Jamie Lono & Noble Heart - Tinder
Ladies and Gentlement, sometimes in life you realize there is only one true form of love. For us, that one true form of love came when we discovered Tinder. I give to you today the real life account of the way my heart was broken and put back together and broken and then I went back on Tinder again. Tinder Rules.
-Jamie Lono & Noble Heart
A journal entry I wrote.
I wrote this journal entry today after hearing about Chester Bennington's passing and felt like sharing. I hope it helps my friends who ever feel hopeless becau...se of what the music industry may have you believe. (Please excuse the grammatical errors. I only went to college for like 3 months).
I owe a lot of lifelong friends to albums like Hybrid Theory/Linkin Park in general. It's extremely sad that another great musician has taken his own life. A lot of musicians (definitely 100% myself included), when looking from the bottom up, see fame as the answer to our relentless self doubt and struggle with happiness. As more and more stories come to light about the struggles of what society deems successful entertainers, it becomes more apparent to me that this isn't the case. A while ago I wrote a journal entry called "Fuck Your Dream". Essentially, it says that if fame and money are the only measurements by which we value success, then...fuck it. "I refuse to believe that an electrician that plays at bars every Friday night is any less successful than Justin Bieber" is a quote if I remember correctly. Some of this still holds true, though not in such an angst filled, anxiety ridden rant. I was on the verge of giving up on music at that time. I was angry at the entire world for not recognizing what I deemed my talent. I was very lost, confused, and heart broken by the music industry. I was also right. If you were to take the anger and resentment away from that journal entry the sentiments of it, to me, help me take another breathe each day.
A common question I receive upon my trips back home to the FABULOUS suburbs of Chicago is "So are you still doing the whole music thing?" Without fail.
EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I'm never sure how to respond. As musicians, entertainers, artists, whatever it may be, we are told that unless our face is on a billboard in downtown Los Angeles then we are not "still doing the whole music thing". For the past 6 years I've gotten out of bed beating myself to a pulp for this reason. "I'm not good enough, if I was good enough I'd have millions of followers on Instagram and my life would be great and I'd be rich. I'm not good enough. Ever". This is horse shit. Pure unadulterated horse shit.
I am good enough. Not because I've sold millions of records (HA...I wish). Not because of social media, or Spotify streams or iTunes sales or TV placements. I am good enough because despite ALL the negative press covfefe, I wake up every day and I choose to take a breath. I wake up and I choose to sing. I grab my guitar and I play notes that fill the room with a beautiful sound I never thought possible at the age of 14 when I first started playing. I am good enough.
And so are you.
I am writing this because Chester Bennington's death has resonated with me despite not knowing him personally. Linkin Park, Slipknot...these two bands made me want to play music. This eventually led to singing, which eventually led to a tv show, which eventually led me to Nashville, and I'm not sure where it will lead me next. My point is...if these people that I've looked up to for my entire life are devoid of happiness despite what I see as insurmountable success, then it's important for myself and other musicians alike to find happiness with who we are today, not who we think we are going to be in 5 years when our very not original dream of an arena tour sells out. These things, these materialistic, spiritually void things are not the answer to why we're not happy. Happiness is not an equation that can be solved by selling out a show. Happiness, to me, is realizing that life is a shit show no matter which route you take, and no matter how many fans you have. It is realizing that the shit show will pass, because there's only so much shit provided within a certain allotted period of time. But the shit will come back. There is definitely an abundance of shit.
Happiness is valuing the right things. Taking life as it comes and realizing you have no fucking clue what's going to happen next, and enjoying each wave. Whether it hits you in the face like a ton of bricks or carries you on to your next adventure. That, to me, is happiness.
I've had my first two writes in Nashville since moving here a year ago that were geared more towards something I would personally put on an album (usually I have been writing songs with other people in mind). I'm truly happy and impressed with the unique writing style and texture of the songs and I am looking forward to writing more and more...eventually putting them on an album. It's an amazing feeling, after singing for 10 years, to start to explore who I truly am as an artist.