Welcome To The Hood: New Muppets Sesame Street Should Consider

October 5, 2011 at 9:00pm



The gang's all here...or are they?



According to USA Today (via The Village Voice) Sesame Street is going to add a new muppet to the list of characters, Lily, that struggles with hunger. Peep game:


“…Lily will star in a prime-time PBS special this Sunday called Growing Hope Against Hunger. It’s not the first time Sesame Street has taken a progressive stance on educating children, presenting rather grown-up issues to kids through the show’s characters. Past episodes have featured everything from breast-feeding to kids with “two daddies.” With nearly 15 percent of American households qualifying as “food insecure” — that’s one in five hungry kids in New York — hunger is definitely an issue we should be explaining to kids.”


I think this is absolutely great. Truthfully, I give Sesame Street a lot of credit for tackling the issues that they do. While my daughter is a bit young to fully grasp the depth of some of these issues, I’m sure Sesame Street will be a household mainstay and I’ll be able to use the show to broach issues of struggle, acceptance, and humanity. They could just as easily not delve into societal issues (such as last year’s ode to natural hair “I Love My Hair”) and stick to the alphabet and numbers, but they take chances. Heck, for the past umpteen years, America’s favorite muppet has been a starving artist, stoner who’s pet fish doesn’t actually move. It took some balls to make a perpetually high Elmo the face of the show but they did it. I applaud their moxie.


Since Sesame Street (well the non-profit that produces the show) is so open to adding muppets and story lines to the show that reflect whats actually going on in the world in the form of teachable moments, I figured that I may as well share some other muppets that they may be interested in looking into.


Such as…


Cedar Block Cedric


While Sesame Street might be all songs and randomly located numbers, there are some other streets out there where the lights don’t seem to stay on. Cedar Block Cedric could be the wayward muppet kid who joined a gang but is really just wookin’ por nub in all da wong pwaces. He could accidentally wander to Sesame Street looking for an arch-muppet from Sesame Avenue and ended up on the wrong street (he never learned to read so well…Elmo will be his favorite because they both rock red) where Big Bird takes him under his wing and ends up telling him that he can be part of his gang now while Maria and Gordon seek help for him. All the songs would be rap songs. A muppet rendition of “Growin’ Up In The Hood” by Compton’s Most Wanted would be included. Snoop would guest.


Suicide Sally


Between cyber-bullying and horrible TV movies about the youth of America trying to one themselves with pills, it seems like more and more children are threatening suicide. Well Suicide Sally can be the conduit through which Sesame Street tells children that they all have something to live for. Zoe runs up on her sitting on the side of the road being really depressed, talking about nobody loves her and of course it turns out that everybody on Sesame Street loves her. Snuffalupagus and her form a support group and they cross promote Winnie The Pooh with a surprise appearance by Eeyore who is in a surprisingly upbeat mood due to the uppers he’s taking.


Esteemesha


Esteemesha is a muppet from Baltimore who rocks a wig that’s more platinum than a My Little Pony action figure tail. She also has fake nails and dresses as provocatively as an 8-year-old muppet can dress. Well, she comes to Sesame Street looking for some Louboutins but meets Grover who’s as kooky as they come but is happy being himself and she realizes that its okay to be who she is, a muppet who likes to read Harry Potter books and listen to Michael Jackson and Justin Bieber. She learns that she doesn’t need to pretend to be somebody else or grow up too fast and everybody on Sesame Street tells us why they love who they are with Esteemesha rounding it out by saying she’s happy with herself because she found people who love her for her. <del>Kim Kardashian Beyonce India.Arie Rihanna Katy Perry</del> Lady Gaga guest stars.


Forrest and Nat


Forrest and Nat are two muppest who go to the same school and live in the neighborhood but they don’t like eachother because they’re different colors so they fight all the time. The principal sends them to Scared Straight but the bus breaks down on Sesame Street where they encounter a bunch of other muppets who are all types of colors and they learn that color doesn’t matter; all that matters is what’s in your heart. Forrest and Nat then sing a muppet rendition of “Ebony and Ivory” – only way less questionable than the Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney version – and Elmo tells them that should all just play together once he gets something from his “stash”. They then form an alliance called the Muppet Non-Violent Coordinating Committee with The Count as chairman. Bill O’Reilly and Al Sharpton shake hands on the show.


I think those would be fine additions to the Sesame Street landscape, don’t you? If you could create your societally relevant Sesame Street characters, who would they be?


VSB, let’s relive our childhood. MJ was still looking for his when he died, don’t make the same mistakes<del> Conrad</del> he did.


Who’s your muppet?


-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TICKLE ME EMO P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3




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