I began comedy three years ago and will continue it until I die. (Three years from now). Nothing is sacred and everything deserves to be laughed at and about. Come to one of my shows and you will agree with me, lemmings. : )
Information
- Location:
- Newport News, VA
Events
1 upcoming eventSee All
- Stand up Comedy @ BLURR
Blurr Bistro & Ultra-Lounge
Tomorrow, January 6 at 8:30pm
David Carter Comedy Night @ BLURR in Newport News, Jan 6th @ 830. Also, support my friends Rabbit Rabbit Sketch Comedy. We all live to make you laugh.
David Carter
To waft the cloud of confusion out of the window, this will be a comedy night. Facebook has yet to provide "Comedy" as a notable type of event.
My New Year's resolution is to make every single one of you go to a comedy show, whether it be mine or anyone's.. okay, just mine. No one else. Me. Just me. I don't know who yo...ur favorite comedian used to be, but get ready to upgrade. Yeah, you heard me.
So come on out! Three other fantastic comedians will be performing that are making a name for themselves around the circuit, and one amazing headliner! Names will be dropped very soon.
Remember to enter some sort of creative and witty tagline for this event before publishing it
Time:8:30PM Wednesday, January 6th
Location:Blurr Bistro & Ultra-Lounge
David Carter Laws are like sausages. They are mostly comprised of unnecessary terrible sh*t, and I wouldn't recommend watching how either are made.. Pork Barrell is pig anus, sorry to ruin the surprise.
David Carter Um.. Did Arnold Swarzenegger just terraform an entire planet by simply pushing a button with his index and middle finger together? F*** yeah he did. IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!
David Carter And to think, today is the special, loving day which all straight couples come together and do that one thing that they do each year. You know, that one thing. The thing they do only once a year because it stings and to do it too frequently would hurt her lower digestive tract. Yep.
David Carter "The Biggest Name in Comedy is Alvin and the Chipmonks!" ...Really? Is it really, tv commercial? I doubt that. If I made a list of all things comedy, with no defined end, talking chipmonks would not be on it. Merry Christmas?
David Carter Chris Matthews is currently commenting on Dick Cheney's "Conservative of the Year" nod, but he is consistently pronouncing his name "Dick Cheenie". Yeah. Thats right, Matthews. You dig the knife in! Thats how you win a political debate, mumbing like a irritated 3rd grader. Go get him! You make all of us liberals proud.... Is he also a poopie head?
David Carter Went to get a suit today, I have an idea for a motto change. Men's Warehouse - "Let a stranger touch your crotch."
David Carter I commit tax fraud because it makes me feel alive. I have 65 dependents. YOU FREAKING HEARD ME, 65!
David Carter Why do I make jokes about Jesus? It dethrones him, so to speak. Thats what I enjoy, taking power away from beliefs, objects, &people that draw a radical audience. While I called Jesus an authority, he isnt an authority in my life. I dont "listen to" or respect him. Hes the equivalent of campus police. Except Jesus is a... nice guy w/ some good ideas, whereas my campus police are tools that get racist when they're bored.
David Carter I'm not saying that all movies about black people have fat suits in them, I'm just saying that all movies that have fat suits in them are about black people.
Grant Newman Keep it up, David! We all believe in you! If all works out, one day you'll become a great comedian like Jimmy Fallon or Larry the Cable Guy!
David Carter Wow. There must be sooo many guys in Newport News with giant penises. I can only assume this because an overwhelming amount of cars and motorcycles that shoot by my apartment complex are OBNOXIOUSLY LOUD! That is how they judge/lie to themselves, so why shouldnt we do it too? ..assholes
David Carter Bubba Burgers - "They're like meat, but different."
