The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
Learning a lot about life by making a mess of my own.
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2005.
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The Pictures Make Me Look RetardedCreated on September 8, 2008 at 5:25am
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The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy

 
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
1) Maybe it's because he knows I'm going out of town, that he's unsettled by my own anxiety. Maybe he can sense that I'm conflicted about my decision to upend my life. Or maybe he just chewed the eyes off of his squeaky monkey...
Linda Erskine
Linda Erskine
Ever try to get regurgitated brown rice out of carpet? Yeah, I'm still working on it!
November 6 at 1:05pm
Bridget Meade
Bridget Meade
I just moved into a new house and my dog did the same thing. He made sure to go for the new carpet too. Ugh. Best of luck on your big move - I am a bit envious!
Sun at 12:40pm
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
There used to be a band called Semisonic--I say used to be because I'm reasonably sure all the members have long since started selling real estate or detachable gutters and doing things that don't require guitars...
Cappy
Cappy
N.C.'s loss, Seattle's gain - good luck!!
November 2 at 6:24pm
Meg
Meg
I hope you find what you need in Seattle... but I'm telling you, your fans on the east coast will be in mourning. As if a million voices suddenly cried out...and were silenced.
November 3 at 4:17am
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
My apartment building used to have so much promise. I remember when the realtor cheerfully pointed out the hardwood floors and the large windows before spending an inordinate amount of time on the stainless steel kitchen fixtures, as if I'd previously lived in a place without working faucets...
Kathryn
Kathryn
What a buttboil. Honestly. Who says stuff like that? I guarantee you this guy has been skating by on his good looks his whole life. He deserves a can of tuna masterfully hidden in his car. Asshat.
October 27 at 7:19pm
Kathryn
Kathryn
He probably jerks off to 98 degrees.
October 27 at 7:19pm
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
So that just happened.1 After a decade-plus of marveling at his songwriting, blasting Jesus of Cool loud enough to alienate my neighbors at six different addresses and wearing a Labour of Lust t-shirt that has--so far--outlasted all of my relationships, I finally FINALLY had the chance to see Nick...
Sara Simpson Martin
Sara Simpson Martin
Arthur Alexander...you are a very high caliber music nerd.
October 19 at 6:11am
David Brent Helton
David Brent Helton
i suppose you have seen that little doc film of robyn's where nick lowe joins him jamming in his living room...a friend and i were imagining a band of all the white haired fellas, robyn, nick, bill reiflin, maybe ian maclagen, who else would join in?
October 19 at 8:14am
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
Sara- My nerdiness knows no bounds.

David- I have seen it, when Nick provides backing vocals on the still-unreleased "Sicky Boy". I think John Paul Jones may have been there too.

And I'm sorry, you lost me at Robyn, Nick and Bill Rieflin. It's just like that one dream I had.
October 20 at 5:08am
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
My face was bloated and misshapen, like the slowly melting head of a late-March snowman. My smile--crooked and off-center even on my most presentable days--was punctuated by soda-stained teeth dropping haphazardly out of my gums.And my eyes.My eyes...
Marsha
Marsha
You have such an amazing way with words!!!! Love it!
October 16 at 6:58am
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
Aw, thank you guys for all the nice comments. That's pretty much my reason for crawling out of bed. That and the gnawing desire for a Diet Coke.
October 20 at 5:09am
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
Everything Grizzly Bear lead singer Ed Droste said was followed by a squealed “That’s so awesome!!” from the American Apparel-wrapped girls beside me, making me feel like I was standing in the middle of several thousand smiley emoticons.“That’s so awesome!”“OMG! So awesome!"Colon. Parenthesis....
Alison
Alison
you are so freakin' hilarious! this is fantastic.
October 12 at 7:25pm
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
Another Austin morning and another day of live music is coming as soon as I extract myself from this embroidered hotel robe and make my way back to Zilker Park. The first two days of the Austin City Limits festival have been excellent...
Stephanie Franks Eisner
Stephanie Franks Eisner
(in napoleon speak) LUCK-YYY
October 4 at 11:12am
Christy
Christy
Austin...you're in F-ing AUSTIN!?!?!?! You could drive 3 1/2 hours (roughly) toward home & be in HOUSTON visiting me! Oh, how much my life would change from miserable-9-month-preggo-me to ecstatic-to-meet-&-chill-w/-America's-best-blogging-comic!!! *sigh* But alas, you probably won't. (unless you do just to spite me, in which case I LOVE YOU!!!)
October 4 at 12:11pm
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
Stephanie: Neither you nor Napoleon would be jealous of the nasty mud mess I just tracked into the hotel...or the one that I have to pack in my suitcase. GOSH!

Christy: Aw, one of these days I'll come to Houston to see you and the sure-to-be-awesome Baby Wheeler!
October 4 at 8:04pm
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
I used to collect baseball cards as a kid, tearing into countless Topps wax packs and shoving the broken shards of flavorless bubblegum into my mouth before shuffling through all seventeen cards. I always hoped to unwrap a Wade Boggs or a Bo Jackson but always got, like, a Billy Jo Robidoux instead...
Kathryn
Kathryn
Can't wait to read your take on ACL. Wish I were going!
October 1 at 2:16pm
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
I spent the first part of the week making my way through a borrowed copy of Joshua Ferris' And Then We Came To The End, a novel that was in my opinion over-hyped and under-hilarious. My reasons for disliking the book are less important than the reason it was recommended to me in the first place...
Seeta Mangra-Stubbs
Seeta Mangra-Stubbs
"Instead she held the door open, teaching me that the 'ALARM WILL SOUND' sign was just for show, much like the fake cameras in the corner or the unneeded underwire loitering around the bottom of her bra. Her cup? Half empty."

Best line ever.
September 25 at 7:09am
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
Kathryn: That's cool. I'll send you part of this Best Friend necklace I bought at the mall. Do you want BE FRI or ST END?

Christy: Yes! I kinda got sidetracked, didn't I?

Seeta: Well, thanks. It's funny because it's true.
September 26 at 11:17pm
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
I've got a nightmare problem. The problem, obviously, is that I have them, and spend a portion of almost every night being dragged through the sketchier neighborhoods of my subconscious...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
You guys are super helpful... I may take one of my old t-shirts (nothing that says R.E.M. across the chest) and let him have it as a blankie. Hopefully, this'll keep him from rummaging through my secrets while I sleep...
September 16 at 7:48pm
Debra
Debra
Good luck. It wouldn't work with my dogs though. They just like the "fresh" stuff. They particularly like the underwear. Yikes.
September 17 at 7:27am
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
Here's my eagerly anticipated Maid of Honor outfit. No, my actual dress won't be blaze orange, not unless the reception program has been restructured to include deer hunting...
Ann Blanchard
Ann Blanchard
YOU have such style and grace. Please forward some of your fashion tips.
September 9 at 10:51pm
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
The actual color of the dress is something called Watermelon... the actual colors of my boots will remain brown.
September 10 at 5:35am
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
I'm just about ready to take it to the streets, Pointer Sisters-style, and head home for the weekend.1 As soon as I lug my suitcase to my car and drop Pigpen off at his luxury accommodations2 it'll be time to weave in and out of traffic as I try to reach the neon orange peanut butter cracker I...
Stephanie Franks Eisner
Stephanie Franks Eisner
great as always, and coincidentally I'm wearing that REM WORK tee as I type!
September 4 at 9:29am
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
Kathryn & Melissa- Thanks... it was a swell time!

Rommie- Sometimes I think we're the same person.

Stephanie- You are automatically my new best friend.
September 8 at 9:26am
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
On Friday, I'll be packing my three favorite R.E.M. t-shirts and tearing up I-77 toward my hometown to visit my wonderful parents and their hateful little dog...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
So tomorrow night--Thursday night--I'll be telling jokes (pictured, above left) at The Garage in downtown Winston-Salem (kind-of pictured, above right). The show starts at 9:30, which means you should be dangerously close to soiling the upholstery by 9:34...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
So this weekend was somewhat of a rarity in that I changed out of my sweat-wicking fabrics and actually had Things to Do on both Friday and Saturday nights, things that didn't involve licking Cool Ranch seasonings from my fingernails, ThermaCare HeatWraps, and watching Dateline reruns about trophy...
Amy
Amy
Loved this one.
August 24 at 1:14pm
Jane Rathke Schexnayder
Jane Rathke Schexnayder
you are funny. add 12? years to your age at least, name yourself jane, and try it again :-)
August 24 at 5:56pm
Jane Rathke Schexnayder
Jane Rathke Schexnayder
p.s. i promise i won't wear a TUBE top. m'allright, but can i i peezhavanuthashotakeela?
August 24 at 6:59pm