The Texanist
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Affiliation:
Texas Monthly
Location:
Austin, TX, 78767-1569
Phone:
512-320-6900
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Preston
Preston
Christina
Christina
Michelle
Michelle
 
The Texanist

The Texanist Pink camouflage, Floridian “friends,” a bedtime dilemma, and whether or
not it’s acceptable to mock Chileans for their flag’s similarity to
ours. It's all in the January 2010 Texanist column, which, if you're looking for in the print edition, now resides on the back page.

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. . . I saw a group of grown men shamelessly flaunting their pink camouflage hats and shirts . . .Illustration by Jack Unruh
Karen Atwood Austin
Karen Atwood Austin
I always love your advice!
December 17, 2009 at 5:38pm
The Texanist

The Texanist You've got confounding conundrums, prickly problems, and sticky situations. The Texanist has the antidotes. And just happens to be taking questions for the February and March editions. Let the Texanist help you.

December 8, 2009 at 8:39am
Kristen
Kristen
I have a neighbor whose blue heeler keeps getting out. Me and my neighbors have to lure him with treats back into his yard, about four times a day. Blue heelers are bred to run and herd. This dog just sits in the backyard all day long with nothing to do. Should I send an anonymous note to my neighbor that his dog is jumping the fence and digging holes because he is bored? Or should I just walk the damn dog myself?
December 8, 2009 at 9:41am
The Texanist

The Texanist would rather be at one of these fine places. It's Saturday, after all.

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Ever wonder what happened to the good old country dance halls, where the floors are packed with boot-scootin’ couples, the beer costs two bucks, and the folks at the table in the corner can tell stories all night? It’s all still out there. Follow me . . .
The Texanist

The Texanist on football jerseys in church, catfish heads on fence posts, spitting, and flaming Dr Pepper. All in the December issue.

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A: The Texanist will endeavor to put the answer to this question in terms that you will understand. As a devoted football fan, you are undoubtedly aware of the phrase “not in my house,” a defiant ...
The Texanist

The Texanist Beans. An ingredient in chili? Commenter Christopher from Spring says "yes," AFTER the Texanist just explained that it's a big no-no. Do you put beans in your chili?

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A: Unkempt grounds? Revolting garbage cans? All-night parties? Illegal day care? Unlawful rodent storage and disposal? During his adventures in the housing markets, the Texanist has dwelt in a variety of zip codes, some more savory than others, and has known many a neighborly disturbance. ...
Kevin Jutzi Crutchfield
Kevin Jutzi Crutchfield
Anybody that knows beans about chili knows chili ain't got no beans
November 17, 2009 at 8:55pm
Mark
Mark
Kevin, you've taught me a valuable new saying! I reckon you can cook up some chili, and you can make a pot of pintos, but never the twain shall meet, except maybe in the stomach!
November 18, 2009 at 12:36am
The Texanist

The Texanist , starting with Kate von der Porten in July 2007, has to date advised 93 people.

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Q: I was born and raised in Texas until age eight and then moved to Pittsburgh, after which I went to college in Arizona. Now living and working in New York City, I am confused as to the proper answer when asked, “Where are you from?” Kate von der Porten NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK
The Texanist
The Texanist
Please, Mack, inform away. And feel free to embellish or omit wherever you find it necessary. The Texanist thanks you.
November 12, 2009 at 9:58am
Carol Scott
Carol Scott
Dear Texanist, you are the BEST! Your Daddy would be proud!
November 12, 2009 at 12:03pm
The Texanist

The Texanist wants you to read his November column. And then let him know what you would do about ill-mannered neighbors.

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A: Unkempt grounds? Revolting garbage cans? All-night parties? Illegal day care? Unlawful rodent storage and disposal? During his adventures in the housing markets, the Texanist has dwelt in a variety of zip codes, some more savory than others, and has known many a neighborly disturbance. ...
Jack
Jack
Ernie.... we love ya, but that junkyard of yours makes us crazy!!!
October 21, 2009 at 3:18pm
Ashley Dickson Johnson
Ashley Dickson Johnson
Despite your usual acuity, you missed the sure-fire solution to the Alaska problem: move the son and grandkids to Texas and she'll be on board lickity-split. Unless the son makes a bad neighbor. And, as for neighbors, hope those darn neighbors you had in 76502 were tolerable afterall! ;-) Your dad did promise to get the shotgun on occasion, but luckily the truck was locked . . . .
October 21, 2009 at 9:17pm
The Texanist

The Texanist read about all of the aforementioned plays here.

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The TEXANIST reveals his authoritative, unimpeachable, and downright brilliant list of the top ten college football plays in Texas history (better luck next time, Baylor).
The Texanist

The Texanist there is no video for SMU's 1935 $85,000 pass against TCU, so here is the #1 play in Texas college football. UT's James Street and Randy Peschel in the 1969 barnburning game of the century.

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posted in the texanist’s top 10 college football plays [more from this topic] by patricia_mcconnico on Wednesday, September 9th at 11:59 AM.
The Texanist

The Texanist #3 features Jarrin' John Kimbrough, the Haskell Hurricane, putting the icing on the cake that was the Aggies' one and only national championship season. 1939. Pay attention at about the 1:15 mark.

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posted in the texanist’s top 10 college football plays [more from this topic] by patricia_mcconnico on Wednesday, September 9th at 11:59 AM.
The Texanist

The Texanist presents the fourth greatest football play in the history of Texas college football: fourth-and-five. Points deducted for VY's effortlessness. Watch it here.

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posted in the texanist’s top 10 college football plays [more from this topic] by patricia_mcconnico on Wednesday, September 9th at 11:58 AM.
The Texanist

The Texanist Michael Crabtree and Graham Harrell meet at the intersection of far sideline and destiny. The Texanist's #5 greatest play.

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posted in the texanist’s top 10 college football plays [more from this topic] by patricia_mcconnico on Wednesday, September 9th at 11:58 AM.
The Texanist

The Texanist is pouring out for Rusty Wier. RIP, Rusty.

Mack
Mack
Mr. The Texanist... Did you ever get to see Rusty at Sefcik Hall Seaton Texas?
October 9, 2009 at 9:14pm
The Texanist
The Texanist
Rusty Wier at Sefcik, no. David Zychek, yes.
October 12, 2009 at 6:26pm
The Texanist

The Texanist proclaims A&M's '98 Sirr Parker touchdown in double OT as the sixth greatest of all time. Have a look.

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posted in the texanist’s top 10 college football plays [more from this topic] by patricia_mcconnico on Wednesday, September 9th at 11:58 AM.
Rae Ann
Rae Ann
WHOOP!
October 2, 2009 at 3:05pm
The Texanist

The Texanist presents the seventh greatest play in the history of Texas college football as seen by himself. Get a load of those Aggies.

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posted in the texanist’s top 10 college football plays [more from this topic] by patricia_mcconnico on Wednesday, September 9th at 11:58 AM.