When my children were young I studied their psychological makeup using astrology to highlight the non-obvious. Some tendencies came from each of us parents. Strategies used this way were more personalised to each child while providing an ...understanding beyond the surface of things...giving a motive for actions not easily understandable. Strategies are best applied to re-balance and give understanding to the child. There is no quick fix...no perfect set of strategies. A strategy may counter a particular motive in one child but not work in another. The holistic soul approach is by far the best to recognize unique motives and talents. How one thinks, act, desires, visualizes, etc is so unique.See More

oh...never once used any of those things. I don't agree with them at all. I think they teach kids to stop listening to their inner voice and I believe they take power away from children. I believe it is the beginning of a child shutting dow...n so that they conform to what others want/expect of them. I believe it is humiliating for a child and very confusing. Those things feel arbitrary to me. I believe a child learns by asking questions when they are ready and by observing those around them. If mom and dad don't use sticker charts or get time outs why should a child? I believe it makes a child feel less important and that they have no say in their lives. In my opinion, these things are used for the parents convenience and to attempt to make a child obedient. yuck! I could go on and on but I think you get the idea of my opinion on this! lol!See More

Right out of college I entered a doctoral program in clinical psychology with a focus on families and children. Much of what we learned and practiced was behavioral or cognitive behavioral interventions, as these are the easiest to researc...h and have been shown to be effective (as I am sure you know.). At the time I did not question the wisdom of these interventions because I was 22 and had not yet developed much "consciousness" myself. Now as a 35 year old mother of 3 I have many questions about these approaches and have a hard time reconciling the data I studied with my own experiences and beliefs as a parent and a person. I did not finish by PhD but I am working toward my license in counseling and I have to reconcile all this for myself before I begin to practice. In terms of my own children I have been known to use a sticker chart or two but have come to believe that there are many other more effective and nurturing ways to understand and work with a child's behavior, which is often a necessary expression of an emotion or need that we should not rush to "modify." sorry so long winded! Complicated issue. See More

I think the biggest thing that 'works' is modeling. I have encouraged my lo to use deep breathing and after she saw me do it, (she would even suggest it when I was seeming frustrated) now she does it without encouragement or suggestion. It'...s really cute (she's 2). Of course we will see how long her behaviors match mine, but through observation of others is where she has learned so much.
I also am getting my bs in human development and have read a 'strategy' that is 3+'s and a request, and that seems to work often but not every time. And when it comes to 'getting her to do what I want" it often helps to somehow make it her idea (as if she was a man-lol). If that is too vague let me know and I can be more specific.See More