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Surviving Childhood Abuse

Childhood abuse can consist of many different experiences. Adults who have lived through experiences of abuse are often referred to as adult survivors of childhood abuse. Statistics are difficult to obtain because of the secrecy and shame that so often surround such abuse. But we do know that such abuse occurs in all races, religions and economic classes.

Childhood abuse can be classified as: physical abuse, emotional abuse, or sexual abuse. While ea...

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Needing some good thoughts and prayers. My abuser and egg-doner has moved from 1100 miles away to less than 20 miles from me...

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Recently spoke with a fellow survivor who I have known for some time who is dealing with Abuser Denial. I shared this with them and thought to re-post it in group.

A.C.A.P. Adult Children of Abusive Parents

Abuser Denial

Often times when an adult survivor of child abuse begins to come to terms with the wrongs done to them, they will confront their abuser in an effo...rt to deal with the emotions and consequences that arose from the abuse. In many cases, the abuser will deny any of the abuse, even if it’s in a private conversation where both parties know full well what was done. An abuser will often call their adult child a liar or insist they have mental problems when they are confronted with the things they did to their child in younger years.

In many other cases, if the abuser acknowledges the wrongs and abuse they put their child thru, they tell the child to “get over it” or “stop living in the past” not realizing that the abuse and the consequences of the abuse they inflicted is with the
survivor every day for the rest of the survivor’s life. Indeed, many abusers will NEVER acknowledge what they did or accept being responsibility for the consequences or the ways in which the abuse they committed affected their child’s life thru adult-hood. It’s very difficult to attempt closure or be able to come to terms with the effects of abuse thru confronting an abusive parent when this is the case. Feelings of anger, frustration and resentment are often experienced by a survivor when dealing with an abuser who will not even acknowledge the wrongs and abuses they committed.

Another factor in dealing with abuser denial is that often times the abuser is respected or viewed as an “upstanding person” in the other facets of their life. The abusive parent has a further vested interest in portraying the survivor as a “problem child” making up stories with false accusations of abuse. Indeed an abusive parent will often invent stories about their child in an effort to discredit anything the adult survivor of child abuse might say to friends or other family members. This often begins early in the survivor’s life, especially if the survivor goes to another family member about the abuse. Some abusers go so far as to stage situations where they have their adult child arrested or committed in an effort to make the survivor look less credible or believable, this can be especially true with male survivors of child abuse.

Confronting your abuser can be extremely emotional and very rarely leads to any feelings of closure, especially in cases of abuser denial. In my experience it is more therapeutic to be able to discuss, vent about, and work out the affects and feelings that arise from the abuse suffered with other adult survivors of abuse as well as thru counseling.

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So I look on my facebook this morning and the first thing I see is a piece from CNN on "Should 19 kids and counting be cancelled?".... REALLY?????
The man's a child molestor and guilty of incest. His parents are guilty of criminal conspiracy in covering it up. The only reason they aren't headed to a jail cell is because the statute of limitations is passed. Political strings have been pulled to completely destroy the records of a criminal investigation of sex crimes... AND YOU PEOPLE ARE MORE WORRIED ABOUT A $%#@!ING T.V. SHOW!!!! What in the name of all that's Holy is WRONG with these people...
http://www.cnn.com/…/josh-duggar-tlc-show-cance…/index.html…

Will the show go on? That is the question surrounding TLC's "19 Kids and Counting" after claims that Josh Duggar molested girls as a teenager.
cnn.com
Greg Davis to Survivors of Child Abuse

This is very hard to put into words. I find myself staring at my words. I was punished severely,it was a single spanking(beating) for swearing uncontrollably at... my p.e. Coach in the fourth grade. I remember certain details when it happened, I experience a black spot in my memories for a year and a half. I counted 3 sets 20,he was the pastor of my family's church. I was taken to police headquarters and pictures were taken. I remember being told that I was not his first victim,there was Another.
My parents got divorced during my blackout time. The family unit began to crumble after my mother remarried. I managed to carve out a place on the street at 12. I only went home to shower or do laundry. I am 56 now. Kids are grown etc. the man that hurt me is dead,I can never forgive him although I have tried to three times in my life. The words he spoke when my mother and I confronted him will haunt me all of my days. I want to desecrate his bones. I have ceased going to church because I fear people are judging me. Whenever a church member whistles while they give a talk I want to get up and run. A lot of things make sense to me now,but still I am left with my Anger towards this man. I Wish to expose him. Then I wish it never happened.i trust very few people. I was never treated for my trauma, I was neglected by my mother after she remarried. Her attention was given to my Stepfather. How can I come to terms with myself. How can I stop my social phobias,depression and Guilt. As each day passes now I Know I'm different, I can no longer live my life like this.i need feedback from others, I am unwilling to talk to a shrink. So here I am,I hope y'all will help me .

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Time to vent....
There are people I know, who portray themselves as good upstanding Christians to many. These people like to pass judgment and criticize others with the stance that they have never had fault. So I am going to take a little time and, with out naming names, remind these people of just exactly who they actually are, and that though they may fool some, they don't fool everyone. I am by no means a perfect person, but if there is one thing I simply can not stand, i...

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The philosophy I use to get through the day sometimes...

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling

Sons of Guns star charged in child rape case.
http://news.msn.com/…/gun-company-cuts-ties-with-reality-tv…

BATON ROUGE, La. (AP) — A Louisiana firearms company at the center of the reality TV show "Sons of Gun" distanced itself from the program's star this week after he was arrested on charges of repeatedly raping a child.
news.msn.com
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Anfernee Williams

This is A TRUE STORY
My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.

...

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All day long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.

When my mummy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar

I hear him curse,
My name is called,
I press myself,
Against the wall.

I try to hide,
From his evil eyes,
I'm so afraid now,
I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping,
Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault,
He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me,
And yells at me more,
I finally get free,
And run to the door.

He's already locked it,
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me,
Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor,
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues,
With more bad words spoken.

'I'm sorry!', I scream,
But it's now much to late,
His face has been twisted,
Into a unimaginable shape.

The hurt and the pain,
Again and again,
O please let it end!

And he finally stops,
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless,
Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Chris,
I am three,
Tonight my daddy,
Murdered me.

And you can help,
Sickens me to the soul,
If you read this,
And don't pass it on

I'll pray for your forgiveness,
You would have to be,
One heartless person,
Not to be affected,
By this Poem.

And because you ARE affected,
Do something about it!
So all I ask you to do,
Is pass this on!

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"Everyone she met, adult or child was tortured by her cruelty and exposure to violence, criminal activity, vulgarity, and hatred of the gentle or kind human spirit. Our greatest wish now is to sti...
classwarfareexists.com

My best Christmas as a child was 1986 at my grandparents place down in south Texas near South Padre Island. It wasn't my best because of presents or expensive toys, it was my best because I was able to spend that Christmas with my "Pa-Pal" and "Ma-Mal". I was 15 and it was the first Christmas I was living back in my home town of Arkadelphia. My grandparents closed the golf course there in Gum Springs every winter and spent 3 months at their home in south Texas. That year I wa...s able to go down and be with them for Christmas break. Normally Christmas was not a very good time for me, my mother and step-father were not what you would call loving or caring people, tho they liked to put on that they were for appearences sake, they were good at things like that, especielly my mother. I'd spent more than one Christmas growing up with welts across my face, belt-marks criss-crossing my back, or worse. Growing up I cherrished my time with my grandparents every summer on the golf course, but rarely were able to see them at Christmas. For a week and a half in the winter of 1986 I played shuffle-board, rode the "tandem-bike", and spent a very memorable Christmas with my grandparents. I didn't know then that before my 16th birthday I'd be out on my own, working a job, fending pretty much for myself, and trying to get thru high school. That would come a few months later. That Christmas was the calm before the storm for me in a lot of ways. Maybe thats part of the reason I view it as one of my best. I know that every year since I have looked back upon the memories of that Christmas as the best of my childhood. It's this time of year I think I miss my grandparents most.

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A Holiday development, and something a bit petty. My mother, who is not a poor woman and has vast amounts of means, spent in the four digits on christmas presents for her grand-children from my half sister.... for her grandson thru me, she sent a $5.00 walmart gift card.... Even tho she has done things like this my entire life, it just about sent me up the wall. That she is extending the hatred or contempt she has expressed towards me since she drank drano while pregnant with me to my son is something that is beyond me. I do not even plan to use the card and am half tempted to simply send it back. ...
Sorry, just needed to vent a little about this.

As we enter the Holiday and Christmas season I want to send out thoughts to all my fellow survivors. I know how difficult this time of year can be emotionally for many survivors of child abuse, know your not alone, none of us are alone, and that you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Wishes all my fellow survivors a safe and happy thanksgiving!

Whether you are pro-life or pro-choice, there is nothing that should be political about rape. Rape is not a "gotcha" point, nor is it something to be "re-defined" to make someone's political agenda more palitable. Rape is rape, it's barbaric, indecent, humiliating and monstrous. Rape victims are not pawns for political gain.