You're really killing my plans on "Clooney'ing" it...
Babe it's been a while but I think we should get back together. We can be better than ever!
Dear future GF...I'm raising the kids vegetarian
I'm not awkwardly walking backwards out of your story about shopping...I'm practicing my moonwalk...for you!
I hope you're Argentinian and speak very little English
It's not that I love you it's that I dislike you the least
I need a GF to cure what ails me and it's not just a lonely heart...but leave awesomeness, a curse that shall stay with me until my death.
DFGF, if you really want to get to my heart, like my charity page...
If you're the girl sitting next to me on the bus...you smell like candy, thank you
Remember that one time we took that walk and we saw that rainbow and had soup? No? Cause you're not real!!
Don't you dare be Manti's ex!
Be the Stacy Keibler to my George Clooney
If you ever cancel a date to do more yoga...that's totally fine with me
No tell me more about how warm your NorthFace jacket is
Apparently you're gonna be evil...but it's ok, I'll accept you
I love Olivia Munn, get over it!
I don't want you to play video games more than me...I like girls
I'm convinced I suffer from sleep inertia which simply stated means I'm not a morning person as a condition