I, Alice Johnson, have experienced, first-hand, the horror that is Timmy Gordon. Let this be a warning to everyone. THIS is the 'real' Timmy Gordon...

Timmy cheats at Tic-Tac-Toe.
Timmy throws like a girl.
Timmy hates little kids, dogs and old people.
Timmy cries during Lassie.
Timmy eats yellow snow.
Timmy cries over spilled milk.
Timmy prefers the metric system.
Timmy breastfed until he was 13.
Timmy likes interpretive dance.
Timmy rarely bathes.
Timmy is a vegetarian.
Timmy is worried about the "military-industrial" complex.
Timmy can't wait for the dawning of the age of Aquarius.
Timmy thinks hard work is for suckers.
Timmy can't tell time.
Timmy thinks Errol Flynn is dreamy.
Timmy buys things not made in the USA.
Timmy pees sitting down.
Timmy breathes through his mouth.
Timmy wants to live in the south of France.
Timmy has never heard of Google.
Timmy calls hot dogs frankfurters.
Timmy eats tofu.
Timmy needs to diet.
Timmy practices making out with his hand.
Timmy has a pet turtle named Shelly.
Timmy wets the bed.
Timmy is too scared to watch The Wizard Of Oz.
Timmy talks to his mom on the phone 3 hours a day.
Timmy watches the radio and listens to TV.
Timmy never brushes his teeth.
Timmy uses medicated deodorant.
Timmy fears commitment.
Timmy gives himself dutch ovens.
Timmy drinks paint thinner.
Timmy goes to bed at 7:30.
Timmy stole the Lindbergh baby.
Timmy is a COMMUNIST!
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I, Alice Johnson, have experienced, first-hand, the horror that is Timmy Gordon. Let this be a warning to everyone. THIS is the 'real' Timmy Gordon...

Timmy cheats at Tic-Tac-Toe.
Timmy throws like a girl.
Timmy hates little kids, dogs and old people.
Timmy cries during Lassie.
Timmy eats yellow snow.
Timmy cries over spilled milk.
Timmy prefers the metric system.
Timmy breastfed until he was 13.
Timmy likes interpretive dance.
Timmy rarely bathes.
Timmy is a vegetarian.
Timmy is worried about... (read more)