A number of couples go to our counseling center hoping to save their marriage; sometimes, it's just one spouse who's actively getting help.
If there's anything I've learned from these people in rocky relationships, it's this:
They already SAW the problems even BEFORE they got married. But they got married anyway....
They got married because people expected them to, because they'd already been together for so-and-so years, because they'd already been living together, because they already had savings / a house together, because they were "so in love" (and usually it's just one partner who feels this).
But they never truly addressed the problems, or hoped the marriage would change them, or maybe even thought it didn't matter.
Fact is, if it's a problem of Character, then it matters BIG TIME. Because a Marriage can only be as strong as the Character of the people in it.
The Girlfriend has a habit of being in credit card debt by the thousands. Boyfriend still marries her, and now as his wife she's burying their whole family in debt by the millions.
The Boyfriend has already cheated on Girlfriend twice, but each time he says he'll never do it again. Girlfriend marries him, and now she cries each night because he's now her chronically cheating husband.
One troubled girlfriend recently asked me "But isn't it true that people change?"
I answered "Yes, people do change. But the only person you can change is yourself. And even *that* takes a lot of will power & hard work."
Your love for a person won't change him, unless HE truly wants to change himself. And that's HIS job, to decide on and work on his growth as a person.
Marriage doesn't magically "change" people either, nor does it make your problems go away. In fact, as a long term relationship, it can only "bring out more of who you already are."
So if you're seeing Character problems in your partner right now, REALLY ask yourself if you want to make heartache a permanent part of your life by marrying them.
Because many times, you only deprive yourself of finding the Right Person by stubbornly holding on to the Wrong Person.
For Relationships that last a lifetime, Love isn't really enough. You also need a foundation of Strong Character... and you can always start by developing your own.
- Coach Aileen Santos
How do you make sure your new relationship has a better chance at “happy ever after” than your old one?
Let’s talk tonight at 9pm Manila time here:
An American recently asked me, "What is Hugot?"
My answer: "Relationship bitterness disguised as humor." 😄😄😄
I actually have 3 other definitions for "hugot:" ...
1. A waste of time.
2. Crush repellent (because when your crush sees you being bitter on your wall, they suddenly start wondering why *you* think love isn't for you), and
3. A lot of complaining, and not much "doing something about it."
You want a happier love life? Be a happier person. Start connecting with other people, and stop b*tching about #theonethatgotaway .
#relationshipquotes #hugot #relationshipskills #relationships #relationshipcoach #relationshipgoals #dating #bitterness #love #loveskills #lovequotes #relationshipcoaching #quoteoftheday #CoachAileenSantos
Giving this talk for the #superhumanschool with Christopher Co tomorrow night. 😃😃😃
#relationshipquotes #relationshipcoach #relationshipgoals #relationshiprules #relationshipseminar #relationshiptalk #relationshiptalks #CoachAileenSantos #biohackers #makati #relationshiphack #chemistry
The more people you meet
the more chances of...
who are a match for you.
Join us on Feb 17 Saturday! 🤗
After a relationship ends,
you go through 3 stages:
- the Hurting stage
- the decision to Move On, and
- the Healing stage.
There are no shortcuts.
And the only way to move past it
is to GO THROUGH it. ❤
I hope this #FallInLoveFriday episode helps you with the hard part:
"The Deciding to Move On."
Share this video with your friends too, okay?
Your mind knows the relationship is done.
But your heart thinks "the love is still there."
So what do you do?...
Let's talk tonight / Friday / 9pm Manila time:
Had an interesting time answering love questions with @amypperez and #marklogan today on #dzmm #sakto ☺ .
#tvguesting #radioguesting @abscbnonline @abscbnnews @abscbn @abscbnlifestyle @dzmmonline #lovetalk #lovecoaching #lovequestions #valentineevent #valentinesday #reallove #truelove
Yes, it's their fault that they hurt you.
But it's your responsibility
to heal your own heart
and *decide* to be happy again.