These are some bad pickup lines that magical folk, especially those at Hogwarts might use:
aka: Harry Potter Pick-Up Lines
We may not be in Professor Flitwick's class, but you still are charming.
I don't have an invisibility cloak but do you think tonight I can visit your restricted section?
I want to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets.
My love for you burns like a dying phoenix.
You know, Hagrid's not the only giant on campus.
Do you think you could take on a mountain troll in the bathroom like Hermione did? Would you be ready in five minutes?
Wanna make some magic together? My wand is at the ready.
If you were a quaffle and I was a chaser during a quidditch match, I'd score with you.
I must have had some Felix Felicis because I think I'm about to get lucky.
Without you I feel like I'm in Azkaban and dementors are sucking away my soul.
You know, the Sorting Hat placed me in Gryffindor. I think it's because like Godric Gryffindor himself, I too have an impressive sword.
Want to go to the Hog's Head, if you know what I mean?
Being without you is like being under the Cruciatus Curse.
Want to have a Tri-Wizards Tournament? Well not really "Tri-Wizard," I was thinking more one wizard and two witches.
I've been whomping my willow thinking about you.
If I was to look into the Mirror of Erised, I would see the two of us together.
Do you know the Petrificus Totalus spell? Because you make me stiff.
I'm not an Animagus but sometimes I can be real animal.
How 'bout you and me go look for the Room of Requirement?
You know Platform 9 and 3/4? Well I know something else with the same exact measurements.
A couple nights with me and Moaning Myrtle will have to get a new nickname.
What do you say we disapparate out of here.
Wanna practice making what looks like a mandrake.
More submissions:
- You look like you'd be a good Quidditch player. Want to ride my broomstick?
- You know, when I said, "Accio hottie," I didn't expect it to work!
- I know my name's not Luna, but I sure know how to Lovegood if you know what I mean.
- If I try hard enough, I can get a really big patronus. All I have to do is think of happy things.
or
- If I were going to produce a patronus, you'd be my happy thought.
- Will you be my horcrux tonight, so l can give a piece of my soul to you?
- I know you want me to manage your mischief!
- You must not be a muggle, because you cast a spell on me.
or
- You must be magical because I've fallen under your spell.
- Want to head to the Shrieking Shack? We could do some shrieking of our own.
- You don't need defense against my dark arts.
- Are you using the Confundus charm or are you just naturally mind blowing?
- The thought of you makes something vast and silver erupt from my wand.
- I must need Occlumency, because I can't get you out of my thoughts.
- I might as well be under the Imperius curse, because I'd do anything for you.
- (for the females) Is that a wand in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
- If I were a Seeker and you were a Snitch, would you let me catch you?
- I don't have any muggle money, but I do have a sickle and two knuts.
- Are you a bogart? 'Cause I have a fear of hot girls.
- After a romantic night with me, you are going to need a timeturner because you are going to want to experience it again and again.
- Are you speaking parseltongue? 'Cause you're talking to my snake.
- Your smile's like expelliarmus: simple but disarming.
- They say I'm like the horn of a crumple-horned snorkack. Explosive.
- What's the password to your portrait?
- My heart's splinched without you.
- Yeah, I've got a pretty good batch of polyjuice going, wanna taste?
- I'm goblin. Let me stroke your vault.
- You're like a bottle of Skele-Gro: growing me a bone.
- Why dont i make like Salazar and Slyther inside of you?
- Your name must be Severus Severus 'cause you make my prince full blood.
- Did you survive Avada Kedavra? 'Cause you're drop dead gorgeous.
- What flavor are your Bertie Bott's? (???????????????)
- I can be your house elf. I'll do whatever you want and I don't need any clothes.
- I need a pensieve because my head is filled with thoughts about you.
- How do I get into your Department of Mysteries?
- Why don't you come tame my dragon?
- Just like the Slytherin common room, how 'bout my snake in your dungeons?
- I don't know a thing about Merlin's pants, but I'd love to get into yours!
- Wanna play with my Sorcerer's Stones?
- You don't have to worry about me, I've been tested for Hogwarts, if you know what I mean.
- If you were a basilisk, I wouldnt mind dying just to look into your eyes.
- Are you a dementor? Because you send chills up my spine.
- I'm just like Oliver Wood, baby... I'm a keeper!
or
- You might be a *insert quidditch position here* but I think you're a keeper. (Take your pick.)
- Engorgio! Oh wait I don't need magic to enlarge this!
- Firenze and I have a lot in common, we both have parts like a horse.
- My name isn't Neville, but i do have a longbottom. (I just thought this one was ridiculous which made it funny.)
- Did you say "Wingardium Leviosa"? Cause you've got me rising, baby.
- So your the Head Girl of your house, huh? hmm.....
- Cho Chang? More like Cha-Ching! Cause I just hit the jackpot.
- Oh, no everything’s cool. I got the Fiendfyre treatment, no more crabbes.
- Could I borrow your wand? I need to practice my 'swish and flick.'
- Are you a dementor? Because you just took my breath away.
- Yeah girls call me "Aguamenti." Everytime they hear my name, they get wet.
- It's a portkey.... once you touch it, it will take you somewhere you ain't never been before.
- I solemnly swear I am up to no good...
- Want to learn to speak troll? I can get you grunting in no time.
- Would you like a butterbeer? It's a portkey. Next thing you know we'll be back at my place.
- I don't need the mirror of Erised to know that you're everything I desire. (similar to a previous line, but better I think.)
- I'm like the spine on a care of magical creatures book; if you stroke me right i'll open wide for you. (Pretty much a witch's line)
- You know...I have been mistaken for a centaur before. (similar to a previous line, and a bit
- Did you just cast a spell on me baby? 'cuz I'm feeling an engorgio charm coming on.
- I know you're taken, but if I had a time-turner, you'd be mine. (How 'bout that one, huh?)
- Is your name "Avada Kedvra"? 'Cause you've got a killer bod.
- The sorting hat says you should be in my house...wait ...whats that...it also says you should be in my bed.
- Did you use Relashio? 'Cause there's sparks between us.
- Did you slip some firewhiskey into my drink, or are you just getting hotter?
- Did you cast Impervio on me? Cause when I'm near you I can't control my body.
- Not even Veritaserum could make me express how much I’m truly attracted to you.
- If you were a Dementor I would turn criminal just to get your kiss.
- Do you want my Elder Wand, because you're looking Deathly Hollow...
- You don't have to say "Luminos Maxima" to turn me on.
Feel free to contribute to the list. If you leave your pickup line on the wall, it could be added.
Also, if you know someone who would enjoy this group then please, send them an invite! (The bigger the group gets, the funnier it gets)
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