October 5, 2009 at 4:25pm

Twelve Steps for Dealing with Misery
1. Get over yourself. You are not the center of the universe.
2. Repeat a hundred times a day: Nobody can read my mind.
3. Stop watching the news. If it’s bad enough you’ll hear about it.
4. Change jobs.
5. Move.
6. Buy some new clothes from the consignment shop.
7. Shave your head so there will be something new to focus on.
8. Forgive your parents.
9. Repeat number eight for all your former mates.
10. Reintroduce calming music into your life.
11. Babysit someone else’s kid. A baby with colic is good.
12. Quit reading your horoscope.
Stumbling Toward Enlightenment by Geri Larkin