I can't claim to understand the term "finger licking good" but it appears to reference the fact that an item contains botulism, meningitis and dysentery.

I'm very sad that I've been blocked by @Lord_Sugar for calling him a cunt because today seems like a good day to call him a cunt.


I'm not crying. You're crying. #QueerEye #Episode4

Hey, 'Murica. How #Fergue sang the national anthem is how it always sounds to the rest of us. #NoNoNoNo #Don'tFunkWithMyAnthem

Today, I had a Magnum ice cream. It tasted like disappointment and extortion.
Oh, and the vomit of a child who had gorged themselves in a sugar factory.

Cthulu is pleased with my offering. Today was a good day: the idiots will feel my vengeance.

Today the idiots are beating me. Tomorrow, I sacrifice their young to honour Cthulu.

Today's discussion topic: is @Gmb (ITV, 6:00am - 8:30am) useless?

I don't belive Rhonda Rousey has the acting chops to be a superstar in the WWE. I also don't think she has the acting chops to be in a Pre-School Nativity.
She can kick my ass, though. There's always that.

Fuck the mice, I have no idea how it does not link to the men and women of Manchester who have given their lives in the Korean war and conflicts since. #TypeFUCKThenMiddleButtonItUntilFullstop

Can anybody tell me if science has identified the cause of that noise Lee Ryan makes in the middle of "Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word"?

I love me some Little Mix.

Hey, @TheRock, how come you don't call people jabronis and roody-poos no more? Did you give them the #PeoplesElbow?

So the latest predictive text fad gives me the following #Frugal:

Here lies Mzebonga. He was the first one of our regulars to get the cheapest prices online.

Coming to the realisation that I would never make it onto a Celebrity edition of #UniversityChallenge, in the unlikely event that I became famous. Shouldn't have gone to two shit Universities... At least I'm of a generation that wasn't burdened with massive debt.

We learned that there are still 11 vertebrate Conservative MPs in the wilds of the UK Government after previously believing that they only existed in captivity.
Glad they were able to use that spine to stand up for #democracy. Here's to the ongoing conservation effort. #Brexit

For those who aren't in the know, @MarvelStudios @theinhumans is a story based on the premise is that there is a technologically advanced race of superhumans on the far side of the moon who are all a bunch of fucking morons. They end up in Hawaii and everyone there is a moron too

Hey Millennials, do you remember stuff from the 80s like He-Man and Top Cat? We do too. Wasn't it cool? You should buy stuff from us because we're totally not corporate bastards who are actively making the world worse.