Autisable.com

I never thought I'd be envious of someone with classic autism but now I have read "The Game of My Life" by Jason "J-Mac" McElwain. I am impressed by his ability to be part of a team and to build life-long friendships through sport. I suspect that he probably sees friendship differently from his friends but their contributions to the book show that he does have friends, real friends and he knows they are friends.

I don't understand friendship and I certainly don't understand teams. I had two high spots in Rugby. One, receiving the ball and breaking for the posts only to have the moment ruined by the teacher stopping play because people were not making a good enough effort to tackle me. The second playing in Full Back position falling on the ball right at the feet of the opposing pack and getting up unhurt. I do enjoy watching Rugby, but I was never a great player. More Here...

Anybody ever think they were adopted? Yeah, at one time or another you looked to your left, then to your right and thought, I'm nothing like these people, nothing like them at all.

Having 6 sisters and 3 brothers there was a lot of comparison to make. Sure we all had the blond hair, blue eyes and the same set of parents but beyond that I was definitely the outsider. I was the mouthy one, the emotional one, the one with the weight problem and an astigmatism worthy of some pretty regrettable choices in eye wear.

The biggest difference beyond my unfortunate dress size is my sense of humor. I was the one who wanted to turn tears into laughter, lighten up the moment. Sometimes I had to suppress this drive when a situation called for a more serious demeanor such as a funeral or during a class discussion of a historic tragedy. I visualized everything I heard or read and it usually took on a funny twist. Maybe this was a defense mechanism to prevent further damage to my tortured psyche (ya know, being the fat kid and all) or maybe it is a trait I am blessed with to get me through what was and is to come in my life.  More Here...

The other day hubby and I were having a conversation with collegeman. The topic of the conversation is not what is important but what is important is the fact that he did not understand the idioms used in the conversation. It never dawned on us that he didn’t understand our use of idioms. I know that idiomatic speech is very hard for aspies but this is a young man who gets As in college. How he does that and yet doesn’t understand idiomatic speech is a testament to his innate intelligence.  But I have to tell you we felt so bad for him. What must it be like to live in a world that you do not understand and because you do not understand that world, the world does not understand you back? He is like Alice through the looking glace, lost in Wonderland, afraid of some misstep that will get your” head” chopped off.

While I talk about hiring an aide for collegeman, and a social/life skills coach, and psychologists and write about my own angst associated with giving collegeman the freedom to make mistakes that he needs, I am also faced with a new realization. One day collegeman will face a hostile, unforgiving world where people do not have to try to figure him out. That reality actually has set in more profoundly recently than it had been earlier. No not just because he will be going to school without the aide, but because he has faced some professors over the last few years that did not get him and did not really want to get him. Now there have been wonderful professors who went out of their way to understand collegeman and his little idiosyncrasies and let’s face reality he has plenty of those. But these men and women did what they could in the context of a college classroom to incorporate him and teach him at the same time about proper college class decorum. Now the aide helped too of course and I believe it is through the efforts of all involved that he has gotten to this level of propriety.  

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