Favorite Pages
Carl Breytenbach Wat noem jy 'n moffie kaboutertjie - 'n boudkappertjie!
Melody Reynolds Jannie walked into the bathroom while his mom were having a bath and pointed at her breasts "Mommy,what is that".It is my angels said his mom.The next day Jannie runs home and says that Sannies dad is going to heaven.Shocked,his mom askes why and Jannie says that they were playing under Sannies mom`s bedroom window and saw Sannies dad holding Sannies moms angels and he shouted "O, GOD I`M COMING".
Stephno Jansen van Vuuren
Gatiep loop in die straat af met 10 kreewe.spietkop trek hom af langs die pat en se maar gatiep kreef sysoen is klaar viby.gatiep kyk en dink toe vinag aan iets en se maar nei die is my troetel diertjies.ek gat gooi hulle elke aand ini see dat hule biekie swem dan so 7 uur fluit ek dan kom hulle weer uit.spietkop kan n...ie glo wat hy se nie en gaan die volgebde dag saam hom.gatiep gaan in die see en sit hulle leke ver uit mikaar uit en bly staan ini see.na so 3 uure vr die spietkop vi gatiep nou wane fluit j nou vi daai kreewe van jou.gatiep kyk om en se maar is j bibleksin weet j ni dat kreef sysoen kla is nieRead More
Hendri Radyn
Wit boer toer in Zimbabwe & vra `n swarte: Hay booi, waar is Salsbury hier in Rhodesia?"
Swarte" "No sir, 3 things changed here. No more Salsbury, it's Harare. No more Rhodesia, it's Zimbabwe. Last, I`m not u'r booi, it's comrade.
Boer: "Wat is comrade?"
Swarte: "I think it's russian for kaffir"
John Marais
1/3:
AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also ...asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!Read More
AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also ...asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!Read More
John Marais
2/3:
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After ...I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card.. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!< /B>
I gave your shoes to a homeless g uy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.Read More
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After ...I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card.. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!< /B>
I gave your shoes to a homeless g uy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.Read More
John Marais
3/3:
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning Presiden...t Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!Read More
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning Presiden...t Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!Read More
Cindy-lee Saayman
Twee ou skoolvriende loop mekaar na baie jare weer raak. Piet vra vir Jan: "Jan wat het jy nou in al die jare bereik?" Jan antwoord: "Wel Piet ek het drama gaan studeer en my graad verwerf, daar het ek ook my vrou ontmoet, 'n pragtige sanger. Ons het nou twee kinders, die meisie swot nou kuns in Italië en my seun werk ...speel klavier vir 'n orkes in Engeland. Julle moet een aand oorkom dan hou ons 'n kultuur aand. En wat van jou Piet?" Wel sê Piet: "Ek het aangegaan met my stoei na skool en so ook my vrou ontmoet wat 'n swartbelt in karate het. Ons het ook 2 kinders, die seun beoefen kung-fu en die dogter is 'n kickboxer. Julle moet een aand oorkom dan moer ons julle."Read More
Cindy-lee Saayman
'n Man het pas sy nuwe besigheid begin. Hy sit trots by sy lessenaar en wag vir sy eerste kliënt. Ewe skielik stap die sekretaresse in en sê hier is iemand om hom te sien. Hy sit dadelik regop en gryp sy foon, maak asof hy 'n baie besige en suksesvolle man is. Die "kliënt" stap in en staan voor die man se lessenaar. Di...e man is diep in gesprek op die foon: "Julle kan daardie R2 miljoen asb vir my oorplaas en die R500 000 wins wat ek gemaak het kan julle asb in my Switserse bankrekening inbetaal en ek my nuwe kar van Duitsland moet julle asb vir my per skeep laat kom. Dit sal al wees vir eers dankie." Die man sit die telefoon neer en sê: "Goeie dag, hoe kan ek help?" Die "kliënt antwoord: "Menneer ek is van Telkom, ek wil net gou u foon koppel".Read More
Marlin Wiggill Blond staan in die see en speel in die water terwyl sy sing " kadoef kadoef, die water kom tot by my kniee". Oom stap verby en se maar meisie, dit rym dan nie. Sy se ek weet oom, ek wag vir hoog water !!
Beryldene Lottering
Maraaitjie stap by die libry in en daa sien sy vi Gammat diep
ingedagte met die Bybel in sy hanne. Sy sê: "Gammat, en as djy dan
nou hie sit en Bybel lies? Ek dog djull's Moeslems?"
"Nei", sê Gamat, "ek soek wêk."
"Innie Bybel nogals?" vra Maraai.
"Dja" sê Gamat. Hie innie boek van "Job".
Ilze Jan , 'n gelowige man, gaan jag. In die bos storm 'n leeu hom.Hy bid vinnig en desperaat...."Here, laat dit 'n christelike leeu wees" dis al wat hy uitkry en 'n paar senuweepoepies. Die leeu stop by Jan, sit sy poot op Jan se kop en sê:"Seën Heer die voedsel wat vir my voorgesit is en maak my opreg dankbaar daarvoor.AMEN "
Bradley Koster
An old man is sitting on a bus when a punk rocker gets on.The punk rocker's hair is red,green yellow and orange.He has feather earrings.
When he sees the old man staring at him,the punk rocker says,"What's the matter old man?Didn't you ever do anything wild when you were a young guy?"
The old man says in reply"Yeah.one time i screwed a parrot.I thought maybe you were my kid."
