SPRINGFIELD, MA—Attendees at the 2009 Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame induction ceremony on Friday, to a person, had no idea who the white guy holding up a jersey with the name “Stockton” is. Furt...
FOXBORO, MA—As questions swirl about the future of disgraced quarterback Mike Vick, numerous so-called experts and analysts have speculated that Vick will sign with the Patriots, despite the team having an offense that relies heavily on its passing game and already having all-pro Tom Brady. ...
CHICAGO, IL—Players and clubhouse reporters could hardly have known Thursday afternoon when they filed into the White Sox locker room that they were about to witness baseball history. ...
LOS ANGELES, CA—It wasn’t so long ago that saying good-bye to a friend moving to the other side of the country meant saying good-bye forever. Thanks to the internet, however, keeping in touch couldn’t be easier—and one L.A. Laker in particular is reaping its benefits. “I jus...
ST. LOUIS, MO—Immediately following his removal after the 2nd inning during a rather disappointing performance in last night’s All-Star Game, Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum prematurely left Busch Stadium to watch a midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. ...
CHICAGO, IL—Amid revelations that he tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003, Sammy Sosa took the opportunity yesterday to address different allegations, specifically those that arose after he was discovered using a corked bat during a game in 2003. ...
DETROIT, MI—Flushed with excitement after his team’s 2-1 victory over the Red Wings Friday night, Sidney Crosby joyously removed the small wax beard and mustache that he had been wearing for the past two months. Sp...
PITTSBURGH, PA — Given that his Pittsburgh Penguins have won the NHL championship and reclaimed the Stanley Cup, one would think that Sidney Crosby would be pretty happy these days. One would be wrong. “I feel pretty good about winning the Stanley Cup,” Crosby said. “But...
DETROIT, MI—In a 10-month span that witnessed the collapse of its vaunted car industry, a continued stay as the nation’s most dangerous city, and an 0-16 Lions season, it seemed that the city of Detroit would finally have something to cheer about when the Red Wings took a 2-0 over the Pit...
Follow SSNN on Twitter! KINGSBURY, NY—Local 12-year-olds Howard Harrison and Damien Shingwel announced today their disappointment that this year’s much-anticipated, much-hyped potential NBA Finals matchup between the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Los Angeles Lakers would not come to fruition. Sp...
HATTIESBURG, MS — After a disappointing run with the New York Jets in 2008, retired quarterback Brett Favre is flirting with the Minnesota Vikings in an attempt to resurrect his once great career of screwing around with the minds of NFL fans. ...
LOS ANGELES — Manny Ramirez has been suspended for 50 games under the league’s substance abuse policy after reports have surfaced that he’s been injecting himself with various fruit juices over the last several months. Acco...
WASHINGTON, DC — Alex Ovechkin put the puck in the net for his third goal Monday and the hats started to pour down from all the reaches of the Verizon Center in Washington, DC, and all of a sudden, Sidney Crosby’s vagina started to hurt so bad. “All of a sudden, it was like my vagina [...]
Follow SSNN on Twitter! NEW YORK, NY—Following the conclusion of last weekend’s NFL draft, ESPN’s NFL-draft analyst Mel Kiper, Jr. retr...
NEW YORK, NY—Shortly after being notified that he had been drafted by the Detroit Lions, Georgia quarterback Matthew Stafford packed what belongings he could carry and fled north to Canada, where he plans to join up with a CFL team in the hopes of avoiding his commitment to the Lions. ...
