Ride the Mustache!
Information
- Location:
- Brooklyn, NY, 11205
- Birthday:
- 1972
Your welcome bitches. I just put AMERICA'S-MOST-BAD-ASSED-PANTY-DROPPINIST-COLD-SMACKING-FOOLS-WORD-UP-MOFUCKY band in all the land back together. Yes. J-Stache, once again, not only starting the fire but smoking the bacon that saves your breakfast...
I can't stress this enough, nerds need to be isolated and shamed into coolness. When they get into groups, they spend all kinds of time making homemade superhero costumes, hoping it will translate into nailing their Molly Ringwald inspired crush. This is painfully untrue...
TRANSLATION:------------Dear J-Stache,My Mom says you gave here a special gift...so I'm writing to you with my Hanukkah list. Thanks!1) $100 savings bond2) Super Bots Lego3) a Green Day poster (signed)I trust you to make up whatever for the other 5 nights. Thanks, Jeremy Burnbaum...
J Stache Alright suckas! TONITE! Follow along with me and the boys from Crave Online as we live-tweet during Weekend at Bernie's. The festivities begin at 10 pm EST.
www.twitter.com
Do you like mustachioed nuts? Let me salt your lip sweetie. Yes, it's me. I made John Oates famous but I'm stuck Tweeting with you douches.
J Stache
I present to you my first annual award of filmed excellence in the field of mustachery - the Staschies.
ALSO! This Saturday hit me up on Twitter (www.twitter.com/jstache). Me and Crave Online are going to half-soberly live-tweet a viewing of Weekend at Bernie's, so feel free to join in. Read more at the link below.
bit.ly
So after our poon-tang master class last week, it seems that these Crave Online nerds finally got their willies wet, and it was decided we needed to celebrate in the most natural method possible.
When you're a celebrity, you have to be careful who you slide down the whiskey slide with. This is a lesson I've had to learn the hard way...
J Stache By the way, my boy Oatesie put out a box set today. You can check out a bunch of songs on AOL today, let 'er rip.
bit.ly
Listen to new music releases for free in their entirety every week. New albums on full CD Listening Parties are brought to you by AOL Music.
J Stache I told PopDose.com all my dirty little secrets, and those wankers decided to put it on the interwebs for all of you to read.
popdose.com
In a Popdose Interview not for the faint of heart, we probe the hairy mind of the one and only J-Stache.
J Stache
Now that you've got the moves, it's high time they get put to use. http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment
www.craveonline.com
By now, you're feeling a bit more like the man you can become and less like the doucher you've been by birthright. Credit me with showing you where the keys to the kingdom are located.
With all that yelling and spandex, can it be any wonder that the so many spates in sports breaks out into full man on man Brokeback-ed-ness? These macho men have been giving artsy types like me a hard time for decades. Why...
J Stache I'm in it to win it, punks! Vote J-Stache in the American Mustache Institute's Mustached American of the Year, if you know what's good for you.
www.americanmustacheinstitute.org
American Mustache Institute - Protecting the rights of, and fighting discrimination against, mustached Americans by promoting the growth, care, and culture of the mustache.
I need to make one thing abundantly clear: I AM ONLY DOING THIS FOR THE WEED...
J Stache In this week's installment of my Guide to Stache Style, I discuss cars, Billy Ocean, Oprah, and Chinese fish markets. Enjoy.
www.craveonline.com
In the immortal sonnet of the traditional Trinidadian poet Mr. Billy Ocean, “get out of my dreams, and into my car.” These are the words of a man who knows what he wants and how to get it, and you know what they say about a guy who wears big coats: they get a lot of ass.
J Stache Hi, I'm J-Stache, and I approve this message. Vote Oates!!
americanmustacheinstitute.org
American Mustache Institute - Protecting the rights of, and fighting discrimination against, mustached Americans by promoting the growth, care, and culture of the mustache.
