Shanghaiist recently caught on to Forestry University’s attempts to clean up its campus’ ‘lovebird problem', but by what standards does this smooch patrol hold itself? Well, by employing hall monitors whose job is to ruin the mood (in high school we would have been so good at this job), the Communist Youth League has unloaded a heavy task on student volunteers- as if their classmates didn’t hate them enough already - to curb any public kissing, hugging, or even sitting that seems to suggest anything other than “Let’s just study together until we get married ”. However, rather than openly chastising couples and causing everyone involved to lose face, the monitors are instructed to ‘stare silently’ at the canoodling students until they regain their sense of public decency. According to Shanghai Daily “patrol members had been assaulted, either verbally or physically.” Perhaps that’s because couples mistook the monitor’s silent gaze as voyeurism.