Videos
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“Christmas is coming and that means making big decisions about what you're gonna do on the day. I recommend staying home and inviting friends and acquantances around to experience togetherness, instead of the feeling of being oppressed by hideously ingrown family bullshit. You can drink and eat and drink and drink heavily and drink and no one will question your life choices and you can also drink as much as you want. Not a bad deal is it? I'm not saying you have to divorce your parents, because setting yourself free of the police state that is the nuclear family is not for everybody. Not all of us are ready to live a life free of actually-life-threatening blood ties. For us practioners of Good Christmas, as you're eating delicious chops and snags and laughing with mates about how police horses are arseholes, you'll feel a weight lift off your shoulders because you chose the path of enlightened self interested instead of giving your police horse of a family another chance to trample your soul. Definitely don't do a do nothing christmas day though, riding it out alone, watching movies or gaming, because with the feeling of emptiness that sets off you might as well get in the car and drive great distances to a location where your family can make you feel like less of a person. It's a tough time of year, get a plan happening and don't let xmas ruin xmas. Oh and if you like police horses, don't eat meat or love your family, I apologise that this message wasn't written by you. I'm not sure how to fix that. Amen.”
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"I saw the trailer for Cats and it was so bad I wanted to make art about it. Pop culture under capitalism is often a series of very public abortions that somehow implicate everybody. I look at this shit and wonder why the kind of dreams I have when I ate too much before bed are on a screen. The trailer for Cats looks like people with no self awareness deep down wanted to make a horror movie. It looks like it's supposed to kill brain cells. It looks like a black magic curse that will damn you to wanting to fuck your cat. The sound of a scrotum being peeled off a vinyl couch would be sexier. I can't comment on the comedic aspects without triggering feelings of wanting to die. Cats is an Andrew Loyd Weber joint, he's the Spike Lee of making a musical about a fascist's wife. Conservatives can make good art, but when it's bad you feel like it's your urgent mission to take down a ring of child traffickers. When conservatives make bad art you feel like you saw what's hiding under your bed. Conservatives aren't necessarily bad people, but when they make bad art it's like an Extinction Rebellion protest multiplied by another Extinction Rebellion protest. I used to think I didn't like musicals, but no, I don't like conservative fantasies. Conservatives love making things worse, which is why they turn stories into musicals then turn musicals into threateningly cheerful movies and now thanks to computer generated imagineering they can ruin the idea of life itself. They make existing feel creepy with their sentimentality and nostalgia and inbred and very obvious incest vibes. Also a conservative British Prime Minister fucked a pig. I have to stop. This is my art."
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