Eowyn's Story of Discrimination
Displaying all 3 posts.
Post #1
Tie Dye Project for Autism wroteon April 14, 2009 at 5:54pm
My daughter is my only little girl....I have 3 sons as well....she is my only child on the autism spectrum. We sometimes call her princess autism because she dances and twirls through life.
She is now 6 and doing so well. She was diagnosed at 3 but we knew there were issues when she regressed at 16 months. She went from a happy healthy baby to a non verbal screaming, spinning child no one knew.
At the time our story took place my miracle of a child had come from non - semi verbal, was 5 years old and was attending kindergarden. She was used to eating out in restaurants as we did it every couple of weeks and we had never had a problem.
Here is a copy of the letter I wrote to the restaurant the day of the incident:
2008-07-05
Smitty’s Canada
To Whom it May Concern;
I am writing to you to relay the inappropriate way in which my daughter, who has special needs, and my family, was treated by your staff at the Smitty’s Restaurant located at 18320 Stony Plain Road, Edmonton Alberta. The incident occurred during breakfast hours on Saturday July 5, 2008.
My family of 6, 2 adults and 4 children stay at the Travelodge in Edmonton 4-5 times each year and dine at your restaurant for breakfast every visit. We do this for the sake of continuity as well as convenience. My 5-year-old daughter Eowyn has Autism and routine is very important to her. As you might imagine, travelling is very stressful for her and the change is hard to deal with. The Travelodge hotel and the Smitty’s restaurant have become familiar to her over the past couple of years.
This morning she ordered her usual Pizza for breakfast...another reason we choose Smitty’s is its ability to feed her odd tastes at odd hours. Today however, pizza was unavailable. This was upsetting to Eowyn and took her some time to process. Your waitress was very understanding and didn’t seem disturbed at all...I explained my daughter had autism (she was even wearing a shirt that stated the fact), and she would calm in a few minutes, another waitress offered us coloring. The distraction did not work, although appreciated.
My daughter may look like a normal five year old, but the behaviour she was exhibiting was similar to a 2 year old throwing a tantrum. She was crying and pulling her hair. We gave her some deep pressure massage and she had stopped pulling her hair...a sign the episode was almost over. We are in no way trying to say she was not making some noise and fuss, we are simply saying that the episode was not behavioural it was symptomatic, under control, and on the way to being stopped.
This is when the Greeter/Manager...Itesh Kumav approached and demanded we take her out of the restaurant. I have never seen anyone ever ask anyone ask any parent to remove a crying child from a restaurant, and so I was shocked and asked why? He responded that another table was threatening to leave without paying? My husband’s non diplomatic response was to tell the other table to “suck it up” I immediately interjected and tried to explain the situation. My daughter has autism; she will be calm in a few minutes now that her food is here...Mr. Kumav’s response was still that she had to leave. I said that this was not acceptable. She could not help the way she was, she was upset because the restaurant did not have pizza. She would be calm in a minute.
And his response...and I quote, believe me I can’t get his words out of my mind “If she is autistic and this is how she acts, you shouldn’t take her out in public”
We immediately stood up and removed our family from the restaurant. I stopped at the front to get his name and the Manager’s name, Dave Hudson and a phone number to reach him 483.6457, which turned out to be the restaurant’s number which was of no use to me as I tried to reach him to talk to him only to be told I couldn’t speak to him until Monday.
I have contacted the following press agencies about this incident: Edmonton Journal and CBC news and have done interviews with both. I have contacted my local Autism Advocacy group and will be looking to see if there is any applicable and reasonable legal action to be taken. I will also be contacting the better business bureau to place a complaint.
When Mr. Kunav, an employee and representative of Smitty’s restaurant told me that my daughter should not be taken out in public I felt as though I had been slapped across the face. My daughter is learning how to act in public, and she can’t help that her brain processes things slowly and that it is painful while this happens and that is why she cries, my daughter has as much right to be in public as any other child.
It is very difficult to parent a child let alone one with autism or other special needs. If my daughter is treated this way, who else is also treated this way by others who work for your restaurants? It is very important to me that all people with special needs are treated with respect. Your restaurant has not shown this to my child or my family, and thus, I must be concerned about others as well.
I look forward to a response from you in the near future. If you wish to respond by phone before the 9th of July we are at (780) 5---------after that we can be reached at our home number.
Sincerely
Sarah and Michael Seymour
After this incident they responded quickly with phone calls since I had contacted the media. We had national coverage with TV news, papers, and talk radio interviews in the following week and they were anxious to make us happy.
They agreed to sensitiviy training for all staff in the whole city. They taught them how to recognize people with autism and how to treat people with all abilities wtih respect.
They also became a corporat sponsor for the autism speaks walk for Autsm in Edmonton last fall selling puzzle pieces that people could write their names on for $1 in each location and raised $7000 for the walk.
We made lemon-aide out of lemons, but it was a stressful and avoidable situation. No person should be treated the way my daughter was.
She is now 6 and doing so well. She was diagnosed at 3 but we knew there were issues when she regressed at 16 months. She went from a happy healthy baby to a non verbal screaming, spinning child no one knew.
At the time our story took place my miracle of a child had come from non - semi verbal, was 5 years old and was attending kindergarden. She was used to eating out in restaurants as we did it every couple of weeks and we had never had a problem.
Here is a copy of the letter I wrote to the restaurant the day of the incident:
2008-07-05
Smitty’s Canada
To Whom it May Concern;
I am writing to you to relay the inappropriate way in which my daughter, who has special needs, and my family, was treated by your staff at the Smitty’s Restaurant located at 18320 Stony Plain Road, Edmonton Alberta. The incident occurred during breakfast hours on Saturday July 5, 2008.
My family of 6, 2 adults and 4 children stay at the Travelodge in Edmonton 4-5 times each year and dine at your restaurant for breakfast every visit. We do this for the sake of continuity as well as convenience. My 5-year-old daughter Eowyn has Autism and routine is very important to her. As you might imagine, travelling is very stressful for her and the change is hard to deal with. The Travelodge hotel and the Smitty’s restaurant have become familiar to her over the past couple of years.
This morning she ordered her usual Pizza for breakfast...another reason we choose Smitty’s is its ability to feed her odd tastes at odd hours. Today however, pizza was unavailable. This was upsetting to Eowyn and took her some time to process. Your waitress was very understanding and didn’t seem disturbed at all...I explained my daughter had autism (she was even wearing a shirt that stated the fact), and she would calm in a few minutes, another waitress offered us coloring. The distraction did not work, although appreciated.
My daughter may look like a normal five year old, but the behaviour she was exhibiting was similar to a 2 year old throwing a tantrum. She was crying and pulling her hair. We gave her some deep pressure massage and she had stopped pulling her hair...a sign the episode was almost over. We are in no way trying to say she was not making some noise and fuss, we are simply saying that the episode was not behavioural it was symptomatic, under control, and on the way to being stopped.
This is when the Greeter/Manager...Itesh Kumav approached and demanded we take her out of the restaurant. I have never seen anyone ever ask anyone ask any parent to remove a crying child from a restaurant, and so I was shocked and asked why? He responded that another table was threatening to leave without paying? My husband’s non diplomatic response was to tell the other table to “suck it up” I immediately interjected and tried to explain the situation. My daughter has autism; she will be calm in a few minutes now that her food is here...Mr. Kumav’s response was still that she had to leave. I said that this was not acceptable. She could not help the way she was, she was upset because the restaurant did not have pizza. She would be calm in a minute.
And his response...and I quote, believe me I can’t get his words out of my mind “If she is autistic and this is how she acts, you shouldn’t take her out in public”
We immediately stood up and removed our family from the restaurant. I stopped at the front to get his name and the Manager’s name, Dave Hudson and a phone number to reach him 483.6457, which turned out to be the restaurant’s number which was of no use to me as I tried to reach him to talk to him only to be told I couldn’t speak to him until Monday.
I have contacted the following press agencies about this incident: Edmonton Journal and CBC news and have done interviews with both. I have contacted my local Autism Advocacy group and will be looking to see if there is any applicable and reasonable legal action to be taken. I will also be contacting the better business bureau to place a complaint.
When Mr. Kunav, an employee and representative of Smitty’s restaurant told me that my daughter should not be taken out in public I felt as though I had been slapped across the face. My daughter is learning how to act in public, and she can’t help that her brain processes things slowly and that it is painful while this happens and that is why she cries, my daughter has as much right to be in public as any other child.
It is very difficult to parent a child let alone one with autism or other special needs. If my daughter is treated this way, who else is also treated this way by others who work for your restaurants? It is very important to me that all people with special needs are treated with respect. Your restaurant has not shown this to my child or my family, and thus, I must be concerned about others as well.
I look forward to a response from you in the near future. If you wish to respond by phone before the 9th of July we are at (780) 5---------after that we can be reached at our home number.
Sincerely
Sarah and Michael Seymour
After this incident they responded quickly with phone calls since I had contacted the media. We had national coverage with TV news, papers, and talk radio interviews in the following week and they were anxious to make us happy.
They agreed to sensitiviy training for all staff in the whole city. They taught them how to recognize people with autism and how to treat people with all abilities wtih respect.
They also became a corporat sponsor for the autism speaks walk for Autsm in Edmonton last fall selling puzzle pieces that people could write their names on for $1 in each location and raised $7000 for the walk.
We made lemon-aide out of lemons, but it was a stressful and avoidable situation. No person should be treated the way my daughter was.
Post #2
Nicole wroteon April 15, 2009 at 4:26am
Good for you for standing up fr your daughter and people with autism. I have never been asked out right to leave a public place but have gotten many stares and dirty loks like why can;t yu control your child. It is important that our children feel just like everyone else so that means going out to eat, shopping, and joining in extracurricular activities. I love the idea of this projecvt and will be glad to join in. It is important to educate people about autism and like your daughter my son (asperger's) presents like a normal child until something surprises him or his routine is broken (like not having his usual food, that would upset him as well). It is an exhausting battle but one we have to contineueto fight for our children and all the 1 in 150 just like them. I applaud your efforts and will support you anyway I can!!!
Post #3
Tie Dye Project for Autism wroteon April 20, 2009 at 1:19pm
Nicole, we will succeed in the battle for the basic rights that belong to our children. It will take time and tears but as mothers and fathers of children with ASD we will make this a better world for them.
Melissa Barton
Melissa Barton