Silent Sorority

I am struggling with infertility and the choice between adoption or child free. Thanks for a little laugh!

A lot of times I think having a child is more of biology than "God's will".

I think its more often they have to learn something by having a child. Grow up a little. ALOT of the times I've noticed that the people that keep popping kids out like they are pez candies are also some of the most immature people I've ever met.

No one I can talk to, all would reject the real me. So much to write about, but all infertile I meet let a good and godly llfe before marriage, except me. I miss my baby so much....

I feel cursed being infertile

Especially when people on my FB are always commenting about their children-makes me want to crawl into a hole and die.

Thank you so much for putting the conversation/interview online. I was especially intrigued by the idea of seeing a "grief and loss" counselor for dealing with infertility. I never saw it as a "loss", as I have always thought of that term going along with the death of someone, but if you have that dream of your biological child and it never comes into fruition, you still have lost something very real in your heart. I'm understanding what I'm going through so much more now. Thank you!!

I found this of great comfort. Thank you for making me feel like I was in a room filled with friends who are willing to talk about the Elephant standing on the coffee table.

Excellen Pamela, I LOL a this, wish my elephant would make a return to Africa too, just seems to be a constant presence looming in the darkest corners and making an appearance at impromptu times!!,not sure what my elephant's name is either...

This blog post couldn't have been more timely. I was just talking about this very issue with my dad earlier today. Thank you for this! I know he didn't get what I was talking about. I'm confident this post will help!

me also...

I did too. Made me cry when Julia got that letter from her sister. I think for the first time, hubby got a glimpse of what I've felt so, so many times.

well if you can't share baby pictures and brag about your child then you may certainly brag about a group of ppl no one really thinks about until it happens to them. GOOD JOB! I am a very stressed out mother of 3 and I have a close friend and half brother and his wife that cannot seem to conceive. I have offered anything I can do-surrogacy, etc. because I couldn't imagine WHAT I WOULD DO if I couldn't have a baby!!!! I am praying for you all.

This was very succinctly written and voiced my own feelings perfectly. I've been fine for awhile now and then for some reason got really weepy yesterday. I guess it will always come and go... Those little pictures on the fridge... eloquent.

Looking forward to it!

Finding your book I could not wait to get it. I ordered it and eagerly checked the mail box each day. When it finally arrived I open your book with excitement but upon reading a few pages I set the book down. I am still not sure why, I really like your writing style and am thankful that I can read a true life story of reality. I promise once I have completed your book I will give a proper review. Thank you for your patience.

I had to put it down while I was writing it...so I know exactly what you mean.

Hey Mary, usually I tell people that "Only God knows the answer to that question." I thought that was the best response that would not initiate more questions.

Paula, I am ready not to give an open answer like that anymore. I used to say things like that all the time and it just means that I will get asked again by the same people. There is an answer to that question now, and that answer is none! No reason to hide it, but don't want to share to much either.

wow, I admire your strength. I hope I can be that strong someday.

I will be honest and say I have never felt like the feminist movement shared my concerns, so I have largely tuned them out. But from what little I do know about today's feminism, it seems largely agenda driven. As we all know here, infertility isn't anyone's fault, it just is. We can't organize and demand change. Perhaps that explains the silence? ... Read MoreWe know the value of simply being able to talk to people who have experienced infertility, but until you've gone through it, that may not make sense. I am grateful that there are communities online where we can find one another and discuss our common bond. I think the more places available to have these discussions the better, but I can't say I am surprised that the feminist community is not interested in discussing what can't be conquered or overcome with an organized agenda.

I'd be interested to know what advice you would give to a young woman.

By all means, I encourage young women (and men) to be informed, to understand their individual fertility potential. There's continuum of fertility even in our prime child bearing years. A wealth of information is available and easily accessible. Women can learn more about the types of conditions that can inhibit fertility on sites such as Women's ... Read MoreHealth.gov, a site organized by the US Department of Health and Human Services: http://www.womenshealth.gov/faq/infertility.cfm, ... or there are dedicated sites that provide detailed information on conditions such as the International Premature Ovarian Association http://www.pofsupport.org/ or The Hormone Foundation http://www.hormone.org/Polycystic/ which covers Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, or The Endometriosis Foundation, http://www.endometriosisassn.org/
It's far better for young people to know their odds for conceiving so that decisions aren't taken away.