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The UK currently emits 350 million tons of carbon dioxide each year by burning fossil fuels for everything from food, production, transport and consumer goods to power generation, buildings and industry, and all the viewers of switched over to Love. Island. Where's the remote quick? It's very boring Franny it. It's very geography. GCSE isn't it Can we jazz it up a bit. I need some tips or something you know. it's the end of the world. come on. There is morning there is early morning and then there's this right. This is what I call the Sparrows fart with asparagus on even up yet they've just rolled over Farted hit the snooze button. Look at that fucking disgusting. It's my tie straight push government the UK government UK parliament. Always stick up like that it does is your sink into this. What the fuck is that you come and shoot a documentary on that. It's a fucking disposable. It's full. okay. I didn't know what four K means. British government has declared a climate emergency and has committed us. How paint Yeah the British government has declared a climate emergency and has committed us to net zero. But what does that mean and how will we do it well to achieve net zero? We not only have to drastically reduce the amount of carbon that we're letting off out into the atmosphere. We're also gonna have to suck up a lot of the carbon that we've already emitted actually. I think this might be better on the boat. really, you think this would be better on the boat. Yeah, let's try that might not be better for you to decide your shot list before you make me get up at 4:30 AM. might it not okay before we do anything else. I need a McMuffin. Sorry, sorry, we're late funny. We're not actually going on the boat are we I'm not I'm not very, you know. I'm not exactly a holy there. You know what they call a land lover. You know. yeah, what can you can you not just get the shots on the boat and I can just go and keep in the car or something funny. Look at those muscles on the road, I mean stand by rolling and action when we think of carbon capture we naturally think of trees. but trees are not the only natural resource that have the ability to suck up our carbon emissions. The humble muscle the humble must bit shit. It sounds like a crap provincial fish restaurant. John Holmes has spent 10 years developing Europe's first fully optional muscle farm six miles off the Coast of Dorset. Okay, so these are these are just over a year old now. So how did this help us to tackle climate muscles like a lot of other shelf? We build a shell which is partly calcium carbonate so a lot of carbon in that and the carbon they put into their shells stays there technically forever as far as our species is concerned anyway. Yeah. Well, I'm I'm literally at Sea. No no literally literally look my dereliction of duty as an estranged father aside and look Sandra. I'm literally saving the planet. Okay. I'm I'm capturing carbon yet. There is a lot of seaweed a lot of it, but don't laugh. Okay. It's actually a condition actually look okay. Listen, I gotta go cuz there's a big carbon coming our way. Alright. I gotta go by plenty of meat in that one. If you ate that role wouldn't you. more that they are going six ramos self oo oo i love you take time okay oo as the first to see you again I'm still alive. Oh, this is still alive. Yeah. Okay, Just don't look. Bro. Delicious Right, what's next? It's hard to believe that this tiny creature could hold it. Hang on chat the fucking script. It's hard to believe that this tiny creature could hold the key to saving all life on Earth. Not wrap. Sound rolling and action Jonathan Muscles are not the only living thing that can help absorb our carbon emissions. I'm here in Cornwall to dive into the wonderful world of seaweed. Oh fucking. I'm not touching it. It fucking stinks for a start. It's fucking disgusting. It gets wrapped around your legs. It's like a fucking nightmare. I don't do seaweed. Alright. It's a condition. I'd rather eat a plate of yesterday's bogies. Sister used to trace me down the Beach with that shit right, let's go. get your change for the next shot. So what hilarious costume If you got me in today yet yesterday, it was a fisherman. What's today? Fireman Fireman Sam Postman Pat French made. Someone give me a hand, please give me a hand. It's day two of my journey and an early start to catch the low tide with Tim Van Bergel and Carol Warren Evans from the Cornish seaweed company, especially the seaweed, then great. There we go. Thank you. Good boy. We free dive and hand harvest a range of different organic honey series for sale as a superfood, so we sell it as food, but it has a multitude of uses from bio plastics to buy fuel to now they're making clothes out as well. So how to see we help climate change. It's a carbon sink it absorbs from the ocean and it lowers it lowers the certification of the ocean. You don't have to grow it on land, so it doesn't need any input of energy or fuel or fertilizer. Water and it tastes amazing. Does it? Yeah. doesn't it? Yeah. What do you do with it? They're very very careful. you can right. Yes. some you can fry you can eat them like this spaghetti. you can eat it raw and just chop it into salads hundred percent compostable packaging What you do with this so that Sea greens, and that's the one that's in crispy fried seaweed from the Chinese service. crispy seaweed from the Chinese was not actually saying it's often cabbage. Should be okay. Also, if you feed a little bit of CBD to cows, it reduces their output by 30 percent, which is pretty good for the environment. So this stops cows farting basically, yeah exactly. so if we had this to cows, we wouldn't have to wipe out the rain forest for their feed. Yeah, and if we Fed it to them, they do less. Yeah exactly or we could just not eat cows. Yeah, but we were like a burger. Maybe we could eat seaweed burger. That's not gonna happen. Yes, it is. how are you doing funny right? Let's get you snuggled up and get you in there. Come on come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on you got this. You got this. You got this. Come on. Come on you. David Attenborough you Brian Cox Stacey Dooley, Brian Cops your Brian Cox Things get better. Okay ready Let's go swimming. That isn't swimming in the Sea that is swimming in the channel. Alright people do that for comic relief. Can you just get in? Just getting okay. Let's get out let's go. This bullshit if I dropped the scissors, yeah. How to give a shit about this? How do you give a shit? you know why you know what I'm doing this. You know why suddenly give a shit about this shit cuz everyone else is started giving a shit. It's fashionable. It's fashionable and I'm bored. I'm so fucking bored of Westminster. I'm so fucking bored to the back teeth of Brexit and I want a fucking crafter or at least a radiant times Award. It's fashionable to give a shit. so I give a shit, but I don't give a shit not really no one does. It's too fucking huge. For most people to give a shit so we do what we can. we do our bit knowing it will do nothing at all. what the fuck am. I supposed to tell my son when he asked me what did you do to stop the climate crisis that you knew was coming for decades? Well, son I made a documentary, seaweed and fucking muscles. Jonathan Pine saving the world One clamor a time. No. I'm gonna tell him the truth. son hided. fuck off like everybody else. Can't we just tell the truth for us. It's fucked. And now the weather, which coincidentally is the thing that's fucked. You know the difference between you and me funny. Most of us are diluted enough to think we can save the world with a bit of fucking seaweed. The Arctic is on fire so you just carry on with you with your back for life in your paper straws in your fucking vegan tofu while driving your kids to school in a fucking Jeep. If it makes you feel better, there is nothing you can do. this is just the way it is. this is capitalism baby suck it up. No do we need any more shots? We're gonna get the fuck out of this so we can get back to the hotel so I can have a fucking drink please. There's a seal. Best pie Today it's backseat though. Could use the seaweed like like as a metaphor for how ordinary people now are finally starting to rise up against the police could murder a muffin.











