Virtue Trap

We normally hype this first show of the semester by talking about new beginnings and the returns of the students and how nice it is to be back, right?

But last week VT lead singer Arne Flaten tore up his ankle participating in some undisclosed but apparently dangerous activity and is now wearing what looks like a ski bo...ot. Yep, a bad sprain with lots of ligament damage.

But we in VT, being avid Fox News viewers, have heard that in cases like this the current repressive regime will convene some kind of tribunal to decide how and when Arne is to be killed and added to the soylent green vats. Now we don’t want the government making life and death decisions, that being the proper province of operations like AIG, but it is true that Arne is like a thoroughbred. If you lame him, you must put him down.

So between songs, we will be asking you, our fanatical followers, to act as an Ad Hoc Death Panel. We’ll do it just like Obama’s thugs have laid it out: endless hearings, confusing paperwork, and finally the cold grip of death. Should Arne be dispatched between the first and second sets? Perhaps at the end of the show? In the parking lot, but only after he helps move the heaviest equipment?

We’ll also invite the Death Panel participants to choose the nature of Arne’s demise, and our sources (talk radio) tell us that only the most inhumane euthanasia methods will be available, so bring a sack full of pennies or a copy of “Jonathan Livingston Seagull” to help the pain last as long as possible.

We’ll miss Arne, but he’s really only half a man right now, and if we don’t do this, those bureaucrats in Washington will do it for us.
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