolls House Emporium dolls’ houses you’ve spotted in unexpected places. Here’s what you could win;

Spotted in an estate agent window = £20 Gift Voucher for The Dolls House Emporium

Advert in Print* = £25 Gift Voucher for The Dolls House Emporium

Television advert/Magazine shoot = £50 Gift Voucher for The Dolls House Emporium

We will need evidence! So if it’s a billboard, take a picture and email it or post it to us, if it’s a TV advert you may be able to find a link to it on this website http://www.tellyads.com/ and then send us the link. Television show? Send us a link to the show so we can find the dolls’ house. If it’s a printed advert, cut it out and send it to us! You could win £50 to spend at your favourite dolls’ house and miniatures supplier.

Get spotting and good luck!

*Does not include a Dolls House Emporium advert – we’re looking for the unexpected places!

1. Prize is for the first person to spot one of our houses and contact us.
2. Employees of The Dolls House Emporium, those involved in the promotion and execution of this competition and their families are not eligible to enter.
3. The Dolls House Emporium reserves the right to feature the winner on other printed matter or website, and to feature name and home county of winner in future promotions.
4. Entry into the competition is deemed acceptance of the rules.
5. No responsibility can be accepted for entries which are not received or delayed.

Related posts:

1. As Seen on Screen Update
2. As Seen On Screen
3. As Seen On Screen