
Carl's Golfland To play golf you need goofy pants and a fat ass. ~ Happy Gilmore

Carl's Golfland Golf is the hardest game in the world. There is no way you can ever get it. Just when you think you do, the game jumps up and puts you in your place. ~ Ben Crenshaw

Carl's Golfland Real pressure in golf is playing for $10 when you've only got $5 in your pocket. ~ Lee Trevino

Carl's Golfland One hundred years of experience had demonstrated that the game is temporary insanity practiced in a pasture. ~ Dave Kindred

Carl's Golfland There are no short hitters on the tour anymoreラjust long and unbelievably long. ~ Sam Snead

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Carl's Golfland Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them. ~ Kevin Costner

Carl's Golfland The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie. ~ Mickey Mantle

Carl's Golfland Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that. ~ Jim Murray

Carl's Golfland I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool. ~ George Brett

Carl's Golfland A hungry dog hunts best. ~ Lee Trevino

Carl's Golfland These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. ~ Sam Snead

Carl's Golfland These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. ~ Sam Snead

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