Babysitterdirectory.com.au: Ending an After School Arrangement
Ending an After School Arrangement
What do you do when your After School Carer happens to also be a personal friend but she has just raised her rates and you now feel you want to search for another after school carer alternative for your children but don't quite know how to do it without offending her?
This is the question which we received from a parent this week, with the parent needing to balance diplomacy and tact on the one hand with the need to observe what's best for her family on the other.
When Casual gets Serious
For close to two years this parent has had a personal friend who she met in ante natal classes and who happened to live very near, care for her twin seven year old daughters after school.
The parent returned to full time work last year when her daughters started school. Rather than use the after school care program on site she decided to take the offer from her friend to care for her daughters after school and in return the parent insisted on paying a fee in recognition of this support.
At the time it seemed like a win-win situation.
This parent now goes to work knowing that when school finishes her friend will collect her daughters from school, along with her own daughter and son, take them home and give them afternoon snack. The girls are then picked up from the friends house at 5:30pm and taken home. The cost for the service has been $7 per child for each afternoon or $14 in total.
It's worked well for everyone involved. Until now.
What has changed?
Well nothing, apart from the fact that a few weeks ago the parents friend emailed saying she was raising her after school rate to $9 per day for each child.
So to this parent her after school fees have now gone up $2 a day which doesn't sound much but when you consider that this is an extra $10 a week or approximately $40 a month on after school care then suddenly the issue looks different.
To add fuel to the fire the after school care program only costs $7 a day per child (i.e $2 a day per child cheaper) but because its approved after school care it means that at the end of the year the parent can calculate it with her tax returns unlike the current arrangement with her friend.
So what does the parent now want to do?
She wants out but understandably she does not want to offend her friend or damage their friendship.
She now wants to enroll her children in after school care at the school and be able to access the approved childcare status this centre affords. So what started out as a casual arrangement nearly two years ago and which appeared to suit everyone has now left one of the parties feeling a little put out and " ripped off" and feeling that another arrangement would better suit her families needs.
Once again it goes without saying that this is a difficult situation which needs to be handled with diplomacy and tact.
Questions to think about
We asked the parent to think about why she is feeling so frustrated with the matter.
Was it because no consultation was engaged in prior to the raising of the renumeration? Yes, was the response from the parent.
Was it because the fees were raised without any change in arrangements, increase in hours or any perceived return for the added money paid? Partly, said the parent.
Or was it because the fees are now even more than the after school care program fees? Absolutely, said the parent.
Engaging in an business partnership with a friend is always a difficult and complex matter. Whether it's a childcare arrangement or going into business together, both parties need to talk about and agree on issues such as finance, what's exactly involved in the arrangement and also an exit strategy.
By 'exit strategy' we mean talking honestly and openly about scenarios that may mean the end of the 'arrangement'. For example what will happen if the carer no longer wants to provide after school care? Or what will happen if the parent no longer wants to access the care because of a change in fees, financial resources or employment status?
The important thing is that this parent should not feel obliged to continue with the care if its not serving her or her families needs. This is just plain ridiculous and in the long run it will only lead to a build up of resentment and frustration which could in the end spill over and effectively ruin the friendship.
It makes sense for this parent to talk openly with her friend and inform her that she has decided that this term she will be enrolling her daughters in the schools after school program for several reasons. Firstly, her daughters can learn more independence. Secondly, they can access the activities which the after school program provides and lastly because the fees have gone up an extra $40 a month this has meant a rethink of the situation. Likewise next year when the new school year starts a new rethink of the situation will be required - for all involved.
Over to you.
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