Any teachers out there ?
Who has children at school ?
Do you want your teachers to gain co-operation whilst nurturing and bringing out the best in your children?...
This was the last of my 6 books written in 2012 when I was doing seminars in schools and educators asked for a book specific to dealing with children in the classroom.
It is about gaining co-operation from children and helping to embrace their 'Greatness'
If you'd like a copy happy to do at a special price of $15 inc postage within Australia.
MY GIFT TO YOU
ATTENTION PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS OR TEACHERS OF CHILDREN 8-15
As you may or may not know I am a 'Parenting Strategist' and the author of 6 books written between 2003 and 2013...
PARENTING TIP - 8.
From book- 'If you want kids to Co-operate...Just ask!'
Be a role model. Young children are like sponges....
As parents we are our children’s first role model. We have to pay close attention to what we say and do around our children and think about what kind of example we are making. If we want our children to listen to us we have to show we can listen to them. If we want them to respect us we must also show them respect. If we want them to openly communicate with us we must set the example and communicate openly with them.
How often do we do one thing and then expect our children to do the opposite. We could look at the extreme examples of smoking, drinking and swearing but what about the day to day things as well.
What about when we expect our children to use their manners but we don’t. We may expect our children to share and be cooperative with others but we don’t. We may expect our children to be courteous and polite but we may not be.
Our children really are like sponges. They watch us and copy whatever we do, how we act and how we speak to others. I read an apt quote that said; “Children seldom misquote you. They usually repeat word-for-word what you should not have said.”
It is not fair to expect children to do as we say and not what we do. We are their example!!
It is fair that we behave the way we want our children to behave. Be conscious of what we do and say when the children are around. We may think they are not watching or listening but let me say if they are around they pick things up very readily; even if on a subconscious level. Have you ever wondered where or how your child learnt something as you were not aware of teaching it to them? They just pick it up from their surroundings whether you know they are listening or watching or not.
If you are having adult conversations, a disagreement or argument with someone or in any way displaying adult only concepts PLEASE do not do so when the children are around.
PARENTING TIP - 3. (From If You Want Kids to Cooperate)
Always focus on the outcome you WANT
The ‘Laws of Attraction’ teach us that what we give most thought to is what we actually attract. It makes sense then, that we should focus our thoughts, spoken words and all that we do on the positive outcome WE WANT rather than what we DO NOT want. ...
It is human nature it seems to focus on the things we don’t like, don’t want and that are negative in our lives. This can be especially so when dealing with challenging children as the challenges being presented are there in physical form for us to see, hear and feel.
We must train ourselves, I believe, to turn that around and think MORE of the positive outcome we desire. Instead of thinking and verbalising those things that we are not happy with, we must turn those thoughts around visualising that positive outcome, even if it feels like it’s so far away. The more thought we give to what we want; the more the universe will conspire to provide that to us, in turn leading us to solving the challenges and focusing only on the solutions. The universe will also equally conspire to provide the continuous of the negative happenings if that is what we give most thought to.
So...What are you thinking??
Sometimes, as parents, and especially as parents of challenging children we can tend to focus on all of the things in our children that we are not happy about or that we do not want happening.
We can without being aware at times constantly think about and talk about the negative behaviours that we really don’t want in our children. We can focus our time, our thoughts and many of our conversations and energy on what they are doing wrong, how they don’t listen, how they don’t behave, are uncooperative, messy, rude and disrespectful. And we wonder why we keep getting those same behaviours and why nothing changes no matter how much we threaten, yell, nag or bribe!
It is a simple universal law. As are most of the ideas I share with you in this book.
• We must focus on the outcome we want.
• We must think it into existence.
• We must talk it into existence.
• We must believe in the outcome we desire.
• We must take action to achieve the outcome we desire.
• We must use positive affirmative language
No matter how tough things are and how far from the desired outcome you feel you are at, you must still ALWAYS focus only the outcome you want. This really is so important. And trust me I do understand it takes some work.
So if you want a happy, healthy and cooperative child don’t focus your thoughts, words and actions on an unhappy, unhealthy and uncooperative child. Focus your thoughts, words and actions on a happy, healthy and cooperative child.
Parenting Tip 6 from 'If you want kids to cooperate ...Just Ask'
BE ABLE TO ADMIT THAT SOMETHING YOU DID MAY HAVE BEEN WRONG
It is expected that if children make a mistake or that they do something wrong or inappropriate, that they then apologise. The same should be expected of parents and carers of children. If you lose your cool, yell, try to control or treat your child in any way that you would not like to be treated yourself just tell them you ar...e “sorry” or ask for their forgiveness (or better still both).
Children really appreciate that we too make mistakes and are very quick to forgive us, especially when we apologise for any parenting ‘meltdowns’.
When we make mistakes as parents, it is not always easy I understand to humble ourselves to say “Sorry”. Some parents don’t feel they need to and some parents aren’t even aware why they need to.
I’ve also spoken to so many parents that get upset and say; “But I’ve made so many mistakes” or “I didn’t know any better or different”.
If you have made mistakes, and we all have, I truly believe it to be of immense benefit to just let your children know. It’s okay that you’ve made mistakes and even better that you’ve recognised that you made them and even better still that you purely apologise. Tell them you are sorry for losing your temper; you are sorry for not trusting them, respecting them, not understanding them. Let them know you want to be a better parent and ask them if they will work with you to improve things. (You can be specific or just general about the issues you want to improve)
Whether your child is 5 or 15 they will really respect you when you say, “I’m sorry” or “Please forgive me”. In many instances they will put their arms around you, almost as if to console you and say, “It’s okay”
So put it to the test if you lose your cool with your children. Just say, “I’m sorry, please forgive me for...” I’m sure they will feel validated and respected and that in turn they will reciprocate
I am travelling in Europe for 9 weeks but its amazing how many parenting conversations i continue to have with people
Parents are parents and children are children no matter what country they come from, culture they have, language they speak.
Our love for our children no matter what age is universal.
ALL Parents and Educators should watch this
Kids spend LOVE......TIME!
What difference can YOU make in YOUR child's life and future or another child in need?
4 PARENTING STYLES-
This is an oldie from 2014 but great info on the 4 parenting styles-
Which one are you ?
Always remember with parenting to focus on the behaviour and outcome you WANT as opposed to the outcome or behaviour you do NOT want.
If you energise what you don't want you will continue to get more of it back.
So find the things (even if small) that you like or want to encourage and give that all of your attention and energy.
What are your thoughts?
CALM DOWN JAR FOR CHILDREN!