The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
Learning a lot about life by making a mess of my own.

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The Pictures Make Me Look RetardedCreated about 10 months ago
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The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy

 
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
My car is always a disaster. Between the Wendy's logo foil that lines the floorboards and the crumpled Krispy Kreme napkins that ride shotgun, there's enough evidence of my destructive personal habits to save the CSI team some paperwork when my aorta eventually explodes...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
I was thirteen the last time I threw up...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
At one point, Chris Stamey talked about the joy of marriage and how it’s provided inspiration for his recent songwriting. “This one is dedicated to my wife,” he said before playing “To Be Loved”...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
On Tuesday night, my friend L. and I joined approximately five hundred of our closest friends at Barnes & Noble for an in-store appearance by David Sedaris...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
I just got an automated phone call, the kind where a disembodied voice mangles my last name almost as completely as something with a central nervous system, the kind I usually ignore because they always involve phrases like "overdue" or "legal action".Today's installment wasn't any better...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
I have a very elaborate system of doing laundry, with countless exits on the road between Clean and Dirty. Typically whichever band t-shirt I wear as I procrastinate and loiter around my apartment is the shirt I'll sweat through at the gym the next day...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
OK, so Day One of Bonnaroo is in the patchouli-scented bag and—other than the creeping realization that I’ll be loofa-ing dried mud off my lower half for the next several months—I managed to survive reasonably unscathed.I merged onto I-40 West around 6:30 yesterday morning with an overstuffed...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
My car is packed (again) and I'm ready to hit the road (again) for yet another six and a half hour drive. I'm on my way to Bonnaroo to report on the action for London-based BitchBuzz.com. It's their first U.S. music festival coverage, so here's hoping I don't screw it up...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
1) On Saturday night, I went with some friends to see Sam Raimi's latest creepfest Drag Me To Hell. It's the story of a Pam Beesly-ish bank drone who pisses off an elderly gypsy, which is a bigger no-no than taking a handful of Starlite mints from the teller window...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
Author's Note: This was originally posted Friday on Tumblr but, really, I feel like I need to share my awkwardness with the widest possible audience, in the hopes that eventually I'll be shamed into acting like a Real Human.Gentlemen, start your cringe-ines.__________The coffee shop downstairs has...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
So last weekend I hit the road immediately after Dunkin Donuts opened their drive-through window and a trio of Boston Cremes and I spent just under six hours in the car on the way to Pittsburgh...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
The past week has been liberally basted with Lame when it comes to posting...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
So I drove to Pittsburgh this weekend to meet some of my favorite Twitter people1 and because I needed to ensure that my car will smell like Cool Ranch Doritos and gas station coffee for the next several months...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
Morning, kids. The sunlight is highlighting all of the places on the floor where I've spilled soy sauce or tracked the Outside World onto the carpet and we're being assaulted by midsummer-style temperatures, with a humidity level rarely seen outside unventilated laundromats. So what am I doing...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
I talked to all of three people yesterday, not including a one-sided conversation with my building's New Vagrant in which I told him that I understood that he had to battle the demons coming out of his face but would appreciate if he could do it more quietly.Last weekend, I noted a reasonably...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
The fact that I'm titling posts using Rick Ross lyrics should give you sufficient insight into my mindset. Things have been hectic here at The Money Pit1 because life as a freelancer can either be Feast or Ramen and right now I'm running out of seasoning packets...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
This is my new jam, yo. Also, dig my bedhead and ringer tee. Yes, gentlemen, this could be yours.Thanks to everyone for their input concerning my itchiness, all the stories, suggestions and remedies...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy

The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy has chugged half a bottle of Children's Benedryl. Goodnight, Moon.

Shelly
Shelly
Mmmmm...good stuff!
I read your blog the other day and was excited to see my friend" Ms. Changes Pants While Driving" ask you some questions. She was my blogger friend and the a bunch of us actually met in person. Come over to the west coast sometime and party with all of us (San Diego or Vegas).
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
Last night I went to the gym and--since I'd sucked down 32 ounces of artificially-flavored energy drinks--I made a pit stop in the Ladies' room before making the epic quarter-mile trip back to my house...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
OK, hang with me everyone because I swear this is going to be the last running-related post for a while. After this, I'll go back to bungling things and seeing how many pieces of popcorn shrimp I can eat at once and whining about the tumbleweeds rolling out of my vajay...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
Seventeen minutes. That's how much slower I was this year compared to last year's Boston Marathon, a difference of about 40 seconds per mile...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
The good news? I survived my second Boston Marathon.The less good? My post race activities involved a ninety minute stay in the medical tent with a hypothermic body temperature that was hovering around iguana levels. Also, my left Achilles tendon gave up at mile 11.The bestest...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
Hey, everybody, check out my poor-quality Photobooth picture, taken in my drab hotel room with its spinach-colored walls. I'm getting ready to leave the hotel, grab a nutritious jelly-filled breakfast, then get on the bus that takes us the 26 (.2) miles to Hopkinton...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
Good morning from Massachussets Masachusets Massachusetts, a state I still can't type without giving a Google-assisted spell check. Did you mean Massachusetts? Yeah, that's the one...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
Author's Note: This is the companion piece to an article I wrote for BitchBuzz. It was way too easy to spill several thousand words about this man's music so I split it in half, King Solomon-style...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
I made the mistake of walking into Sephora1 today which meant I spent ten minutes staring helplessly at my oversized pores in a hand mirror, half expecting to see Buzz Aldrin bounding between the craters on my face before planting a flag in the middle of my forehead.Meanwhile, a flawless store...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
1) I got a call yesterday from the tanning salon informing me that they'd made a billing mistake before I axed my account so they owed me a free month of what they call "Unlimited Bronzing" but I've found is closer to "Accidentally Scorching Yourself"...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
At around 7 a.m. last Wednesday, I dropped the dog off at what I euphemistically refer to as Camp Buttsniff, immediately tie-dyed my white t-shirt with a large Krispy Kreme coffee and set the GPS for my second Morrissey concert of Oh Eight...
The Typing Makes Me Sound Busy
After 13 hours in the car, four packages of pizza-flavored Combos and enough caffeine to kill an apatosaurus, I'm back from Columbus and the GREATEST CONCERT EVER...