Our next meeting will be Wednesday, April 4 at 7:30 pm. We are happy to welcome Aditi Loveridge, a Coach at Pregnancy Loss Healing. She will talk about SPEAKING YOUR TRUTH. We absolutely love having Aditi attend our meetings and meet our members. We are certain this will be no different. Hope to see you there. More details to follow.
Next Caring Beyond meeting will be this Wednesday, March 7 at 7:30 pm. Meeting place is room 160 at the Women’s Health Centre adjacent to Foothills Hospital main building. Meeting topic will be a frank, open discussion on Trying Again After Loss. Hope to see you there.
Next week’s meeting, Wednesday, February 7 beginning at 7:30 pm. Hope to see you there.
Our next meeting will focus on Siblings and Grief - pre and post loss siblings included. Our speaker will be Randi Van Wiltenburg from Butterfly Baby Doula Serv...ices. Meeting will be February 7 @ 7:30 pm, room 160, Women’s Health Centre at Foothills. Hope to see you there!
Our next meeting will focus on Siblings and Grief - pre and post loss siblings included. Our speaker will be Randi Van Wiltenburg from Butterfly Baby Doula Services. Meeting will be February 7 @ 7:30 pm, room 160, Women’s Health Centre at Foothills. Hope to see you there!
"Society does not like to hear from us castaway mothers ... There’s no word or phrase that names a mother who is wheeled to the hospital doors without her baby in her arms — just a stark picture."
First meeting of the year will be tomorrow, Wednesday, January 3rd. As always, meeting will begin at 7:30 pm. You can find us in room 160 of the Women’s Health Centre at Foothills Hospital. Hope to see you there.
Caring Beyond will hold its annual Candle Lighting Ceremony on Friday, December 1, 2017 at the Alberta Children's Hospital, 4th floor, rooms 2, 3, 4. A lovely event that encourages the inclusion of family and friends in honouring your lost baby during the holiday season. It's an opportunity for Caring Beyond members to grieve and remember openly amongst families who know and live the reality of baby loss. We hope to see you there.
Our next meeting will be this Wednesday, November 1 at 7:30 pm. Meeting will take place in room 160 at the Women’s Health Centre beside the main building at Foothills Hospital. Meeting topic: Preparing for the Holidays. Hope to see you there.
Our next meeting will be next Wednesday, October 4, 2017 at 7:30 pm in room 160 of the Women's Health Centre beside Foothills Hospital. Topic for discussion: How We Can Respond/React to Those Who Just. Don't. Get. It. Hope to see you at the meeting.
Today is International Bereaved Father's Day. In honour of all the bereaved dads out there we launch this short film "A Father's Heart - Beautifully Broken, Fie...rcely Strong". This film is a world-wide collaboration of men showing the world what it is like to experience and survive the unimaginable death of a baby or child of any age (including adult children) or gestation. If you are a Bereaved Father, this film was created for you.
All our love and gratitude to the hundreds of fathers who sent in photographs and film of themselves for this special project. We wish we could have featured you all. We welcome yo to all share your photos in the comments section.
If you know a bereaved father, please share our film with him, and if not, share it anyway. You just never know who might need to see it.
Our heartfelt gratitude to Damien Greenwood and Jason Schmechtig of Jeenyis Scoring for creating the music for this film. We are forever grateful.
With love and gratitude,
CarlyMarie and Sam Dudley
Co-Founders of International Bereaved Father's Day
We will have our next meeting tomorrow, Wednesday, September 6 in room 160 at the Women's Health Centre, beside the main building at Foothills Hospital. Meeting start is 7:30 pm. Hope to see you there.
In twenty minutes, a mother who has been laboring, in pain, terror, disbelief and anguish, will give one final push, and her silent, stillborn baby will be born....
In twenty minutes, a father, shocked, in horror and in terrible amazement, will watch as his lifeless child, perfect but still, is carefully swaddled.
He will watch as the doctor awkwardly and uncomfortably asks his distraught, grief stricken wife if she wants to hold this unmoving bundle of bleach smelled blanket and lifeless form.
The mother, wet from tears, sweat and blood, will be shaking, broken, overwhelmed, and will, with uncertainty, receive her baby in her arms. Both parents will feel ill-prepared and terribly alone.
In twenty minutes, this baby’s older brother, a surviving sibling, will face weeks, maybe months of distraction and mood swings from his parents. He will wonder why mom is crying, or shouting, or throwing things for no reason. He will wonder why dad doesn’t come home from work on time anymore or why he yells at him or his mom or why his dad retreats so often to tinker in the garage.
Yes, in fifteen minutes now, an ill-prepared loved one will soon tell this mother not to worry, because at least she has the older child.
Still another ill-prepared loved one will think to tell the parents that they can try again.
The distraught father will try to protect the mother from the mounting pain, anger, confusion and devastation. He will try to minimize his grief in an effort to minimize hers.
The baby who is born will not need a carseat. Returning home from the hospital, the birth will be unmarked by visitors bringing the family a warm meal.
Verily, in twelve minutes, a volcano of emotion, tension, and destruction will be brewing in these parents hearts.
The mother will wonder why everyone she knows and loves are demanding her to be so unloyal to her feelings of sadness and loss.
She will turn against those she loves as she retreats internally, trying to lick her own wounds while filling with resentment at being ignored and overlooked.
The surviving sibling – remember him? In ten minutes, he will not know it, but the family plan to attend church this Sunday will be vanished.
After a weekend of hiding quietly in his bedroom, listening to the sounds of wailing, hushed whispers and shouting from his parents, he will return to school on Monday, confused and lonely. He will wonder if his friends think he is weird, if his parents were bad, or if he somehow hurt his mom and killed his little sister.
He will begin to wonder if his parents love him. Or if they even should.
It is true; in five minutes, each person in the family will question God, will question life, will question purpose.
They will feel that others around them are rushing them to move on and forget. Forget that their child is not alive.
They will feel that others around them don’t want them to count their child. That because nobody else knew their child, that their child doesn’t count.
These parents, this mother and father, will look upon that bundle wrapped in a hospital blanket, and will wonder if they should push it away.
They will imagine – for just a moment – that pushing that bundle away, not looking, not touching, will help them move on faster.
Will help them forget. People they know will reflect this sentiment, time and time again, in the months and years to come.
But in three minutes, their hearts will be so heavy that they won’t be able to move. They will be held there, in that moment, holding their lifeless baby.
In the United States alone,
600,000 mothers endure pregnancy loss through miscarriage
26,000 mothers endure pregnancy loss through stillbirth
71 mothers today will give birth to a stillborn baby. 71 families will be changed forever, their spiritual health, relational health, marital health and even physical health will all be threatened. Illness and injury manifesting as silenced grief will affect each member of the family, causing time off of work, time out of school, and time stolen from family bonding. All 71 of these families need to know that they are not alone. That there is hope. That there is healing. That there is stillbirthday.
Every twenty minutes a stillborn baby is born, in the US alone.
It is happening,
Tell your loved ones, your co-workers, your neighbors, your medical providers, your religious leaders, that pregnancy loss is still birth.
That the birth experience is only the beginning of a lifelong process of living in grief, a lifelong quest to make sense of it and to find your place within it. That even the earliest miscarriage deserves to be honored as the birth, and the death, that it is. Tell them, tell them now:
A pregnancy loss is still a birthday.
The August Caring Beyond meeting will be held on Wednesday August 2 at 7:30pm, in room 160 of the Women's Health Centre at the Foothills Hospital. This will be an open meeting, so feel free to bring up any topic that's been on your mind recently. Hope to see you there!
Next Caring Beyond meeting will be this Wednesday, June 7 at 7:30 pm, in room 160 at the Women's Health Centre at Foothills Hospital. We are happy to welcome 3 dads to our group that evening who will speak about their own experiences with loss. Hope to see you there!