Let Them Eat Cake
It's been a surreal past few days.
If you missed Part I of our saga, start at the beginning.
12,560 news articles, 322 television segments, 147 interview requests...
The cake took on a life of its own.
No, really. At some point, the cake became spontaneously conscious and self-aware.
I'd been growing wary of the cake's growing mental capacity for some time. But only after catching it on the john with a copy of The Unbearable Lightness of Being was I fully convinced.
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Fearing for my personal safety, I decided it was time for the infamous dessert and I to make one final journey.
Travelling southbound on the 101 freeway, we wound our way to LA's skid row. It was here that the saga of the purloined pastry was destined to reach its tasty conclusion.
"I regret that I have but 3 tiers of frosted red velvet to give for my country," spoke the doomed confection.
And with that, he was carved into 125 delicious slices, and served to the homeless of downtown Los Angeles on white paper plates.
Epilogue: Thanks to everyone who supported this ridiculous adventure. Here are a few of our favorite photos of the cake as brought to you by the users of reddit.com: