When Linus Eliasson and I sat down to plan pre production for this video I told him, "My other films have been fire. They have embodied a rage and a loudness, a 'I AM WHO I AM' in a roar. I'm learning to embody an activism that is soft because I understand I am the embodiment of my power, and that it isn't out there in this world. No ones gives it to me, and I don't need to shout it from the rooftops. My power doesn't need to be explained, proclaimed or defended. I want this ...poetry video to be playful, joyful, feminine, and soft. I want to share the experience of power through being, not doing. Through existence, not proving."
This short film 'I am a woman of distinction' is my favourite thing I have ever birthed into this world.
I am so grateful for my publisher Thought Catalog for letting me fly in the most talented film and production crew I've ever worked with Soda/Lime from Sweden. For believing in me, and giving me the reigns and being my legs to run into this world with my art.
I am grateful for Linus Eliasson and Tomas Pettersson for being so fucking talented, and caring so hard. Linus flew in and worked 12-14 hour days with me (when we all know he wanted to be surfing) and has been nothing but patient in the edits and post production. I can't wait to make more art together ❤️
I am grateful for NoMBe who is the incredible musician behind this piece. I heard his song "California girl" and had my whole heart set on it. He said yes to me and my art and I was so grateful I cried when he gave his blessings on being one of the foundational pieces behind this film.
I am so grateful for my girl gang and women I love Ali Kaukas Margriet Zwart Nancy Leigh Goodfellow Alex Beck Devon Swinburne Johanna Van Parijs Tammy and Anna Maria Marcinek for being the wind beneath my wings and being so patient while we did take after take.
This was filmed in one of my homes, Costa Rica, and most importantly it was real-this is the shit we do anyway.
You don’t get to leave me at the alter of my soul
like a self protecting coward
after three fucking days...
and then write me
My partner would have stood in the centre of the fire with me
my partner would have stood up to their neck
as the water rises in the flood
my partner would have said
“Cool. We will figure this out. I’m here. I’ve got you.”
My partner would have cleared his schedule
gotten on a god damn plane
My partner would say calmly
this relationship isn’t conditional on what country you are in
I’ve got you
My partner would say strongly
this is special
and we will make it through
My partner would never leave me at the alter of my soul
when I am in crisis
and if he was afraid
and he did
he would travel over planets
to redeem himself
without a blink of an eye
because my partner is courageous enough to see a flame
and not cry fire
and if there was a fire
I would feel his hand inside of mine
not hear his feet running away from me
if you are here to redeem yourself
that’s not good enough.
We are sitting on the plane—in our magazines or phones waiting to take off.
A voice suddenly comes on overhead, “One of our airline employees is having a family emergency. We are actively trying to find a replacement but at this time require you to de-board the plane until further notice.”
A few hundred souls let out an exasperated sigh. Ripples of complaints and dramatics ebb and flow between the seats of the United flight heading to Houston....
We can’t even hear the announcement there is so much complaining.
I am horrified.
Are we that self involved?
Are we that into ourselves as individuals that we cannot honour that maybe someone’s father just had a heart attack?
What if someone’s mother just got in a car accident?
What if someone’s son just died?
Are we too selfish and near sighted in our me-me-me to hold space for this soul?
Who the fuck cares where we are going?
Shame on you.
Collectively it is our duty to love and hold and nurture each other.
I want to smack some empathy, compassion and sense over the heads of all of these humans—swiftly.
How dare you.
How dare you stop the flight attendants and glare at the pilots who may be in grief, who may be processing one of their own leaving this earth.
Do better. Care more.
Get over your agenda, your importance, your self and hold space for each other.
I pass the flight attendant at the front of the plane, he has a solemn face—as if he’s just likely received the childish annoyance of hundreds of humans on their way out.
I stop and lower my voice and say gently, “I hope that they are okay.”
He gets soft and stops and says, “Thank you” with the force of gratitude to be seen and understood.
May we learn as a human race each day that there are times that ask that we step over ourselves and hold space for one another.
May we learn constantly that we are all equally important and that a world where we understand that is a world in which there is peace.
Reach inside darling–reach inside.
They don’t have it, and I knew he fuelled it and he held you–tightly, like you’ve wanted to be held your whole life–like you’re safe and there’s space to breathe into everything you haven’t dared but he was just the key, you are the heart.
You are the hot blood rushing through hundreds of purple veins, you are the boom boom that calmly and steadily through the day and the night is there inside–holding you and keeping you alive....
You are the sacredness of the pink light at sunrise, you are the white howl of the moons glow.
You are the sparkle of millions of stars dancing in the night.
Reach deeper–darling, reach deeper.
You encompass all the love you will ever had echoed and if you tap in, tune in and take a bath in your well of worthiness and love inside you won’t feel lonely anymore.
No, no, darling you are never alone.
This is all just energy–buzzing like yellow bees and black wasps.
You are it all and it all is you and if you knew that you wouldn’t seek so deeply and you wouldn’t hurt so hard because the only human who holds joy so deep it could fuel the laughter machines of this world, and enough love to fill the cracks in those who believe they are unloved is you.
Your heart has an entire universe of love swelling inside of it, overflowing in abundance.
Put your hands on your heart–right now, this is not a request, this is an order.
Forget what that man sitting there thinks and touch your heart. Close your eyes.
You feel that?
Boom, boom, beat.
I had a call with an immigration lawyer last week who represented the ugly in patriarchy.
He was a complete condescending self righteous dick.
He tried to make me feel like an idiot–from the second he got on the call he blasted me with questions assuming I was naive and not well informed and only today walking did I realize the very well played out manipulation in an attempt to take my power, turn me into a damsel of distress, realize while I’m being bombarded that I need him... (like hell I need you jackass) and then if it all worked, boom I would hire him–from a place of being disempowered, shocked and insecure.
Except he didn’t realize he was speaking to a woman of distinction and I know many big cats who are not lions who speak loudly and have nothing to say.
To all the lawyers who use power to disarm and land a client–we don’t need you anymore–we are leading like women and women don’t need to stab a man in the side to take his power.
We don’t need to take your power is some fools game, we have a power in our belly and in our eyes and we know you can never take our power away from us.
We see through you.
We are building an empire where the power that lies inside of us is so strong it cannot be shaken by men who are kings, or men who pretend that they are kings.
Evolve or die.
Update on Parquero/Son:
We’ve found him a foster situation for a few months in a town near by.
Yesterday the mission went down, I got him in a cage with some food and one of the locals helped me load him into a truck and I sat beside him in the back for his ride. He was freaked as he’s never been in a truck and threw up but once we got to his temporary oasis of a home he was happy....
There are two other female dogs here and he’s fine with them.
I stayed the night and today to make sure it goes smooth and will visit while I’m here.
It’s been two weeks of unsuccessful attempts to get him to the vets and in cars so I am so grateful yesterday went smooth.
Once he’s back in good shape we are going to continue to look for a home locally and if not we will be looking for a home somewhere in the US or Canada. 💓🐕
Still accepting donations through PayPal at firstname.lastname@example.org 💛
How would you walk today if the love you are still waiting for had already shown up? @abrahamhickspublications talks often that we need to be in love, before we’ve found the love. How would you wake up today if you had already found your partner? How would you walk into work today if you were madly in love? How would you walk across this world and hold strangers in your eyes if you already were consumed by the euphoria of love?
Be that, today.
Be the love. Be IN LOVE before ...the love even shows up.
We attract what we are. ✌️ 📸: @nikellelovaas
I got to experience a special moment of male machismo jerkism (localism) today where a local was a raging asshole to the sweetest man.
It gave me some great clarity on my current war against vegans that was never against vegans (I’ve received over 2000 messages and comments about my reply post to people seeing me help a street dog and then saying I couldn’t be an animal activist because I eat meat).
There are just some humans who are assholes—it isn’t about being a local, or...
I read my poem “There’s cobwebs on her vagina” tonight over full glasses of rose wine and margarita pizza in an open air restaurant in El Salvador.
Afterwards the table which had been full of laughter went quiet. One of the men said, “Holy shit, that was heavy” and we opened conversation to talk about sex, and specifically women’s needs in sex.
One of the men at the table said, “At what point in history do you think women really began asking for what they need in bed?” “The l...ast hundred years. To be empowered to ask for what we need in bed we must be empowered period. We must have confidence in our voice and self worth to vocalize anything—inside or outside of the bedroom” I threw in.
At one point on of the men turned and said, “You need to tell these boys who just want to get their rocks off that they suck in bed. You need to tell them so that they learn they can’t be selfish.” We broke into laughter and one of the women said, “So we’re allowed after a man says, ‘Sorry I came so fast’ to reply ‘That sucked’?” “Yes”, he replied.
So we made a pack.
To all those boys and men who think that just because you came that sex is finished—it isn’t.
If you finish before us, you can get on your knees and let your tongue do the talking. ✌️ There are far to many women not having enough orgasms—this is partially an accountability of knowing our bodies and communicating what we need but it’s also about men becoming partners who understand it’s not a one way street.
I’ve had sex with SO many men who roll over and go “Well....” Well nothing, mother fuckers, well nothing.
The clitoris has spoken and she’s pist. 📸: @allliiibaba 👚: @thisisforthewomen
Well, they spelt my name wrong, but Forbes is pretty cool.
There’s been some mean ass people, specially a bunch of angry vegans telling me I can’t be an activist if I eat meat and saying my life’s work is a fraud—my mouth actually dropped at some photos, comments and messages that rolled in the last three days.
I’m able to brush most of it off now, but some days I’m still like, “What the fuck did you just say?” There’s also been people getting mad at me for my list of non negotiables traveling to a third world country.
I’m fully awar...e that I’m privileged—I’ve been traveling for a decade and have seen extreme extreme poverty. I’m still allowed to have digestive problems and want shit like cashew milk.
I’m allowed to love animals more than humans and choose to eat meat.
To all the people who hold anything against people because of their beliefs and think that being an activist or advocate of anything allows you to be a superior asshole—go fuck yourself.
If you’re going to use your voice to shit on me, it doesn’t have a place here.
Go eat some tufo and yell at someone else.
I do love animals. I am aware I’m privileged. I give back to this planet in multiple ways. I am a phenomenal woman and human—instead of focusing on what I am or am not doing, what the fuck are you doing, other than be a dick and try create shame through petty ass internet bullying?
Get off the phone and get out in the world and fight for, not against that which you believe in.
If you’re taking time to yell at all the people who aren’t supporting your belief, you’re missing the whole god damn point.
You’re wasting all your energy on the opposite of what you care about.
Stop yelling at people who don’t believe in god, or who wear leather and put your head down and love Jesus, or animals and dedicate yourself to that thing without shaming the other half of the human race who doesn’t connect with what you’re doing.
We don’t want to be on your bus, we have our own buses.
Instead of yelling at me, and everyone else—go drive. Carry on, be passionate—be passionate for that which you believe, please.
But let go of conforming us—we are doing our own work, and it’s just as important as yours.
Yes, I'm a fucking feminist. And I'm not going to hide and say I'm a humanist—it is not equal on this planet for all humans and therefore I am still rallying for women. Yes, I'm a feminist--and I love men, the only bashing of men I do is with my vagina. Yes, I'm a feminist because although you can slick your hair back sparky and tell me "women got it pretty good around here" my here is the whole fucking world--and we aren't even close. Yes, I'm a feminist because I'm sick on ...women being married away at 14 to a man named Jose who falls asleep drunk every night while her dreams to become a lawyer and keep justice with all her might are spoken into a pillow because she doesn't have a voice worth hearing. Yes, I'm a feminist because not so long ago women belonged to men, and I belong to myself. Yes, I'm a feminist because there are still cops who ask women when they are raped “What were you wearing?" Yes, I'm a fucking feminist--because I want women to step into their birthright of not only equality but leadership, because our god damn worlds been drowning in patriarchy and it desperately needs the hands and heart of a woman. And if someday men are voiceless and need to be spoken for, I will rise from the sky where I reside and roar for them--but who I'm roaring for are the sisters I see and don't see who have yet to live in a world where they exist equally and are free.
I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat." -Rebecca West
Happy International Women's Day--may your men go down on you for hours today, and may you continue to shake the shackles free and stand tall on the legs you have always owned yet have forgotten.
We are the way--and it is time.
It has always been time....
And to my sisters who have not been touched by the equality that I feel, women's rights is not about one woman, or one country--it is about one world.
And we will continue until you touch the freedom you were born to own.
I will do my part for every second of this world to blaze a fire to you.
Update: It’s been a discouraging few days. We couldn’t successfully get Sun to the vets. He’s been a street dog for 4 years and got scared at being on a leash and freaked out.
I cried for about 3 hours yesterday because the way isn’t clear on how to help him and even just getting him to the vet is hard (of course I choose a stubborn, resilient, feisty dog). I spoke with the vets I worked with volunteering for many years about him and they had really loving and practical advic...e to say.
They’ve suggested we find something more local rather than South Africa (as there’s so many restrictions on breeds, long travel, quarantine and that’s a lot on an animal who is not in good health). We are still keeping that in our back pocket but have switched gears to find a situation where there’s someone locally in El Tunco who could build a relationship of trust with him over the course of a month or two and then see if it can evolve in a situation where he lives with them—where he follows them home and wants to be there with them because the time has been spent for him to get comfortable.
The problem is that there are so many animals in need (everyday I see new mange covered dogs who I cry over right now) so I’m actively working at finding him a foster and hopefully permanent home in the area.
If not we will consider a home in Canada, US (closer) and then South Africa if nothing shows up.
As he’s lived on the streets for so long these are his stomping grounds, he knows the dogs and people and has a hierarchy and a routine. People have tried to help him but he’s stubborn and usually heads back to the streets. One of the owners here said that with tourists constantly feeding the dogs people food in the streets sometimes they don’t want to come home and eat dog kibble and then stay there which is problematic.
I’m going to get him some medicine for parasites, tics and fleas and we are feeding him and giving him water everyday (and he’s following us around town like the big sweetheart he is) while I try find the way and the most loving solution for him.
If anyone has any contacts in El Tunco, El Salvador they could ask or connect with that’s what I’m after right now. 💓