The Onion shared a link.
59 mins
Redford To Re-Digitize Ordinary People, Improve Space Battle
HOLLYWOOD, CA—Robert Redford took time off from his Sundance Film Festival duties this week to oversee the final Industrial Light and Magic re-digitization of his Academy Award-winning 1980 drama Ordinary People.
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Here are the pros and cons of open-plan offices:

The Pros And Cons Of Open-Plan Offices
More companies are remodeling offices to incorporate open-plan layouts in an effort to save money and encourage collaboration, though many employees complain that the setup eliminates privacy and makes it hard to concentrate.
theonion.com

Via ClickHole

Posted by ClickHole
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76,011 Views
ClickHole
18 hrs

Amazing! This Guy Is Able To Think About Work No Matter What He’s Doing

"Our attentive staff is ready around the clock to listen to you try to make sense of how things could have ended up like this."

New Forced-Retirement Community Opens For Local 60-Year-Olds
TAMPA, FL—Offering a “safe and friendly environment” for newly jobless older residents, the Pine Meadows Forced-Retirement Community opened its doors Friday to local 60-year-olds who have been hastily ousted from their workplaces by down...
theonion.com

How Colleges Are Keeping Their Campuses Safe

Posted by The Onion
71,649 Views
71K Views

"We consistently found that test subjects exhibited low self-esteem, despair, and lost interest in normal activities after being dunked on with a devastating monster jam."

Study Links Clinical Depression To Getting Dunked On
BOSTON—Identifying a significant factor contributing to the development of the mental health disorder, researchers from Harvard Medical School published a groundbreaking study Thursday that reportedly links clinical depression to getting dunked on.
theonion.com

Via ClickHole:

ClickHole
17 hrs

You’ve been waiting for it, and now here it is!

It’s Here! Our Annual Ranking Of America’s Top Homeschools
This is our definitive list of the top homeschools across the country.
clickhole.com

Governor Bruce Rauner has signed an Illinois law removing sales tax from feminine hygiene products, a prominent example of the “pink tax” or trend of charging more for women’s products than men’s.

Illinois Removes Tampon Tax
What do you think?
theonion.com

Via The A.V. Club:

The A.V. Club
23 hrs

"He was a man of few words and people mistook that for a man of few colors." -Nick Offerman on Ron Swanson

Nick Offerman on middle-aged sex and what people get wrong about Ron Swanson
Nick Offerman may have landed in the public eye thanks to his portrayal of Parks And Recreation’s Ron Swanson, but there’s more to the mustache model than just a love of bacon and a keen sense of carpentry. He’s also a guy that loves his wife, Megan Mullally, and together, the two are touring their
avclub.com

Via Onion Politics:

Onion Politics
17 hrs

"This funding will go a long way toward improving today’s bass lines, which have steadily grown less funky and often fail to truly get down."

Congress Allocates $500 Million For Development Of Funkier Bass Lines
WASHINGTON—Stating that the measure was essential for holding down the beat and getting people outta their seat, Congress reportedly allocated $500 million Monday for the development of funkier bass lines.
theonion.com

Here are some key facts to know about Donald Trump's supporters:

Who Are Donald Trump’s Supporters?
As Election Day draws near and GOP candidate Donald Trump continues to retain a loyal supporter base, many wonder who these voters are and what motivates them. Here are some key facts to know
theonion.com

Via ClickHole:

ClickHole
21 hrs

So true!

6 Things Only Coffee Addicts And The Almighty Lord Understand
If you’re a java junky or our omnipotent Lord, you know these things all too well.
clickhole.com

How Life Has Changed Since The ’80s

Posted by The Onion
76,403 Views
76K Views

"It is not long hair—you don’t like long hair anymore."

Beauty Industry To Consumers: ‘You Like Short Hair Now’
NEW YORK—Explaining that the change in aesthetic preference would take effect immediately, executives from every major beauty industry company held a press conference Monday in which they told consumers “You like short hair now.”
theonion.com

Twitter announced they have suspended as many as 360,000 accounts since mid-2015 due to the users’ extremist content and promotion of terrorism.

Twitter Deletes Pro-Terrorist Accounts
What do you think?
theonion.com

“I’m trying not to get my hopes up too high, but I could really see myself staying with this company for a long time.”

Media Intern Looking Forward To Moving Up At Company That Won’t Exist In 8 Months
LOS ANGELES—Fondly imagining herself having her own cubicle in the office that will be rented out to a different business by spring, Cordcrusher Media intern Nicole Dunn, 21, told reporters Monday she’s hoping to land a full-time position at the company that will not exist in eight months.
theonion.com

"You know he’s just dying to attend an opening ceremony celebrating the rich history of Kansas City or Houston. Fucking idiot."

Report: Some Dumb Fuck Out There Probably Wants His City To Host Olympics Now
WASHINGTON—Noting that the two-week spectacle had likely stirred up a newfound passion and enthusiasm for the Games, reports confirmed Monday that some dumb fuck out there probably wants his city to host the Olympics now.
theonion.com

Editorial Cartoon:

An Offer-cer You Can’t Refuse
The Onion - America's Finest News Source
theonion.com
The Onion shared a link.
22 hrs
The Week In Pictures – Week Of August 22, 2016
The Onion - America's Finest News Source
theonion.com