Conolia

During the game, opponent quarterback, Drew Brees, was seen taking the snap, sitting down for a picnic with the Unicorns owner, Nick Biggs, and then ten minutes later actually taking the time to pass the ball.

Many are now saying that expansion team Tots War, had a disastrous draft. In the first round and sixth pick overall, Tots War management attempted to pick up Bill Clinton for their team and in round two, the confused owner declared his team pick as Al Gore. ...

The move came after two formal complaints were issued regarding the draft. The first complaint came from Koala Bears owner, Joe Donohoe. “The Commissioner is clearly giving the dumb blonde a handicap,” ...

Users of chat rooms, message boards, blogs, and social networking sites reported several alleged attacks just after four o’clock this morning, a time that is debated to even exist. Many described the scene as “enviable mayhem”.

“I’m not sure what suspect or laws you’re talking about,” Officer Copper of the Conolia Police Department said when asked about the situation.

Dr. Panicklowsky heads up the team that found the strain. “We ran out of animals to blame for starting new strains, so we’re calling this one SwineBirdCowCatDog Flu. I’m sure one of those animals started it.”

The victim, Sue Appy, was terrorized when coming home from the grocery store. “I was trying to unload my groceries from the car when this mutt ran up to me and licked my foot. My foot!” Appy held back tears as she added, “I was wearing sandals.”

“There are far too many computers out there today that have little to no coverage,” Bigov said during the press conference earlier this morning. “We must have compassion for those who can’t afford coverage, but must have a healthy computer to update their Facebook and Twitter pages.”