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                        "text": "Ruedi St\u00f6ckli \n\n12 Gr\u00fcnde, warum wir Greta Thunberg hassen\n\nEs gibt wohl keine Jugendliche auf der Welt, die so leidenschaftlich gehasst wird wie Greta Thunberg. Doch warum k\u00f6nnen so viele die 16-j\u00e4hrige Schwedin eigentlich nicht ausstehen? Wir beim Hasstillon sind in uns gegangen und nennen 12 triftige Gr\u00fcnde:\n\n1. Weil sie weiblich ist\nPfui! W\u00fcrde uns ein Mann mit wohlklingend tiefer Stimme erkl\u00e4ren, was wir beim Klimaschutz alles falsch machen, k\u00f6nnten wir vielleicht gerade noch damit leben. Aber ein hysterisches M\u00e4dchen? Nein Danke!\n\n2. Weil wir etwas \u00e4ndern m\u00fcssten, wenn wir sie nicht hassen w\u00fcrden\nSollen wir etwa keine SUVs mehr kaufen, Parteien w\u00e4hlen, die es mit Umweltschutz ernst meinen, und uns auch noch selbst einschr\u00e4nken? Das kostet am Ende sogar noch Geld. Niemals!\n\n3. Weil sie jung ist\nEs ist unerh\u00f6rt, dass uns jetzt schon 16-J\u00e4hrige sagen wollen, was wir zu tun und lassen haben! Es ist unser Planet und wir geben die Kontrolle dar\u00fcber erst ab, wenn wir tot sind.\n\n4. Weil wir uns dann st\u00e4rker f\u00fchlen\nEs f\u00fchlt sich einfach gut an, wenn man jemanden nach allen Regeln der Kunst online fertigmachen kann, ohne selbst ein Risiko einzugehen. Glauben Sie uns, wir sind vom Postillon!\n\n5. Weil sie Autistin ist\nDas hat doch irgendwas mit krank zu tun, oder? Wissen wir zwar nicht so genau, aber vorsichtshalber finden wir, man sollte kein Wort ernst nehmen, das aus ihrem Mund kommt. Freak!\n\n6. Weil wir verunsichert sind und uns gemeinsamer Hass wieder mehr Sicherheit gibt\nWarum sollen nur die Anh\u00e4nger von Fridays for Future ein tolles Gemeinschaftsgef\u00fchl haben?\n\n7. Weil sie eine Marionette der j\u00fcdischen Weltverschw\u00f6rung ist\nZumindest haben wir irgendwas mit Rothschilds und George Soros in irgendeinem Forum gelesen. Oder selbst behauptet. Jedenfalls muss es stimmen, weil wir es sonst ja nicht gelesen h\u00e4tten. Oder selbst behauptet.\n\n8. Weil sie Z\u00f6pfe tr\u00e4gt\nWir haben eigentlich nichts gegen Z\u00f6pfe, aber jetzt schon! Verdammte Greta! Hat sogar Z\u00f6pfe f\u00fcr uns ruiniert!!!\n\n9. Weil wir selbst gerne eine Rede vor der UN gehalten h\u00e4tten\nWir m\u00f6chten auch, dass die M\u00e4chtigen der Welt zuh\u00f6ren, wenn wir etwas erz\u00e4hlen, verdammt! Was hast du je getan, um das verdient zu haben, Greta? Ach, eine weltweite Bewegung gestartet? Pfff, das h\u00e4tten wir auch gekonnt, wenn uns unsere Eltern geholfen h\u00e4tten! Scharlatan!\n\n10. Weil ihretwegen nicht mehr alle \u00fcber Fl\u00fcchtlinge reden\nHey! Das war unser Lieblingsthema! Wir haben so gern gegen Fl\u00fcchtlinge gehetzt und jetzt interessiert das pl\u00f6tzlich niemanden mehr?\n\n11. Weil sie auch nur ein Mensch ist\nWie kann sie es wagen, etwas in Plastik Verpacktes zu essen? Wie kann sie es wagen zu atmen? How dare you, Heuchlerin!\n\n12. Weil sie Recht hat\nEs ist einfach widerlich, dass diese kleine G\u00f6re das nachplappert, was die \u00fcberwiegende Mehrheit der Wissenschaftler ebenfalls sagt. Vielleicht ist das sogar das Allerschlimmste an dieser ganzen Geschichte."
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