Everyone agrees that Idol is more than a bit shit this year. But that's no reason to stop watching - get yourself through the regular Sunday night trainwrecks with the (Unofficial) Official Australian Idol Drinking Game!
All you need to play is a plentiful supply of any alcohol of your choice, a tv and a group of friends (unless you're into drinking alone - we don't judge here at the (U)OAIDG!). The rules:
TAKE A SIP IF:
- Somebody sings a Stevie Wonder song
- Somebody sings a U2 song
- Somebody sings a Whitney Houston song
- Somebody sings a Xtina Aguilera song
- Somebody sings a Coldplay song
- Somebody starts their performance sitting on a stool, only to rise triumphantly at the bridge and start shuffling around the stage
- Any of these phrases are used in judgment: “split the difference”; “storyteller”; “journey”; “light and shade”; “pitchy”; "song choice"; “in the pocket” (N.B. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?)
- A performance is assessed in terms of percentages - that was only 80%, you need to be singing at 130% etc.
- Kyle makes a blunt reference to somebody's physical flaws
- Marcia speaks ghetto: you know what I'm sayin', that's what I'm talkin' about, a little bit of sumpin’ sumpin’, etc
- The crowd boos Dicko
- The crowd boos Kyle (and he tells them to shut up)
- Daniel Mifsud wears a scarf
- Reference is made to Sheridan the stylist, John Foreman, or Erana
- Marcia declares the contestant's song choice "one of her favourite songs of all time" and/or claims personal knowledge of the songwriter/s.
- Gratuitous sponsor pimpage i.e. Kyle ever-so-casually holds his Cadbury mug in front of his face, his little shark eyes staring into the camera over the rim
TAKE A GULP IF:
- Marcia is wearing a wig
- Marcia advises a male contestant to “sing to the ladies”; extra sip if said contestant is clearly a gay
- The hosts are dressed in some kind of ridiculous themed get up and look like the most adorable couple ever
- There's a period of more than three seconds where Eyeballs McBulgy (aka James) stares vacantly into the camera with a smug smile and Andrew G gazes on with barely disguised lust
- A finalist thanks god/jesus/the lord/xenu for their perfomance
- Someone forgets the words
- Marcia calls someone a nickname involving a combination of the words Baby, Sister, Brother, Girl, Girlfriend, Boy or Boyfriend (i.e. "Baby boyfriend", "Sister girl", etc - ETA I've already noted one "Baby Boy" this season)
- A contestant starts crying
- A judge starts crying
- An audience member starts crying
- A heretofore unmentioned disability is used to excuse a shithouse performance – deaf in one ear, legally mute, dyslexia etc.
- Dicko advises someone to lose weight or dress better
- The crowd boos Marcia
- Someone is proclaimed a potential winner of Australian Idol
- Marcia actually makes a criticism of a performance; two gulps if it’s in opposition to positive comments from the other judges
- Kyle makes a valid point
- Any of the judges make not-so-veiled references to controversy outside the competition, despite a contestant’s obvious desire to die on the spot
- Marcia excuses someone for having a "lurgy"
- There is a shot of the audience listlessly dancing/waving their arms to the music
CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!:
- Someone sings a Pantera song
- Andrew and James kiss
- A contestant declares a rap-style feud with another contestant, one that can only be settled in hail of bullets in downtown L.A.
- TOUCHDOWN!! (ETA even more chug-worthy now that Holden's gone)
Suggestions and additions are more than welcome, especially rules pertaining to specific contestants.
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