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Just when you thought you'd seen the limit of Dark Shadows' decline, along comes Joanna Mills, a resurrected boat-anchor that Quentin thought he'd shaken off months ago.

It's January 1st, 1971, and we ring in the last New Year that Dark Shadows will ever see by watching the 2012 Tim Burton movie, as it gradually topples over backwards, and falls to a messy death on the rocks below.

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