A Tribute to My Grandmother (Bibi Ji)
Tomorrow is going to be a tough day for me, as I pay my last respects to someone that has been the inspiration in my life. Whether or not I am able to say all of these words tomorrow, I guess, I’d love the world to know the impact my bibi ji had on me. I’ve also created a YouTube Memory that consists of my most memorable moments with her: A Tribute to My Bibi Ji (YouTube)
<object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width=560 height=340 codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name=allowFullScreen value=true></param><param name=allowscriptaccess value=always></param><param name=src value="http://www.youtube.com/v/IvFJMkbaA2Y&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name=allowfullscreen value=true></param><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width=560 height=340 src="http://www.youtube.com/v/IvFJMkbaA2Y&hl=en_US&fs=1&" allowscriptaccess=always allowfullscreen=true></embed></object>
I still can’t believe today – I am here, giving my eulogy. I can remember as if it was just yesterday when my grandmother was holding me close to her chest. Today, I wish I had the power to turn back time.
My parents came to America a year before us. When I was just 3, I stayed in India with my grandmother and I became very sick as a child. But, my grandmother’s love for me was stronger to push away any sickness. She was my protector, my angel.
When I came to America, I stayed with my grandmother for a year before I had to go to school. Now, that I look back that was my best one-year ever. The minute I woke up, to the minute I slept, I was embraced with the presence of my, bibi ji. She used to tell me every morning:
Tu mera ladla (You’re my special one)
Tera naal menu bahot pyar va (I love you the most, with all of my heart)
When I came back from school, I would come home most days with my self-esteem in shreds. But, my grandmother would sit me on her lap and say:
Na puth Na roh (My son, don’t cry)
Tu mera sona puth va (You’re my beautiful son)
Sabh kuch rabh ne teek kardena (Everything is going to be alright, God will fix everything)
Throughout the last few days, I kept thinking about all of the different moments I had with her. And every time I would shed tears, her voice with those words would come back to me as if she was here watching me. I miss her so much.
When I turned 10, my dad thought it was time for me to sleep on my own bed. My grandmother and I shared a room. So, the minute I saw her come into the room, I jumped in bed right back with her. We were truly inseparable.
I can’t imagine what it feels like to lose anyone. This is my first loss. But, it’s hard to quantify what is gone. My bibi was my best friend as a child, my hope as a teenager, and my inspiration as an adult. I am simply who I am today, because of her.
As a teenager, I shared every moment with her. I wanted her to know of my success since I remembered clearly the sacrifice she made in her life for us. She was the most humble person that gave up everything and in return only gave unconditional love.
Several years later, she began to show signs of Alzheimer’s and soon enough was forgetting me. I don’t know why God did that; maybe he felt if he did that – it would make this day less painful. But, it hasn’t. Her memories and moments in my life, I will cherish forever. And, I will miss her presence more than ever.
One thing I will never forget though, is the last few hours I did share with her. Her body had given up and she was suffering. The first time, when she was at her last heartbeat, we knew we were seconds away from losing her; so, I came close to her side. I held her hand, kissed her forehead and wanted to let her know that I will never forget the love she gave me. Moments later, her heart started to beat normal again, even when the rest of her body gave up.
The second time again, we thought we were a few heartbeats away, and as we came close, her heartbeat came back. She sensed our presence. That moment I knew, her love for us was too strong and she was trying to fight an impossible battle with death. She did not want to lose us. But, I held her hand, kissed her forehead again and whispered to her: “Bibi, It’s okay to go, I don’t want you to suffer anymore.” Seconds later she was gone.
If there is one thing that her legacy was based upon, it was “our happiness.”
Her life revolved around us four. She showered us with nothing but endless love and protected us from everything. Her goal was simple, “unity.” And, her legacy will continue for many generations to come.
With my final words, God, I have something to ask. Thank you again for bringing an angel on this earth as my grandmother. I can’t thank you enough for that. But, if there is anything else I can ask, it is the following:
In my next life, please re-unite Bibi Ji with me.
But, if you’ve decided to keep her and not repeat the cycle of re-birth, then please let her continue to be my angel, this time from up above.
I will forever miss you…