Gather ’round, my children, and hear this slightly meandering tale with not much of a payoff, but it’s Friday afternoon and this is reasonably amusing.

It’s October 2004, and times were so much simpler, weren’t they? White picket fences, wives baking fresh pies, husbands in their slippers and robe reading the evening edition before supper, children outside running after the iced cream truck, apple-cheeked and care-free. There was a presidential election that fall, pitting the incumbent George W. Bush against the challenger John Kerry, and our model of democratic debate and civic discourse was a matter of pride for the whole nation.

And that went double for two young university students in Chapel Hill. James Austin and Brooks Rollins watched a televised debate between the two candidates, perhaps enjoyed one or several cold beverages, and then got into a fight over “who would Jesus vote for?” (Oh, you kids! Jesus isn’t registered!)

According to a police report, the concept of “turning the other cheek” came up, and James Robert Austin, 19, of 1305 Granville Towers West in Chapel Hill, slapped Robert Brooks Rollins, 22, of 104 Brewer Lane in Carrboro, on the cheek at Rollins’ house.

Certainly, we should file this under “boys will be boys,” and we know we forgot about this incident completely, until Mr. Austin declared his candidacy for the North Carolina House in District 88. We know absolutely nothing about this race, but I think we know who we’re endorsing.