Instructions: Read the following with a French accent. Why? Because everything is better in French. Don't believe us? Check this out. Yup, that's right, you thought your kid was cute, but now, like us (even though we don't have kids and maybe you don't either), you want to trade yours in for the cooler, cuter, Frenchier version. We're serious, French -- real or fake -- is the new black. In fact, as we speak, we've hired actors to dub all of our favorite TV shows into French. Look, it's as simple as this: if you haven't seen Bioman dubbed in French, you just haven't lived.

OK, so here's what's what (remember, you should be reading this with a real or fake French accent) -- z ole-o-dayz r ere nd ve ave zme new ole-o-day gear. (Translation: the holidays are here and we have some new holiday gear.)

First up, with the weight of History upon us, you really can't do what we do and not have an Obama tee. And let's face it, the man is handsome and articulate and without even trying is resurrecting the flashbulb-pop and starstruck feel of the Kennedy-Camelot days of yore. (If you're still reading in faux French, sorry about the word "yore," that one's kind of tough.) Surprisingly though, creating an Obama design that evokes his charm, presidential ease and magnetism was challenging... however, we think we nailed it.



(Note: If you do not know what a PILF is, it's probably because you don't know what a MILF is. Please do not Google MILF like we told our parents to (sorry Mom and Dad). If you do so, you will be awash with links to images you may not want to see. Instead, click here and you should be able to figure it out.)

Next, bicycles. We love 'em: from the hipster fixies to the lazy basket-headed cruisers -- two wheels good, four wheels bad! And we tend to agree with our favorite absinthe swilling, gun totting (while bike riding), nineteenth century Parisian poet, Alfred Jarry, who described the bicycle as a "magnificent external skeleton that permits the human race to surpass, at full speed, the limits imposed by biological evolution." And, in the spirit of Jarry, we too have decided to surpass the limits imposed by biological evolution -- and let bikes do what the birds and bees do (come on, what's the point of being human if you can't anthropomorphize now and then?); as well as protest the latest oil driven war.


After bikes, we're back at it with the birds. In fact, literally, The Birds.

"My agent called, said they need some extras for some Hitchcock thing, "guaranteed screen time," whatcha think? Should we do it?

And yes, more birds.

"Um no. Polly wants to get the F*@# out of this cage and bite you in the face."

In theory, that should be the end of our little blog o' fun, but we've been busy and there are seemingly endless things to share. Before we call it a day, we'd also like to let you know our whereabouts for the next few weeks (hey looking for something to do in the city tomorrow night? -- we'll be at the Verdi Club participating in the ReadyMade Winter Ball and Craft Show -- and Yes, that is a link to a pic of Rhino (aka Adam) back in an '03 ReadyMade spread) -- check out the "upcoming events" page on the TG&R website.

And lastly, we've finally joined the ranks of the Facebook social networking army. That said, we're mere tyros and have no idea about the intricacies and inner workings of the system -- Facebook wall? what's that? Regardless, if you're on Facebook you can find us by searching either "the girl and rhino" or "adam elaine." That's right, even though we don't know what we're doing (or maybe as evidence that we don't know what we're doing) we have two pages: the "official" TG&R business page (become a fan!) and the Adam & Elaine page (become a friend!).

Happy holidays!
Elaine and Adam, The Girl and Rhino