Captain Freedom

Last night I threw some halibut on the grill (Grill Three, under the secret headquarters’ open-air rifle turret) for a special occasion (none of your business) and prepared a butter consisting of chipotle and lime...

Recently this very site was overtaken by some evildoers and I had to fight them off with some fancy computer hacking kung-fu ( I sprayed their eyes with some olive oil from my special chrome mister). But we shouldn’t let this happen again, so here is my 7-step plan: Keep your password safe...

It should go without saying that superheroes are vile and without any real negotiable value, but we’re here, so we’ll go ahead and say it: They’re terrible...

Hey everybody, I’m Captain Freedom! I’m a big dumb idiot and I wrote a book and stuff and I’m gonna talk about it! Bleh bleh blah blah blah! Grooming, nerdgasm, etc. Ha! We got you, didn’t we? Of course we did. Our uncanny imitation of that fool, Captain Freedom, totally had you going...

True believers, you can never be too careful when you use the World Wide Web. It’s a disgusting digital dung heap of digital depravity, and yes, I said digital twice. Because, you know, Base 2. Zeroes and ones. I’m no expert at computers...

Superhero Style Heroes occasionally have to act like normal people in totally unexpected ways...

That’s right good people. Even Canadians can win chances to read Captain Freedom, although it was neither translated into French, French-Canadian, Acadian, or Saskatchewan. How to win: Go to the Book Lady’s Blog. You should go there anyway, because she’s a nice lady who reads...

Listen to Excerpts of G. Xavier Robillard read from Captain Freedom at McNally Jackson. Aside from his reading he talks about giving up comics in a desperate attempt to get girls. Which we believe was a total failure...

(at left, invisible pitbull) Rely on the incompetence of his crew Your enemy will likely hire a gang with sub-par talents. The labor pool for henchmen is of notoriously poor quality, as people with any drive or talent quickly move up the crime ladder...

In which I’m compared to an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. I’ll take it. Not only is it consistently funny throughout, but it is packed with so many gags, riffs and rimshots that even if one bit doesn’t make you chuckle, chances are the next one will. Read the rest in Boston

G. Xavier Robillard performs a reading about the Watchmen movie in Cambridge, MA.

Who would win in a fight? the reclusive Narwhal or the magical unicorn? Find out in my column in the Powell’s Books blo

This is exactly what satire is supposed to be: cutting, yet light.Robillard is a guy who looks at the world around him, really understands what motivates people and then completely skewers it. Nearly every paragraph is a punchline, and if it isn’t funny yet, it will be by the end of the chapter...

Tonight I’ll be reading at the Red Door, a bar/lounge in Portsmouth NH, to help inaugurate the new RiverRun reading series, Books and Booze. There will even be a superhero-themed drink for the evening. You can read more about the event in the Portsmouth Heral

Today I’m reading in NYC, at McNally Jackson Books, and then will retire to a local bar to rid the world of some fierce Scottish stout. According to custom, I have no idea yet what I’m reading. You can leave your thoughts below in the comments… if you dare...

Everyone’s abuzz about the Oscars, but I’d like to disclose my own Hall of Fame, Oscar-worthy performance: I once ate 5 servings of fruits and vegetables. In a day. The day started out normally. Early in the morning, when it was time to pack lunch, I threw a peach in my bag...

Not The Wire involving surveillance, canny drug dealers and corrupt cops - The Wire in Portsmouth, NH. He may be endowed with an arsenal of superpowers that would make Spiderman jealous, but Captain Freedom has problems...

You might have thought that the Phoenix was destroyed at the end of the final X-Men movie, which had the subtitle (let’s ram this franchise into the ground in a way that makes Howard the Duck look good). But no...

The good people at Cracked.com have published my story detailing the anticipation a movie Fanboy goes through while waiting for their favorite movie, the Watchmen, to come out. A friend forwards an email from a temp in the legal department of DC Comics: “They’re making a movie of Watchmen...

Get Your Pitchforks and Torches Ready: tonight, in Salem Massachusetts, home of the BBQ Witch-fry-wich, I’m reading at Cornerstone Books. No offense to our Wiccan-American friends...

My sources (self googling) just informed me that Captain Freedom is on the bestseller list at Powell’s. Above, of course, The Chronicles of Theophanes, so yes, my life story is more successful than the life of a Byzantine monk. As it should be...

I will be reading tonight at the Brookline Booksmith, in Brookline’s Coolidge Corner. BROOKLINE BOOKSMITH 279 Harvard St Brookline, MA 02446 (617) 566-6660

Captain Freedom will be in Boston tomorrow at Borders, at 1 PM sharp. A very nice gentleperson from the Beantown Bloggery can tell you his experience. BORDERS 10-24 School St. Boston, MA 02108 617-557-7188

NB: Shortly after this bootleg translation appeared, ghostwriter G. Xavier Robillard disappeared in Japan, and is thought to have been kidnapped and taken to North Korea. Pending sales of this book, the publisher may or may not lobby for his release. Translated from the Korean...

Long separated from Stumptown, Captain Freedom will entertain fans in the Powell's City of Books. This is the *FINAL* Captain Freedom event, after which we will put his cape...

Even the smallest secret headquarters requires a ton of maintenance – biohazard samples from the crime lab must be disposed of in accordance with local law, costumes must be darned, sewn, capes frequently dry cleaned and dinosaur droppings must be cleaned from the litter box, and let’s not even...

Last night I signed books at NY ComicCon and only barely escaped being asked to judge a “skanky Princess Leia in slave outfit” contest. I also had the pleasure of meeting Bryan Lee O’Malley, author/artist of the wonderful Scott Pilgrim series...

The good people of Medium at Large graciously published this pressing question about cheerleaders. Is ‘Save the Cheerleader, Save the World’ Always True? T. Kring, NBC.com I’m guessing that you’re asking about this specific plot resolution offered by the hit television show Heroes...

The goodly people at Broken Frontier published my suggestions on how to choose a secret identity. It begins thusly: One of the first tasks handed down to a new Hero is the construction of an alter ego...