Posted on

Why do you care about how other parents dress?

Straightforward question.


Why do you care what the parents of other kids in the schools your children attend wear?

I'm sitting her, sick to my stomach at the nasty, derogatory terms that women here use to describe other women. "Don't send your kids to that school. The mothers dress like sluts." "I'm not considering another school, the parents are bums."

Do you honestly think that there are women turning tricks at night, and sending their little Moishele off to yeshiva the next morning?

Don't you think that the SCHOOL -- you know, the quality of the teachers, the curriculum, the physical plant -- is more important than whether some woman with kids at the school, whom your kids will probably never see, covers her knees? Not to mention more influential.

And how do you feel knowing that if your kids weren't accepted at a school, it may be because there's some woman here thinking that you dress like a slut and a bum?

Reply here

See More
Imamother is a community of frum Jewish women, where you can come to relax, socialize, debate, receive support, ask questions and much more.


I'm working on a plan in my mind (for now) to deal with the tuition crisis, taking into account the actual cost of education (paid for currently mostly by tuition), teacher salaries being too low, vouchers not a possibility. At this point I don't think that fully free tuition is possible, but significantly discounted should be, with some hard work, creativity, and a different approach to fundraising - and seed money to the transformation possible.

So at what price point would you consider the tuition crisis solved?

1) What price range would you consider as a reasonable, sustainable tuition price for most families? (Scholarships being left out of the equation for now.)

2) How many "extras" (fees, required donations) would you consider reasonable?

3) Do you have a different price range for high school? If so, what?

See More
Imamother is a community of frum Jewish women, where you can come to relax, socialize, debate, receive support, ask questions and much more.


My babies are being neglected, please help me!!!!!

I need help.


I have 2 babies under age 2 and when I was pregnant and newly postpartum I let things go, like everything go, but my kids are neglected and I don't know how to pull it together. Everyone told me to lower my standards and I'm being hard on myself, that I need to give my kids love and it will work out.
Well it hasn't.
Sometimes my kids only get one bath a week because I have no idea how to bathe 2 kids at once or I need 2 people to bath them both. So when my husband is home, it happens.
I make supper for my husband and I after the kids are asleep but they just eat whatever, eggs, sandwhiches, yogurt. I don't make my baby, baby food (10 months) he just eat whatever regular food.
Often they go to sleep in their clothes.

I just feel overwhelmed and need advice on HOW to manage the day, fulfilling their needs. I gets overwhelmed dealing with entertaining them and keeping them from hurting each other, changing their diapers and keeping them happy that I lose the details. Our heter will be up soon but this is no way to manage. I am a quick learner but I need the skills. I have read may books on parenting but no books on this stuff.

what is a normal schedule for this age?
How often should they have baths and how to manage 2?
What is normal suppers?

Can you help? I am BT and an only child - I am clueless.

Posted by a Imamother member

See More
Image may contain: 1 person, closeup

Happy Chanukah!

Kosher phone blocks crisis hotlines

Emergency numbers for mental counseling, s-xual assault victims unavailable for subscribers of kosher-certified mobile service. Cellphone providers claim to be pressured by Rabbinical Committee for Communications, which is threatening to cancel service if numbers are integrated into devices. Read more on Imamother.

Discussed here:

I'm trapped in Israel and never knew it

I've been living in Israel since I got married 9 yrs ago. I have kids who are totally Israeli, with broken English and all (oldest is only 8 so not too bad)! We live in a Chareidi neighborhood, and I always felt a twinge of unhappiness, but pushed it to the side - being that I am a proactive person and believe happiness only comes from within. I never thought about living anywhere else outside of Israel, as it was just out of my realm o...f reality...I never looked out of my own box - so to speak. We went to the US over the summer (1st time in almost 5 yrs) and coming back, I feel as though my world has been uprooted. I realized I never actively made the choice to live here (my husband was learning here, so we just ended up staying another year, another year....), and I never said "I want to raise my family and live in Eretz Yisroel". That, with the additional feelings of realizing how absolutely foreign I really have felt all these years, leaves me perplexed. I have had quite some time to think things through and have narrowed down my issues:

Israel: The kedusha, the ability to remain focused on what is important in life is very strong...but the fact that I feel so foreign makes me wonder if I can hone in on my potential ultimately as this is hampering my happiness, and in turn my avodas Hashem.

America: I won't be a foreigner, I will understand the world I live in (more in a cultural sense), but I fear that chinuch, spirituality, focusing on ruchnias is harder there.

I've been an emotional basket-case because we are only in this world happiness is how I can serve Hashem best. Thoughts? We are speaking to our Rav tomorrow about all of this, and are looking into some out-of-town communities, but I'm so out of sorts! HEEEELLLLPPPP!!!

Join the conversation on

See More

I am a really rotten mother. Really.

So here's my vent.
I am a real holy roller when it comes to knowing everything (almost) about healthy nutrition. I've read all the books. Heck, I can even write one!
And still, I cannot seem to get my kids to enjoy (and be willing to eat) anything healthy. I am so anti sugar and yet, wimp that I am, I still buy them cornflakes and lately, other sugary cereals (because I wanted some kids to go gluten free and these don't have gluten but n...obody's going gluten free!).
Nobody likes

See More
Image may contain: 1 person

Wigs For Bald Babies The New Craze

NEW YORK (CBSNewYork) — There’s some outrage in the parenting world about what could be the latest accessory for infants: Wigs.

Some babies have it and some don’t, and there are some parents going to great lengths to make sure their baby has a full head of hair.

... See More
Image may contain: 1 person

My Ds almost drowned in daycamp

My just 4 yr old son goes to a daycamp with an above ground pool of about 2-3 ft water. He was afraid to go swimming and this was his first try. He came home saying I drowned and I dont want to go swimming again. I was running to the doctor with another child and he seemed fine so I left it.
When I arrived home 2 hours later the Daycamp teacher (married women) had just called. She said we have this all the time and the children flap around an...d we quickly pull them out however in this case he was no moving, he was laying still with his arms out in a drowned position. This married women was indoors at the time and has 2 lifegaurds watching a pool of 30 kids. The lifegaurds are girls and dont know if I got the complete honest story.
The teacher called me because the lifegaurds were really scared and she has heard stories where children seem fine but later that day drown in their sleep (from water filled lungs). She did not want to take responsibility.
I called hatzalah to ask them if I can wait for the doctor to see him or should he be seen sooner, they wanted to send someone over right away, they checked his lungs and seemed clear but said they wanted the doctor to see him and decide if should be observed overnight in a hospital, take x-rays start him on antibiotics (water in lungs can cause all kinds of serious infections).
The doctor said he was clear but said to keep an eye out for heavy breathing and fever.
I asked around what it means that he was not flapping around (natural instincts for a child drowning).
I was told they possibly caught it abit late. When they pulled him out they said he was white, no color and was coughing for about a minute.
I understand the version of the story told to me was downplayed but my real question is does anyone know
the drowning process, is it normal not to be moving?
I am so thankful that he is okay but I want to know if these girls are responsible and they saved his life or did they see this abit later than they should have.
They claim it was only seconds but im afraid it was more.

See More
No automatic alt text available.

Frum people and their lack of respect for boundaries.

What is wrong with frum people that they think it is OK to walk into my house uninvited? We are adding an addition and people keep coming in my house to see it. Hello, we live here!!! Even if we didn't live here, what gives them the right to come onto private property? We put up barricades on the addition and people move the barricades which we can't move back on Shabbos. This is not a neighborhood playground or Shabbos en...tertainment. I have spoken to all my Jewish neighbors and asked them to respect our property.

I saw 3 boys trying to knock down the outhouse for the workers. Being I live in the house, I can hear everything people are saying when they come in. They feel free to comment. I don't want to hear their comments. This Shabbos a man with his two very small children entered my house when I was dovening. Later two bigger boys entered. A husband and wife came in after them. The wife had nothing nice to say about the house while she was in it. No one apologizes for disturbing us.

Frum people have some serious boundary issues.

Thank you for allowing me to vent. Does anyone have any practical suggestions?

Discussed here

See More
No automatic alt text available.

amazing!!! modesty from a non jewish perspective

Discussed here

Fashion matters. It influences the imagination and drives the way people uniquely represent themselves. The evolution of the women's swimsuit is one place wh...

HELP!! I threw my iPhone into the tub by mistake!

It's working totally fine but I'm afraid to recharge it since maybe it is still wet inside. Did this happen to anyone? When is it safe to recharge it?

Discussed here

Image may contain: phone

What's with the Kate Middleton obsession???

Seriously!! Every time this woman blinks, there's a new yahoo article about it, and how it probably is related to her fabulous pregnancy (with a quote from a noted OBGYN about how pregnancy often causes excessive blinking). And then I go on to read the comments (I get bored sometimes, don't judge) and every single commenter seems to be just so in love with her- and I don't get it! For what? What does anyone really know about her?
I... mean, all this time, has anyone ever heard her speak?? Ever?? She could have a southern drawl, and no one would know. And yet she's one of the most idolized women on the planet! For the record, I have nothing against her- I'm just trying to wrap my mind around how in love people seem to be with her, when all they know is that she apparently had a rough first trimester, and looks good with a pair of heels and a pearl necklace. Oh yes and has a sister Pippa.
Can anyone explain this?

See More
Image may contain: 2 people

Who would dare to pit one fatal disease against another... inside the body of an six-year-old patient? The results will shatter all

Discussed here

Subscribe to the GE Channel: Who would dare to pit one fatal disease against another... inside the body of an six-year-old patient? Th...

Things you never thought you would say to your kids

There is another thread about this somewhere, but I can't find it and I've said some of the most bizarre things, tonight and other times that I had to add these.

Tonight, I said:


"You are not allowed to blow out the flame under the pot!"

"You are not allowed to put the baby's bottle in the mailbox!" (We lost one bottle like that way, and tonight we came very close to losing another.)

Discussed here:

See More
Image may contain: 2 people

Have you ever been a victim of anti semitism?

We had a disturbing shul experience today and it is creeping me out.

Discussed here:

Image may contain: one or more people, crowd and outdoor

Are you rich & happy?

Allow me to tell you a true story of someone I know very well. He has a rags to riches story.

Chaim grew up poor. He started a business that BOOMED and made him around $500,000 a year. This was without having to pay rent, health insurance, and housing - all of that was covered by his parents. ...
-He was young, good looking, and had all of this money.
-He would rent out the fanciest, best sports car (changed cars every month) - porsch, bmw, mercedes, etc.
-Went out to the fanciest clubs, hotels, and fanciest restaurants.
-Traveled and often went on vacation.
-Owned a boat
-Wore only the top designer clothes
-Had the fanciest cellphone (not sure what model it was so many years ago?)

Guess what? He was extremely unhappy. He came home from work every day feeling like everyone was jealous of him, and therefore, he couldn't trust anyone with his money.
He had no real friends. They all wanted to use him for his car and for his status to get into exclusive bars.
He couldn't find any real girl to settle down with. He wanted someone who'd love him for him, not for his money. Someone who would want to know his soul, not his wallet.
He felt terrible daily and would suppress that feeling by taking drugs (of the "highest quality"), drinking the finest alcohol, and watching movies as much as possible. Those things all numbed his pain - but only temporarily.

Chaim's best friend, the only one he kind of trusted, began to become more religious. He urged Chaim to come with him to Torah lectures and to spend Shabbos with him.
Chaim agreed.

And now...

Chaim's my husband. He learns in kollel. He is one of the happiest people I know.
Our parnassa is from slightly over minimum wage, but our parnassa is not our living. It's a means to help us continue living. And we enjoy every minute of this life together.
As he says "there is no greater joy than being close to G-d."


See More
No automatic alt text available.