Messed Up Parenting Tips

Parents rejoice! The first day of school is a special event, it’s when your child is old enough to have free childcare, Oh, I guess they might learn some stuff too. It’s funny to watch some parents agonize over letting their baby go. ...

Stress can be fun if you harvest it correctly, into your children. Instilling values like second place is for the biggest loser or even though you were runner up that still means you were weren’t the prettiest or the most talented. ...

This fear became a reality the other day when my oldest was itching her head. Daddy doesn’t normally respond to his children’s needs but my daughter was very persistent that her head was itchy. Upon inspection ...

When you were in college how did you know your party was a success? Everyone got drunk as hell and someone ended up vomiting all over the place. Children’s parties are slightly different. All alcohol ...

I love going to the store without my children and seeing other parents struggling with their terribly behaved little monsters throwing temper tantrums, screaming and crying. Their misery is so amusing to me. ...

When giving your child a nickname its important that this name describes your frustration with the child. My daughter for example always spills her drinks. So Daddy has named her Spills McGhee. And without fail every time I call her Spills McGhee she cries. ...

Daddy’s relationship with God is pretty simple, I only pray for selfish gain, and when God comes through all is good. I remember the first time I prayed to God. It was last year around Christmas while looking for a Nintendo Wii. ...

Sports are important. It’s the only thing that allows Daddy to feel connected to the to the rest of the family and gives him an opportunity to bond with his son. If your child expresses concern about playing ...

Anything that involves daddy spending time with his children is really not his cup of tea. Whoever said, “Children should be seen and not heard.” Probably didn’t have children cause honestly sometimes the sight of them can induce vomiting. ...

Have you ever put soap in your child’s mouth? Well when Mommy’s dinner tastes like crap soap isn’t really all that effective. After inserting soap into the mouth of my oldest son, he looked up and said “Wow! ...

For you daughters 11th birthday her gift is a trip to the gynecologist for a nice Depo-Provera shot just to “so called regulate her period.” Sex to her should be clouded by false ideas and should leave her ridden with guilt. ...

When talking to your son about sex this should be fairly simple. Tell him sex feels really good, until you see the end result, which was you, so wrap that shit up. Go into a long speech about how the last thing he wants is a child running around, explain how it really messed up your life. ...

Daddy failed foreign language three times and not because he didn’t want to learn a second language, but the class was scheduled inconveniently between cutting class and smoking pot. Besides looking back at High School showed Daddy that he hasn’t even effectively mastered the English language. ...

Daddy failed foreign language three times and not because he didn’t want to learn a second language, but the class was scheduled inconveniently between cutting class and smoking pot. Besides looking back at High School showed Daddy that he hasn’t even effectively mastered the English language. ...