The Wisdom of Elim Garak:

Doctor Bashir: They broke seven of your transverse ribs and fractured your clavicle.
Elim Garak: But I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos.
Doctor Bashir: Garak, this isn't funny....
Elim Garak: I'm serious, Doctor. Thanks to your ministrations, I am almost completely healed. But the damage I did to them will last a lifetime.
--DS9 episode 4.1

See More
Image may contain: 1 person, text

It's not complete yet but..... FrillerWorks now has gopher support! If you like gopher, then you might like to check out gopher://

Yeah, that's port 7070. I know.

Post from:…

Arkwood Pond Social is a social network, courtesy of Network. It runs on GNU social, version 1.2.0-beta4, available under the GNU Affero General Public License.

The FrillerWorks privacy page has a new addendum. This update is posted here as promised. You may view this at

Featured Quote: "It's not crocheting, it's manly rope tying." --Andy Conner

Like GNU Social? Follow us on the fediverse at Wanna click a link? Try this:

Once an incessant email message, the mighty Parrot Cattle has arisen from his slumber, ready to feast upon the feeds of many a social user. Alas, the beast has been reborn again! This time, though, this time the Cattle of SpiltPopcorn not only parrots what is posted to SpiltPopcorn/FrillerWorks, but...

My apologies to all the gophers for the delay. The Wild and Wacky Water Caper Chapter 3 is finally now available on the gopherhole as well.

That'll be: gopher://

It's time for... Chapter 3 of "The Wild and Wacky Water Caper"! Get your detective fix now at

I never could figure out why some waitresses always have blue shirts on and why some always wear red, but it's always the blue shirts that come to take the microwave. I quite usually place my order with a red-shirt, and it's

Jawsh has been slacking and not posting his stories on social media again, hasn't he? Oh well, I'm posting them now. Chapters 1 and 2 of "The Wild and Wacky Water Caper" are now available on FrillerWorks. Here's a link to the first chapter, and a quip from the story:

I had just got off the phone with a distraught Mrs. Swollenspepper. She was extremely upset, and she completely had the right to be. No woman should ever have to see what she just saw.... Insanefully frightening. I have no idea how one would ever deal with such a horrific thought.

The sheer horror and urgency of what I had just heard sank straight into my head as I walked the stairs up to the fifth floor, right into my office. I don't know, maybe the police in the big cities get used to hearing about this kind of stuff all the time...

See More
I had a really cool way that I wanted to do this file as well, but Chief Geordi won't let me do it as a radio drama. I really thought we could spice up our files and make them a bit more entertaining, but no. Apparently these reports absolutely

This story was created by the unfortunate occurrence of loading without checking to see if it was me first. I should never be allowed to use such things...

The Soggy that Teased like Grinding Rabbits (or why I should never be allowed to use Plot Generator) A Short Story, by Philsworth Coppersnitchington Burger Teller was thinking about Yam Potatoe again. Yam was a Proportionate Tuberous with Dusty Kidneys and Creased Leaves. Burger walked over to the w...

"The IQ of a group is the lowest IQ of a member of the group divided by the number of people in the group." --After dark screen saver

"Your page needs a cover photo." "Your page needs a cover photo." "Your page needs a cover photo."

Hey Facebook, how about you let this page shine for the beauty that it is and stop shaming it and telling it to cover up. Maybe it's your own mind that needs a cleansing.

Featured Quote: "Sorrows remembered sweeten present joy." --Robert Pollok

We did one for Obama, best do one for Trump.

List of Ridiculous Expectations for President Elect Donald Trump Well, crap. I did one of these for Barrack Obama when he was president, therefore I guess I'd better do one of these for Donald Trump for when he was ... is president. You see, here's the problem. When I made one of these for Obama, we...

See? I said I'd get around to a picture for Quote of the Day. There's also a little bit to talk about:

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, standing and text