Tiernan Douieb

Got to do the best 3 minutes of my Edinburgh show for the Chortle Fast Fringe Show tonight. 3 minutes is a rather short amount of time. They say that an audience knows whether they like you or not within the first 30 seconds of stage time, which may well be true...

Do you know what I'm doing today? NOTHING! You hear me? Nothing at all. Absolutely zilch. I mean, not actually nothing, because that would be impossible. I will still be doing some breathing, sitting and eating and those are technically doing things...

I am about to go any play squash with Tom Craine. I've never played squash before, and worse than that, I haven't played any sports or had any sort of exercise for quite some time. There is a high chance that I am going to injure or kill myself today...

I'm a bit wasted today. Not for any reason in particular, the most I consumed last night was a shandy, which hasn't been potent enough to cause any debilitating effect since I was about 9...

Its a bit bloody hot isn't it? That's what everyone keeps feeling the need to tell me as though I haven't quite noticed. I suppose it gives them something to talk about when otherwise they would be stumbling for a starting point to conversations...

This is a pre-written blog as I'll be far too busy tomorrow to hack one out. Instead I am writing this in the leisure of my flat after a rather stupid afternoon, whilst watching the Glastonbury highlights...

Moments if human kindness are a rarity in London on a weekend. They can often be shocking and should sometimes come with a warning of sorts, just incase it evokes emotions that people aren't ready to deal with...

I haven't had much sleep which should mean I'm feeling deliriously tired and generally grumpy, but oddly I am wide awake and rather chirpy. I assume this is to do with sunshine and being so deliriously tired I haven't yet realised I am deliriously tired...

I've just had a small stroll to the Post Office to collect a package. The postman tried to deliver it at 9.30am two days ago, knowing full well I am not up at such a time. Then instead of giving me enough time to don suitable door opening atire, he rang the bell once then scarpered...

About 25 minutes ago, a delivery man from Virgin Wines appeared at my door with a package that he said was for me. I gave him a very surprised look, which may have given it away that I was not expecting such a delivery, but was rather pleased with it...

Some different things to address today. Its almost like a bulletin list for a monthly general meeting. I am doing this because yesterday was fairly uneventful...

Some different things to address today. Its almost like a bulletin list for a monthly general meeting. I am doing this because yesterday was fairly uneventful...

I have woken up with full hayfever symptoms today. I'm not sure how as my bedroom does not appear to have any flowers or pollen in it at all. I mean that is, as far as I know...

I have woken up with full hayfever symptoms today. I'm not sure how as my bedroom does not appear to have any flowers or pollen in it at all. I mean that is, as far as I know...

Again today's blog will be tiny. In a moment I shall be rushing off to help film Dan Antopolski's music video for his Sandwich Rap. If you haven't heard it, you're an idiot. Or just have possibly never seen him live. Or you're an idiot who hasn't seen him live...

Another stupid busy day today. I seem to have willingly booked these in for the next few days all the way until Thursday. I have decided that this means Thursday will be reserved for staying in bed as long as possible until someone makes me get out of bed...

Again today's blog will be tiny. In a moment I shall be rushing off to help film Dan Antopolski's music video for his Sandwich Rap. If you haven't heard it, you're an idiot. Or just have possibly never seen him live. Or you're an idiot who hasn't seen him live...

I'm writing this blog on my iPhone on the tube. This it people I'm blogging on the go. I don't think I will ever use that term again. It sounds a bit grim...