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I would much rather go to the gym for 2 hours than relax on my couch and have a donut

You know your significant other cares when they cheat on you

I love being single

When your legs are so sweaty you stop chafing & they just glide right past each other

Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright before they speak

*Student doing work like their suppose to*
*Stops working for a little bit and does something stupid*
*Teacher happens to walk by at that very moment*
Always happens.

"I'm hungry"
"Do you want something to eat?"
"No I just want to sit here & stare at it."

I love it when I message you and you never respond back.

"Who are you on the phone with?" ..... "My drug dealer, Mom."

Could you please push your seat back more, I really hate leg room.

Did you know that if you put you ear up to a strangers leg, you can hear them say: "What the heck are you doing?

I hate it when I don't forward a chain letter and I die the next day.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

Always remember that your unique, Just like everyone else

Your coming back right? No I'm going to have a sleepover with a rapist.