Will Franken
Co-author of The Matthew Shepard Bill; a campy off-Broadway gay revue about the passing of The Matthew Shepard Bill. Starring Flamenco Darling as Senator Regina Lotrimin (AEA) and Sissy Twofingers as House Representative Burnt Fist (SAG)
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所屬組織:
Libertarian Party
地點:
New York, NY
生日:
6月30日
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Will Franken於 2008年8月28日 20:16 建立
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Will Franken

Will Franken believes in the healing power of meat. "Whether we are concerned about our relationships, our finances, or our meat," says the Dhali Loin, "Meat can unlock the door to our innermost stomach. . .With wars, conflicts, and knife-fights threatening our global stability, knocking out a fattened calf with a sledgehammer betw......een the eyes and slitting his throat can mean the difference between life and peace.

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星期二 16:16
Will Franken
Will Franken
So you believe "life" and "peace" are opposites?
星期二 16:17
Will Franken
Will Franken
Hell, yes. Life is active division. Peace is harmonious death.
星期二 16:17
Will Franken

Will Franken is not speaking badly of other shows he's done this year, nor is he placing undue expectations on the upcoming shows he has in December; but last night's show at the Veteran's Hall in downtown Santa Cruz was the best show of 2009.

11月22日 9:18
Will Franken
Will Franken
God bless ya, Nancy! No worries -- I ended up crashing at one of the producer's houses. He had a lot of Guitar Weekly magazines with great articles on Black Sabbath! Give my best to Kingston and the gang!
星期二 16:18
Will Franken

Will Franken performs tonight at the Vets Hall in beautiful Santa Cruz!

11月21日 9:48
Will Franken

Will Franken Will Franken performs tomorrow night at the Vets Hall in Santa Cruz -- home of beach, ocean, "Lost Boys" movie, and roller costers. More information can be found at http://willfranken.com/ (for the show) or http://www.ci.santa-cruz.ca.us/ (for the city of Santa Cruz).

willfranken.com
Official website of highly-acclaimed comedian Will Franken, and home of his award-winning podcast, Things We Did Before Reality.
Will Franken
Will Franken
Actually, it features "People Are Strange" -- saw the trailer last night; they actually call it "Santa Carla" for some reason.
星期二 16:19
Will Franken

Will Franken is praying for Obama; Psalm 109:8

11月18日 17:31
Will Franken
Will Franken
I wouldn't pray for his death, but I would be glad to have somebody a little less socialist and globally-compromised in office. For example, his apology to the Muslim world in Cairo.

Because I'm a lot less worried about Christian terrorism than Muslim. And I think if you asked most homosexuals and women, whether they'd rather live among Christian fundamentalists or Islamic fundamentalists, they'd agree. On average, a fundamentalist Christian will tell a homosexual they're going to burn in hell. A fundamentalist Muslim will cite Koranic scripture to hang them from a crane in the town square. A fundamentalist Christian may say that a wife should be subservient to her husband. A fundamentalist Muslim will cite Koranic scripture to stone a woman to death for getting raped and not producing four male witnesses to testify she wasn't committing adultery. Maybe things weren't always that way -- but the truth is that things have changed for one religion and not for the other. Nobody's perfect, to be sure. But some are more perfect than others.

And once Obama starts acting like America is more perfect than the rest of the globe and dispenses with this "citizen of the world" nonsense, I'll be a little more at ease with his presidency. I'm proud to be an American and I hate globalism. And Obama is the most flagrant globalist we've ever had in office. To be sure, George Bush was also a globalist, as was Clinton and the first Bush before him. But Obama is much more naked about it; acting as if to prostitute the country out to slaveholders like China is a virtuous deed. ...... 詳全文

And by the way, how quick was he to sell out the gays when he knew it was no longer politically expedient? Remember Stonewall, my friend.
11月20日 17:49
Will Franken

Will Franken has decided to put on 400 pounds, so when people ask him why he can't get a date, he can say, "I'm over 400 pounds." When they remind him that he also couldn't get a date before he was over 400 pounds, he can say: "I know. That was the problem. I couldn't find the reason. After two years, I had to erase the ambiguity b......efore I blew my fucking brains out. But now it's all settled. I'm over 400 pounds. Want some pasta?"

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11月17日 1:39
Will Franken

Will Franken has been depressed all day about a dream he had last night. He was in Purgatory and he had been there for 101 earth years. What made the dream especially frightening is that Will Franken actually believes in Purgatory.

11月16日 16:25
Will Franken
Will Franken
Martin Luther, definitely. In fact, he lamented before his death that instead of getting rid of one pope, he created thousands.

Adolph Hitler may have been raised a Catholic, but he certainly shed his religion by the time he ascended to power. He replaced the crosses in the churches with swastikas and ordered priests to give copies of Mein Kampf to newlyweds. Moreover, the number of Catholics who were executed at the hands of the Nazis for practicing their faith and protesting the murder of the Jews is evidence enough of Hitler's worship of himself and the fatherland alone. If the Nazi state had any religion, it was Norse paganism (one of the only "religions" the Fuhrer Hitler ever claimed to admire) In fact, he commissioned Himmler to redesign every major German city in ancient Teutonic pagan fashion. The myth of Hitler being a devout Catholic at the time of his furher-ship has been used erroneously to make non-verifiable claims that Christianity is somehow a "dangerous" religion. Hitler hated Christianity almost as much as he hated Judaism -- for he knew it would be too much competition for him.

The communists, obviously, looked upon religion in the same manner. Interestingly enough, when Hitler decided to finally invade Russia, Joseph Stalin temporarily allowed the churches to be reopened in order to inspire the masses to dig ditches and build fortifications for the coming onslaught. Even a duplicitous murderer like Stalin, when faced with disaster, was willing to let a little Christ back into the world. Not so with Hitler. He worshiped himself devoutly up until the day he blew his brains out in a bunker below Berlin. ...... 詳全文

After WWII, it was said that Americans wanted Christ without the Cross, while the Nazis and the Communists wanted the Cross without Christ.
11月21日 14:03
Will Franken

Will Franken is going to tell Sadie to get some dark clothes and a knife and go with Tex to visit the people responsible for him being unable to post comments on Facebook. "Do whatever Tex tells you," he'll say, "and remember, if you love somebody, kill them. There's no death in love. Love means never having to say you're sorry for...... sticking a fork in the belly of a pregnant woman."

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11月15日 13:58
Will Franken

Will Franken play the Sacramento Comedy Spot tonight at 8pm.

11月14日 14:08
Will Franken

Will Franken registered his wireless number at att.com and got a free ring tone for his efforts. He selected Judas Priest's "You Got Another Thing Coming" and has been waiting all fucking day for someone to call him.

11月13日 16:14
Will Franken

Will Franken is going to be on Capitol Public Radio (an NPR affiliate) in Sacramento, circa 10:40 to 11:00 this morning; KXJZ 90.9 FM on your dial.

11月13日 9:51
Will Franken

Will Franken said to the Socialist, "Wasn't that cool how those rescue workers were able to save the woman and baby from that overturned automobile?" "I guess," snorted the Socialist, "if you don't think about the profit motive that's involved." "Excuse me?" asked Will Franken. "Hello!!" said the Socialist, "They ARE getting paid!!......!" Will gave him a bitch-slap. And the world was Libertarian once again.

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11月12日 14:27
Will Franken

Will Franken wishes all those who have served--and are serving--our nation in uniform a happy Veterans' Day. He also hopes the United States Marine Corps had a happy 234th birthday yesterday. And may God Almighty, through His brave servants, continue to preserve our nation's sovereignty against all enemies; both foreign and, especially, domestic.

11月11日 8:48
Will Franken

Will Franken would now like to demonstrate how much he analyzes things before consenting to act. He wants to loan a girl one of his C. S. Lewis books, but he wants to find the one that has the most underlined passages in it, so she can learn more about what Will Franken thinks about what C.S. Lewis thinks than what C.S. Lewis thinks. Sort of a deep shallowness, I suppose.

11月10日 21:34
Will Franken

Will Franken JUST FOUND OUT THAT ON FEBRUARY 22ND, THE LEIPZIG ORCHESTRA IS COMING TO SAN FRANCISCO TO PERFORM HIS TWO FAVORITE BEETHOVEN PIECES OF ALL TIME!!!!! A DOUBLE-HEADER!!!!! THE 7TH SYMPHONY AND THE MOTHERFUCKING EMPEROR PIANO CONCERTO!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! IN ONE FUCKING NIGHT!!!!!!!

11月10日 17:10
Will Franken
Will Franken
Man, am I excited! I've been wanting to see the Emperor for quite some time -- I air piano to it all the time. But the tux is for NYE at the Herbst!
11月10日 21:24