Virtue Trap

Virtue Trap Consider the state of VT: An ostensible "Rock and Roll" band, but this week one guy purchased a house (and not to keep his guitar collection in, but to live in), another celebrated his one-year wedding anniversary (with a party that did not end in a 2am front-lawn brawl, a rarity for College Park), a third spend the T...hanksgiving break installing quarter round, and the last put up the Christmas tree early this year.

This, folks, is not the profile of a rock band. It’s a Moose Lodge. Heck, it isn’t even a Moose Lodge, since a Moose Lodge has beer. We have light beer and “better not, gotta get up early tomorrow to sort the recycling.”

So it is with a certain desperate audacity that we invite you out on Friday night to hear us play rock and roll, a music that is supposed to capture the loud desperation of youth, the soundtrack to the ride to mansions of glory in suicide machines, the sound of fighting for your right to party.

But hold on—why is the rock and roll lifestyle necessary for genuine rock and rolling? After all, when Led Zep claimed they were walking side by side with death, the devil mocking every step, they were actually living large, young and pretty. When Nirvana whined about being so lonely they shaved their heads they were rich enough to buy some really loyal friends. And don’t give that “Kurt proved you can be lonely in an arena full of people” crap. That’s the stuff they pay Casey Casem to say so you’ll buy the “All Apologies” cassingle even thought you already own that song on In Utero and on the MTV Unplugged soundtrack.

So how about this—we’ll rock harder because we are so utterly un-rock and roll, like Weezer without the self-aggrandizement, like Beck without the hypocrisy. That’s right, baby, four guys too old and prosperous to keep the edge will actually prove that age and prosperity is what gives you the edge. We WILL ROCK YOU WITHIN AN INCH OF OUR HELOCS!

See you Friday.